Time is Fleeting – Farewell
by Lieutenant T'Pal & (G) erie'Riov - Sub Commander Rianni Monteros-t'Khellian
Post Details
After insisting to go with the Klingon ship to look for the Freedom, Ayren rushed to her quarters to get her things together, her heart torn in two. Her shaking hand made it to her comm badge, after hesitating a few times, the outward evidence of the internal conflict.
=^= Kelan to Monteros =^= she managed.
=^=Go ahead.=^= Rianni replied, Ayren's voice wasn't the normal glowing tone she had when they talked.
Clearing her tight throat she continued. =^= Can you come to my quarters? =^= she asked softly.
=^=I'm on my way.=^= Rianni replied, wondering to herself what was wrong with her beloved. Deciding she couldn't wait the five to seven minute lift ride and walk to the quarters they'd been sharing of late she chose a quicker method, =^=Computer, initiate site to site transport, CDO Kelan's quarters.=^=
Mere seconds after disappearing from the flight deck in a flash of blue she reappeared in Ayren's quarters in another, running straight to Ayren and wrapping her arms around her, "What's wrong, love?"
Ayren was quiet for a few moments, tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks. "It.. is the Freedom... DS5 had lost contact," she said when she could.
"Oh, wow." Was all Rianni could manage at first, tears misting her eyes as she thought about the worst case scenario her aunt could currently be in, not to mention Da'nal. Then it all hit her, ~That's what this is about. It's not about the Freddom or anyone else on it, it's about Da'nal. It's about her and Da'nal.~
When Rianni managed to get control of her thoughts she focused on Ayren again, "I'm sure he's fine, baby." She said, reassuringly stroking her beloved's cheek with the back of her hand, "You know Klingons, they're tough and they love to go off the radar every so often, glorious battle and all that." She reached up and stroked Ayren's face again, almost like she was saying good bye, ~This is it, I guess.~
The thought and tenderness she felt eminating from Rianni, flooded her heart and added to her agony and she took her beloved's hand and kissed it, closing her tearful eyes. "The children..." she mumbled. "They cannot loose their father too.." she whispered.
She sensed the beautiful woman's thoughts and they were all true. "I love you..." she said softly. "You know I do..."
"Then don't leave me." Rianni pleaded softly, tears now streaming down her face, "Stay with me. I'll send for my father, he'll turn out every Warbird in the Empire to find the Freedom for me, there's no reason you have to go...there's no reason for us to be apart. Ayren, I love you so much, please don't leave me." Rianni felt herself right on the edge of a breakdown, and she knew she wouldn't be able to fight it back much longer, "Please, Ayren, I can't lose you."
"I...." Ayren was torn beyond what she could explain. Somehow she had known that a day like this might come, but had not expected it so quickly. She was leaving someone she had loved and knew loved her, to look for another she wasn't even sure wanted her there, or worse, was even alive.
Something inside her compelled her though... her instincts told her that she was doing the right thing, however painful it was. "I have to go... it is my... destiny..." There, she had expressed it, the word feeling awkward, but right on her lips.
"How can you be so sure he's your destiny?" Rianni reasoned, pulling Ayren to a mirror, "Look, remember? The change you made because of the change I brought into your life? How can you be so sure after sharing what we've shared that I'm not your destiny? How can you be sure that you're not supposed to be with me?" ~Because I know for a damn fact I'm supposed to be with you.~
"Ohh, my love...." she said and held the small woman in her arms, crying freely. "I just know... the children are like my own... and ..he....There was.. a message...." Ayren fell silent, she couldn't explain in words. "I have to go..." she said after a long silence.
"NO!" Rianni protested, "We've only just found each other, don't throw this away!"
"Come with me.." she asked impulsively
"Okay." Rianni agreed, equally impulsively, "I'll go with you!"
"Well get packing!!!," Ayren said with a bright face
"Okay! Let's do it!" Rianni grinned, grabbing Ayren and kissing her deeply, ~When this is over will you come to Romulus with me?~
The question sent an ice cold shock wave through Ayren, completely throwing her. She suddenly realized that she had wanted her bread buttered on both sides, unwilling to acknowledge the impossibility of the picture she had conjured up in her mind.... of all of them being just one big happy family. That was not going to happen. It would never happen.
She needn't say a word, Rianni would know what she had felt and to what realization she had come. A renewed stream of tears fell down her cheeks. Today she would have to make a choice... no middle road... no pleasing everyone. No matter what choice she would make, she would get hurt... the reason why she had avoided even the thought of choosing one or the other..... how could she choose?
Rianni had seen that expression before, right before someone she loved gave her her walking papers, it seemed this was to be no different, "You've decided you want to be with him, haven't you?" Rianni said, sobbing softly as she watched her worst nightmare unfold before her eyes, "I mean, I guess I can understand, he can give you a ready made family, plus one of your own, something I can never hope to do. I guess if that's what you want he's the way to go......."
Her arms still circled Rianni. "It is not only that...from the first day I had met him... and the children.... I knew that our lives would be tied together... I didn't even think, I knew... and then you came into my life. I never thought I would have to seperate ...us...." Ayren said tearfully.
"The don't." Rianni offered, "Explore this path before you decide it's the wrong one!" She knew her protests weren't going to help, but she felt she had to fight for the one she loved.
'This may all be for nothing.... I don't even know if he is alive at this point...." she said with irony, reminding herself why she was leaving in the first place.
"And what if he isn't?" Rianni questioned, then added, "Or what if he is but he's in trouble he can't handle? What are you going to do then? You're not a warrior, Ayren, you need to stay out of this. If not for love of me for your own safety!"
That brought another perspective to on the matter, but it didn't change her mind. "I am a diplomat though and that might be needed.... and his children.... they will need me too," she said, but inside her she knew she would give her life to save them.
"This is going to sound selfish, but right now I don't give a damn." Rianni sobbed, "What the frack about me, damn it? Have you thought about that? I mean, you make me fall in love with you and then you just leave to chase some man who may or may not want to be with you, if he's even still alive. What the frack is that? How is that right? For me or you?"
Ayren just stared at Rianni. "I honestly don't know," she responded softly, holding Rianni's hands in her own. "I don't want to lose you.... .and I don't want to lose him and the children either," Ayren said as thought tightened her throat.
"I know, there really is no easy way out of this one." Rianni sighed, partially defeated, partially exhausted.
"No there is not..." Ayren said matching the feeling of defeat. "I will always love you Rianni, no matter what...." Her voice had regret and pain in it now, regret that she had ever allowed Rianni into her life.... ever allowed herself to fall in love with her.... "I am sorry..." she said barely audible.... "so ... sorry..."
"Sorry, don't be sorry." Rianni said, pulling her closer, "Be with me and you'll never have to be sorry!"
That broke Ayren and this time she sobbed. "I'd be sorry no matter what..." she said her her heart wrenched as if in a vice grip.
"No you wouldn't, I promise you that!" Rianni begged through her tears. Romulans didn't beg, but right now she didn't give a damn, she loved Ayren and didn't want to lose her.
"I will be... if I stay here, I will never forgive myself for not going, when I knew I had to.... If I go.... I will never forgive myself for leaving you..." she said between the sobs shaking her shoulders
"Da'nal will be fine, I'll see to that. Isha's on that ship, too, you know?" Rianni protested, "I promise you, my father will be all over this! He'll turn the quadrant upside down to find Isha, then he'll find Da'nal! You don't have to go anywhere."
Ayren's eyes drifted to the bat'leth Da'nal had forged for her, where she had placed it on the wall. ~But my heart won't be.... ~
Rianni's eyes followed Ayren's, it didn't take long to see what she was staring at, "I guess that's it then. In the end, he was always the one you loved." Rianni sighed, then sobbed, the very picture of defeat, broken beyond repair and despairing at her lost love's feet.
By this time Ayren was empty, void of tears, her body silently shaking as she dropped to the floor, holding on to Rianni. No words, no sound came over her lips. She just sat there, devasted and defeated. Not only because of the pain she had felt, but more so for the pain she had caused.....
Rianni wanted to say so much, but she just didn't have the strength to verbalize anything, so she just thought it to Ayren, ~It's not too late to change your mind and stay, love. We can go on like this never happened, just stay.~
This time Ayren was not going to let her heart rule her head. Everything in her screamed to stay, but instinctively she knew that it would be the wrong decision for Rianni. "I will never make you happy.... you need my complete love.... my complete heart.....even if I love you so deeply...one part of me will always be with Da'nal and the children. I will not do that to you.... " she said quietly.
"I don't care if you think about him." Rianni said when she could finally manage a whisper, "I want you to be with me. We need each other, we complete each other, why should we walk around empty?"
Ayren shook her head.. "No Rianni..... it is already my fault that we are in this position, I will not.... can not... do this to you .... "
"So abandoning me is better?" Rianni whimpered, "How do you figure that?"
"Because I will hurt you..... I will miss Da'nal and the children and we will be here again....I can't do that....."
"And if you go there you're not going to miss me and hurt them?" Rianni offered her counterpoint, "Seriously? Do you really think this is going to be different when you're with them? You'll just hurt them, so why not stay with me, if you have to hurt someone, let it be me. I'm a grown woman, they're kids."
A life with Rianni...? On DS5, this station she so loved... with her Romulan family, going with her to the Empire? Her thoughts went to the Romulan telepath and friend she had recently lost... the coldness she had felt on the Romulan missionary ship, their suspicioun regarding her abilities... When she thought about the Empire, she shivered slightly... cold, stark, calculated. Would she ever be able to keep Rianni from her roots and keep her her on the station indefinely...would their love be strong enough to gaurd them against the inevitable cultural onslaught they would have to endure? Would she be able keep her longing for children of her own at bay indefnetely? Her throat tightened at the mere thought
Ayren knew then that their relationship had been cacooned in the safely of oblivion... blind innocent love... that might be devastated by the cruel reality of life, of their very different dreams, of uncertainly...
Tears welled up in her already red eyes.... There was no uncertainly in her heart at the thought of going to Da'nal, even if it was dangerous. She was peaceful about the decision even in this tremendous turmoil.
It was not a decision based on a choice between two people... it was a choice between two paths.....
"I love you Rianni," Ayren said with quiet conviction now. She was certain and clear, her voice steady as she slowly got up. "I will never forget what we had...."
~Never forget what we had? Wow, all of this can be dismissed in one sentence.~ Rianni, though still heartbroken, was now damned angry with this woman and that worthless Klingon, "Well, in that case I guess you should go." She replied, "I'll always love you, Ayren, but you're going to regret this decision you've made one day."
The words sliced through Ayren's heart like a sharpened dagger and she flinched. But she remained quiet, unable to speak. She deserved that, she deserved every bit of anger and bitterness Rianni felt. she wanted to comfort Rianni, but was at a loss. "I don't want to lose our friendship... " she said with some desperation.
Rianni had been just going to turn and go, but that had really made it a thousand times worse, "Our friendship? You 'just want to be friends' now, is that it?" Rianni spat back, tears streaming down her face, "You say that to someone you never wanted to be with to begin with! Someone you got with out of pity, or by mistake. So which was I, Ayren? Was I pity? Or was I a mistake?"
"No!" Ayren said helplessly. "You are never a mistake..." she said quietly. "I didn't say I just want to be friends, Rianni..... apart from being my lover, I also saw you as my deepest friend.... ..." Ayren said pleading. "I.... thought... we can have at least that..." she faltered again, not sure Rianni would understand.
"I don't know if we can, Ayren." Rianni sighed, "I wish we could, but I honestly don't know if we can because every time I see you it's going to be like ripping a scab off of a wound for me because I'll have to know that even though I love you with all my heart and soul and want to be with you more than anything that it's never going to happen because you through me away for him. Seriously, Ayren, I don't want you to be completely out of my life, but at this point I think you're asking way too much of me, I'm just a person, a person who's heart just got crushed by the person she wanted to be with forever....." She fumbled through her flight suit and pulled out a small, silken box, "Beam this fracking thing out into space, I guess."
Ayren stood helplessly watching the pain Rianni went through..... ~I am not throwing you away...I can never throw you away..!!!~ her thought screamed to her in agony. "It is me..... I cannot live without the life I will have with...... him... as a man.. I will hurt you sooner or later," she managed crying. "And I cannot bear that..... " Her eyes dropped to the box in Rianni's hand. "What is that?" she asked barely audible.
"Don't worry about it." Rianni replied, "It's something I was meaning to get rid of anyway."
"No you weren't.." Ayren said, her tone momentarily reflecting familiarity of the love they had shared before. "Show me.... please....."
"Here." Rianni said, handing it too her, "Not that it matters anyway, I guess. I wanted you... you know what, never mind. Let me shut the frack up."
A hint of a smile tugged at Ayren's lips though the tears wich she wiped carelessly with the back of her hand, before she took the small box from Rianni. Her eyes lifted from the little silk wrapped box to Rianni's face as if looking for the answer in her eyes. Her hands opened it carefully, every now and then still searching Rianni's eyes, till eventually the contents were revealed leaving Ayren breathless. Wordlessly her fingers traced the outline first before she looked up.
"Yeah, stupid, huh?" Rianni sighed.
The exquisite design of the jade coloured emeradls expressed the Romulan essence of the ring, set proudly, yet almost lovingly in the latinum base. "I am going to keep it," Ayren said simply in a near playful challenge.
"Whatever." Rianni said, shaking her head in defeat, ~Not like I wanted it around reminding me of what I lost anyway.~
"Oh Rianni... I want to be reminded of you... have something of you wherever I go...." she explained, sensing the defeat Rianni felt.
"Well, whatever, I bought it for you after all." Rianni sniffed, "So, yeah, it's yours."
Ayren placed the ring in her palm and closed her fingers tightly around it. "I love you... know that always..."
"Yeah." Was all Rianni could manage, it just wasn't making her feel any better, the words just seemed....empty now when Ayren said them, ~I love you, too. Not that it matters I guess......~
To Ayren it did matter, but she knew that it would never be the same again. She might never even see Rianni again. Suddenly the chime on her door rang and sensing Klingons, including Akhil at her door, she knew they had come to help her get her things ready for transport. Tears sprang into her eyes, but she could say nothing.
"I should go." Rianni sniffed, opening the door to an entire party of Klingons, ~The last thing in the galaxy I want to see right now. Not even going to try to be nice.~ Rianni decided, then angrily shoved past them, "Out of my way, Klingon trash. Show some respect to an evolutionary superior."
Distraught, Ayren blinked defeated at the words and anger she heard and sensed, but had no time to ponder. Akhil's sharp eyes searched her face and the Klingons were waiting for instructions. it was time to leave... leave this life... behind.
-OFF
Rianni & Ayren, for the last time
OOC: Good bye, Sharon
by Lieutenant T'Pal & (G) erie'Riov - Sub Commander Rianni Monteros-t'Khellian
Post Details
| Title | Farewell | |
| Mission | Time is Fleeting | |
| Author(s) | Lieutenant T'Pal & (G) erie'Riov - Sub Commander Rianni Monteros-t'Khellian | |
| Posted | Sun Oct 11, 2009 @ 11:52am | |
| Location | Ayren's Quarters | |
| Timeline | After Ayren decides to search for the Freedom |
=^= Kelan to Monteros =^= she managed.
=^=Go ahead.=^= Rianni replied, Ayren's voice wasn't the normal glowing tone she had when they talked.
Clearing her tight throat she continued. =^= Can you come to my quarters? =^= she asked softly.
=^=I'm on my way.=^= Rianni replied, wondering to herself what was wrong with her beloved. Deciding she couldn't wait the five to seven minute lift ride and walk to the quarters they'd been sharing of late she chose a quicker method, =^=Computer, initiate site to site transport, CDO Kelan's quarters.=^=
Mere seconds after disappearing from the flight deck in a flash of blue she reappeared in Ayren's quarters in another, running straight to Ayren and wrapping her arms around her, "What's wrong, love?"
Ayren was quiet for a few moments, tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks. "It.. is the Freedom... DS5 had lost contact," she said when she could.
"Oh, wow." Was all Rianni could manage at first, tears misting her eyes as she thought about the worst case scenario her aunt could currently be in, not to mention Da'nal. Then it all hit her, ~That's what this is about. It's not about the Freddom or anyone else on it, it's about Da'nal. It's about her and Da'nal.~
When Rianni managed to get control of her thoughts she focused on Ayren again, "I'm sure he's fine, baby." She said, reassuringly stroking her beloved's cheek with the back of her hand, "You know Klingons, they're tough and they love to go off the radar every so often, glorious battle and all that." She reached up and stroked Ayren's face again, almost like she was saying good bye, ~This is it, I guess.~
The thought and tenderness she felt eminating from Rianni, flooded her heart and added to her agony and she took her beloved's hand and kissed it, closing her tearful eyes. "The children..." she mumbled. "They cannot loose their father too.." she whispered.
She sensed the beautiful woman's thoughts and they were all true. "I love you..." she said softly. "You know I do..."
"Then don't leave me." Rianni pleaded softly, tears now streaming down her face, "Stay with me. I'll send for my father, he'll turn out every Warbird in the Empire to find the Freedom for me, there's no reason you have to go...there's no reason for us to be apart. Ayren, I love you so much, please don't leave me." Rianni felt herself right on the edge of a breakdown, and she knew she wouldn't be able to fight it back much longer, "Please, Ayren, I can't lose you."
"I...." Ayren was torn beyond what she could explain. Somehow she had known that a day like this might come, but had not expected it so quickly. She was leaving someone she had loved and knew loved her, to look for another she wasn't even sure wanted her there, or worse, was even alive.
Something inside her compelled her though... her instincts told her that she was doing the right thing, however painful it was. "I have to go... it is my... destiny..." There, she had expressed it, the word feeling awkward, but right on her lips.
"How can you be so sure he's your destiny?" Rianni reasoned, pulling Ayren to a mirror, "Look, remember? The change you made because of the change I brought into your life? How can you be so sure after sharing what we've shared that I'm not your destiny? How can you be sure that you're not supposed to be with me?" ~Because I know for a damn fact I'm supposed to be with you.~
"Ohh, my love...." she said and held the small woman in her arms, crying freely. "I just know... the children are like my own... and ..he....There was.. a message...." Ayren fell silent, she couldn't explain in words. "I have to go..." she said after a long silence.
"NO!" Rianni protested, "We've only just found each other, don't throw this away!"
"Come with me.." she asked impulsively
"Okay." Rianni agreed, equally impulsively, "I'll go with you!"
"Well get packing!!!," Ayren said with a bright face
"Okay! Let's do it!" Rianni grinned, grabbing Ayren and kissing her deeply, ~When this is over will you come to Romulus with me?~
The question sent an ice cold shock wave through Ayren, completely throwing her. She suddenly realized that she had wanted her bread buttered on both sides, unwilling to acknowledge the impossibility of the picture she had conjured up in her mind.... of all of them being just one big happy family. That was not going to happen. It would never happen.
She needn't say a word, Rianni would know what she had felt and to what realization she had come. A renewed stream of tears fell down her cheeks. Today she would have to make a choice... no middle road... no pleasing everyone. No matter what choice she would make, she would get hurt... the reason why she had avoided even the thought of choosing one or the other..... how could she choose?
Rianni had seen that expression before, right before someone she loved gave her her walking papers, it seemed this was to be no different, "You've decided you want to be with him, haven't you?" Rianni said, sobbing softly as she watched her worst nightmare unfold before her eyes, "I mean, I guess I can understand, he can give you a ready made family, plus one of your own, something I can never hope to do. I guess if that's what you want he's the way to go......."
Her arms still circled Rianni. "It is not only that...from the first day I had met him... and the children.... I knew that our lives would be tied together... I didn't even think, I knew... and then you came into my life. I never thought I would have to seperate ...us...." Ayren said tearfully.
"The don't." Rianni offered, "Explore this path before you decide it's the wrong one!" She knew her protests weren't going to help, but she felt she had to fight for the one she loved.
'This may all be for nothing.... I don't even know if he is alive at this point...." she said with irony, reminding herself why she was leaving in the first place.
"And what if he isn't?" Rianni questioned, then added, "Or what if he is but he's in trouble he can't handle? What are you going to do then? You're not a warrior, Ayren, you need to stay out of this. If not for love of me for your own safety!"
That brought another perspective to on the matter, but it didn't change her mind. "I am a diplomat though and that might be needed.... and his children.... they will need me too," she said, but inside her she knew she would give her life to save them.
"This is going to sound selfish, but right now I don't give a damn." Rianni sobbed, "What the frack about me, damn it? Have you thought about that? I mean, you make me fall in love with you and then you just leave to chase some man who may or may not want to be with you, if he's even still alive. What the frack is that? How is that right? For me or you?"
Ayren just stared at Rianni. "I honestly don't know," she responded softly, holding Rianni's hands in her own. "I don't want to lose you.... .and I don't want to lose him and the children either," Ayren said as thought tightened her throat.
"I know, there really is no easy way out of this one." Rianni sighed, partially defeated, partially exhausted.
"No there is not..." Ayren said matching the feeling of defeat. "I will always love you Rianni, no matter what...." Her voice had regret and pain in it now, regret that she had ever allowed Rianni into her life.... ever allowed herself to fall in love with her.... "I am sorry..." she said barely audible.... "so ... sorry..."
"Sorry, don't be sorry." Rianni said, pulling her closer, "Be with me and you'll never have to be sorry!"
That broke Ayren and this time she sobbed. "I'd be sorry no matter what..." she said her her heart wrenched as if in a vice grip.
"No you wouldn't, I promise you that!" Rianni begged through her tears. Romulans didn't beg, but right now she didn't give a damn, she loved Ayren and didn't want to lose her.
"I will be... if I stay here, I will never forgive myself for not going, when I knew I had to.... If I go.... I will never forgive myself for leaving you..." she said between the sobs shaking her shoulders
"Da'nal will be fine, I'll see to that. Isha's on that ship, too, you know?" Rianni protested, "I promise you, my father will be all over this! He'll turn the quadrant upside down to find Isha, then he'll find Da'nal! You don't have to go anywhere."
Ayren's eyes drifted to the bat'leth Da'nal had forged for her, where she had placed it on the wall. ~But my heart won't be.... ~
Rianni's eyes followed Ayren's, it didn't take long to see what she was staring at, "I guess that's it then. In the end, he was always the one you loved." Rianni sighed, then sobbed, the very picture of defeat, broken beyond repair and despairing at her lost love's feet.
By this time Ayren was empty, void of tears, her body silently shaking as she dropped to the floor, holding on to Rianni. No words, no sound came over her lips. She just sat there, devasted and defeated. Not only because of the pain she had felt, but more so for the pain she had caused.....
Rianni wanted to say so much, but she just didn't have the strength to verbalize anything, so she just thought it to Ayren, ~It's not too late to change your mind and stay, love. We can go on like this never happened, just stay.~
This time Ayren was not going to let her heart rule her head. Everything in her screamed to stay, but instinctively she knew that it would be the wrong decision for Rianni. "I will never make you happy.... you need my complete love.... my complete heart.....even if I love you so deeply...one part of me will always be with Da'nal and the children. I will not do that to you.... " she said quietly.
"I don't care if you think about him." Rianni said when she could finally manage a whisper, "I want you to be with me. We need each other, we complete each other, why should we walk around empty?"
Ayren shook her head.. "No Rianni..... it is already my fault that we are in this position, I will not.... can not... do this to you .... "
"So abandoning me is better?" Rianni whimpered, "How do you figure that?"
"Because I will hurt you..... I will miss Da'nal and the children and we will be here again....I can't do that....."
"And if you go there you're not going to miss me and hurt them?" Rianni offered her counterpoint, "Seriously? Do you really think this is going to be different when you're with them? You'll just hurt them, so why not stay with me, if you have to hurt someone, let it be me. I'm a grown woman, they're kids."
A life with Rianni...? On DS5, this station she so loved... with her Romulan family, going with her to the Empire? Her thoughts went to the Romulan telepath and friend she had recently lost... the coldness she had felt on the Romulan missionary ship, their suspicioun regarding her abilities... When she thought about the Empire, she shivered slightly... cold, stark, calculated. Would she ever be able to keep Rianni from her roots and keep her her on the station indefinely...would their love be strong enough to gaurd them against the inevitable cultural onslaught they would have to endure? Would she be able keep her longing for children of her own at bay indefnetely? Her throat tightened at the mere thought
Ayren knew then that their relationship had been cacooned in the safely of oblivion... blind innocent love... that might be devastated by the cruel reality of life, of their very different dreams, of uncertainly...
Tears welled up in her already red eyes.... There was no uncertainly in her heart at the thought of going to Da'nal, even if it was dangerous. She was peaceful about the decision even in this tremendous turmoil.
It was not a decision based on a choice between two people... it was a choice between two paths.....
"I love you Rianni," Ayren said with quiet conviction now. She was certain and clear, her voice steady as she slowly got up. "I will never forget what we had...."
~Never forget what we had? Wow, all of this can be dismissed in one sentence.~ Rianni, though still heartbroken, was now damned angry with this woman and that worthless Klingon, "Well, in that case I guess you should go." She replied, "I'll always love you, Ayren, but you're going to regret this decision you've made one day."
The words sliced through Ayren's heart like a sharpened dagger and she flinched. But she remained quiet, unable to speak. She deserved that, she deserved every bit of anger and bitterness Rianni felt. she wanted to comfort Rianni, but was at a loss. "I don't want to lose our friendship... " she said with some desperation.
Rianni had been just going to turn and go, but that had really made it a thousand times worse, "Our friendship? You 'just want to be friends' now, is that it?" Rianni spat back, tears streaming down her face, "You say that to someone you never wanted to be with to begin with! Someone you got with out of pity, or by mistake. So which was I, Ayren? Was I pity? Or was I a mistake?"
"No!" Ayren said helplessly. "You are never a mistake..." she said quietly. "I didn't say I just want to be friends, Rianni..... apart from being my lover, I also saw you as my deepest friend.... ..." Ayren said pleading. "I.... thought... we can have at least that..." she faltered again, not sure Rianni would understand.
"I don't know if we can, Ayren." Rianni sighed, "I wish we could, but I honestly don't know if we can because every time I see you it's going to be like ripping a scab off of a wound for me because I'll have to know that even though I love you with all my heart and soul and want to be with you more than anything that it's never going to happen because you through me away for him. Seriously, Ayren, I don't want you to be completely out of my life, but at this point I think you're asking way too much of me, I'm just a person, a person who's heart just got crushed by the person she wanted to be with forever....." She fumbled through her flight suit and pulled out a small, silken box, "Beam this fracking thing out into space, I guess."
Ayren stood helplessly watching the pain Rianni went through..... ~I am not throwing you away...I can never throw you away..!!!~ her thought screamed to her in agony. "It is me..... I cannot live without the life I will have with...... him... as a man.. I will hurt you sooner or later," she managed crying. "And I cannot bear that..... " Her eyes dropped to the box in Rianni's hand. "What is that?" she asked barely audible.
"Don't worry about it." Rianni replied, "It's something I was meaning to get rid of anyway."
"No you weren't.." Ayren said, her tone momentarily reflecting familiarity of the love they had shared before. "Show me.... please....."
"Here." Rianni said, handing it too her, "Not that it matters anyway, I guess. I wanted you... you know what, never mind. Let me shut the frack up."
A hint of a smile tugged at Ayren's lips though the tears wich she wiped carelessly with the back of her hand, before she took the small box from Rianni. Her eyes lifted from the little silk wrapped box to Rianni's face as if looking for the answer in her eyes. Her hands opened it carefully, every now and then still searching Rianni's eyes, till eventually the contents were revealed leaving Ayren breathless. Wordlessly her fingers traced the outline first before she looked up.
"Yeah, stupid, huh?" Rianni sighed.
The exquisite design of the jade coloured emeradls expressed the Romulan essence of the ring, set proudly, yet almost lovingly in the latinum base. "I am going to keep it," Ayren said simply in a near playful challenge.
"Whatever." Rianni said, shaking her head in defeat, ~Not like I wanted it around reminding me of what I lost anyway.~
"Oh Rianni... I want to be reminded of you... have something of you wherever I go...." she explained, sensing the defeat Rianni felt.
"Well, whatever, I bought it for you after all." Rianni sniffed, "So, yeah, it's yours."
Ayren placed the ring in her palm and closed her fingers tightly around it. "I love you... know that always..."
"Yeah." Was all Rianni could manage, it just wasn't making her feel any better, the words just seemed....empty now when Ayren said them, ~I love you, too. Not that it matters I guess......~
To Ayren it did matter, but she knew that it would never be the same again. She might never even see Rianni again. Suddenly the chime on her door rang and sensing Klingons, including Akhil at her door, she knew they had come to help her get her things ready for transport. Tears sprang into her eyes, but she could say nothing.
"I should go." Rianni sniffed, opening the door to an entire party of Klingons, ~The last thing in the galaxy I want to see right now. Not even going to try to be nice.~ Rianni decided, then angrily shoved past them, "Out of my way, Klingon trash. Show some respect to an evolutionary superior."
Distraught, Ayren blinked defeated at the words and anger she heard and sensed, but had no time to ponder. Akhil's sharp eyes searched her face and the Klingons were waiting for instructions. it was time to leave... leave this life... behind.
-OFF
Rianni & Ayren, for the last time
OOC: Good bye, Sharon