Things Past – Crossroads and New Paths
by Commander Chelsea Dunham
Post Details
ON:
Chelsea finished her rounds and returned to the office between that and her next task. She put her head round the door, expecting to find Ryan in the same or similar mood that she'd left him but she soon realised you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.
"Ry? What's wrong. You look like you're really upset. Too much admin?" she didn't really expect it to be the admin but she couldn't imagine what else could have happened, she'd only been gone half an hour.
Ryan didn't look up from the blank screen on the computer in front of him. He let out a loud grumble. "Nope, admin's fine, will be when I get to it anyway"
Chelsea thought better of asking why he hadn't got to it yet, judging by the dark frown on his face which was one she remembered with sensible caution.
Ryan shot up out the chair. "Your desk not mine, I'll move" and he walked away to the replicator. He rested his head against the control panel above the replicator and blew out a deep breath. "Coffee black, extra strong" he spoke quietly as he lifted his head away and stood waiting for the drink to materialise.
"Ry, I don't need the desk and you don't need another coffee. You're exhausted. Take a few hours and start again on a new shift tomorrow.. or tonight... just rest in the meantime?" she suggested gently, hoping not to have to get worried about him again so soon.
Ryan shook his head as he picked up the mug. "I'm not exhausted Chels I'm damned angry, I just had a visit from someone that I wish never walked in here" he told her as he turned to look at her finally.
"Anyone I know?" she asked carefully, still wary about what might have upset him.
"Legate Hydel Turvan ring any bells?" he asked as he raised the mug to his lips.
"Oh. I don't really think I know him but I've heard of his name. Is he something sinister along the Epsidian lines? Or am I making that up?" she looked upwards, searching her memory to try to think where she had heard that name and why.
"Yeah probably" Ryan nodded. "Started talking about how HIS government are undergoing a reclamation for all the lost sons and daughters of Cardassia" a scowl was firm over his brow and eyes as he spoke those words.
"Oh. That doesn't sound good." Chelsea shook her head, dreading what was coming next.
"No" he shook his head. "Obviously I was my usual sarcastic self, I started telling him how I don't consider Cardassia my home, to cut a long story short he got angry I got angry, he threatened me before he left that if we ever crossed paths etc etc" he explained.
"Oh Ryan, i'm sorry. It never seems to get any easier does it? You can't do right by any of these Cardassians, can you!" I was a rhetorical question and didn't need an answer. "I'm sure there must be others like you though. Ones who have had Cardassian genes thrust upon them unwanted but yet who are nice people and who want to do the right things." She wondered if this was too *blue sky and fluffy clouds* to be true but surely there had to be a white side to counter all these dark ones who Ryan had met so far?
"There are nice Cardassians...and yes I'm sure some would go back and help rebuild their world...sorry didn't mention that..." he apologised quickly and carried on. "That however is something I won't do he said I deserved to stay here and be surrounded by the fragile beings who have 'cultured' me all my life"
"Fragile? Typically unseeing of him not to realise that simply not having bones on the outside of your neck doesn't mean you're spineless." she retorted, angered by the dismissive nature of that barb which had been aimed at Ryan but which had caught at her as well.
Ryan nodded and smiled then placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Nevermind just one of those things I have to forget, sorry if I snapped" he removed his hand.
"You didn't" she replied, shrugging as he seemed to have coped with it and feeling relieved that it hadn't upset him as deeply as it might have done in the past. "This was very important progress Ry" she commented gently.
Ryan began to chuckle and he shook his head adamantly. "No, it's not. Wanna know why?" he asked as he lowered himself down onto the sofa.
"Yes" she said honestly as she walked to the replicator and got a drink for herself too.
"So... why then?" she smiled back at him, liking that he was a lot more balanced and serene. It truly *was* remarkable progress from the troubled man who had left.
"I said I felt as if something was missing and if it was Cardassia..." he bit his lip before carrying on. "That I would think about it, before it got heated but I said it that's what's bothering me, I'm not sure whether it's a step forward or a major step back"
"I'm wondering if it WERE a step back of any kind then you mightn't be so calm about it. But then again, if Cardassia is what is leaving you feeling incomplete then perhaps you DO need to take another visit and just see how it feels this time without the spectre of your father hovering over you and darkening the experience?" Chelsea offered.
"Nah" he smiled, deciding in that moment. "I'm not leaving again and besides" he began to grin. "I'm not going to let IT define me, I'm going to define IT, if that makes any sense?" he smiled at her.
"Total sense." She replied with a smile. "I'm loving that you're so much more in control of your destiny again now. It makes all the difference." she sat in the chair opposite his and sipped her tea. "So... that rest you need?" she persisted with a sheepish smile. She knew he wouldn't like the idea but she also knew he had been here half the night doing all that cleaning and with his recent arrival and journey, she HAD to be right about his need to rest.
A smirk crept across his lips. "I suppose maybe that you're right as usual"
Chelsea burst out laughing. "WOH! That's something I never heard you say before..... who are you and what have you done with the REAL Ryan Milarno?" she changed her tone to accusatory and peered at him as if she were trying to see through some imagined disguise.
"Oh he's here, just having a bit of a lapse hence being reasonable" he grinned.
"Lapse indeed if you're trying out reasonable for a new hat!" she teased with a grin, putting down her tea in apprehension of a re-run of the cushion scenario.
The comment was unfair, it was true. Ryan had as much of a reasonable, patient, kind and understanding side as anyone... perhaps more than many if the truth were known, and of course it WAS known to Chelsea of all people but it was more fun to make out he wasn't reasonable because it made him laugh. Laughter was good medicine, that was a given so, this was a medical prescription.
~nice try!~ she told herself in answer to that justification.
Ryan just sat looking at her and he couldn't help but smile."I really have missed you" his tone was warm. "Missed this" he said as he looked around but also meaning the fun, the teasing and the laughter they could always share.
"Of course you have. It's where you were the real you before you started to doubt because you had other genetics and possible histories thrust on you.
It's true that your history wasn't how you thought it was. It's also true you found the new concepts bewildering, shocking and understandably the earthquakes that all created in your universe shook loose your foundations and set you adrift but when you boil it all back down again, no matter what you didn't know about your hidden roots isn't something that can change who you've always been.
So you're now several races instead of one. So you're now someone whose early history you're barely just finding out about but for 90% of your life you were Ryan Milarno and today that' still who you are. You're still a damn good doctor. You're still my good friend. You're still Ed's good friend, and Tasha's.... and you're still a great dancer and a formidable opponent at Paris' squares and the man who developed the only vaccine that could have saved all those Bajorans from their genetic vulnerability to that P4c Virus..... There is SO much that you STILL are and so little, proportionally, that has changed.
You are Doctor Ryan Milarno, a Lieutenant in Starfleet and a good man. No-one can take any of that away from you unless you let them." Chelsea drew in a breath and stood with her hands on her hips, challenging him to deny this.
"I won't let them" he told her as he too stood up. "Thankyou, you help me a lot now, and then, it means everything" he cleared his throat. "So enough soppiness from me...any new places to try out around here?"
"The Box of Delights!" she answered without hesitation. "There's a Bokkai owner who keeps the best place around. There are Dabo tables, holosuites, every type of drink soft or hard-stuff, entertainment... also soft or ... um.... more adult.... It's on the Promenade, unmissable. Tell Yolanthe you're a friend of mine, she'll give you a good table." she smiled broadly.
"Oh, I'm impressed" he nodded. "I'll give it a try see what kind of mischief I can get up to there" he chuckled.
"Go for it." she encouraged, watching him go off with a spring in his step. It was magic to watch.
OFF
A JP Between:
Lieutenant Ryan Milarno
ACMO
and
Cmdr Chelsea Dunham
CMO & 2XO
by Commander Chelsea Dunham
Post Details
| Title | Crossroads and New Paths | |
| Mission | Things Past | |
| Author(s) | Commander Chelsea Dunham | |
| Posted | Thu Nov 08, 2012 @ 8:55pm | |
| Location | Main Sickbay | |
| Timeline | BACKPOST - SD69 |
Chelsea finished her rounds and returned to the office between that and her next task. She put her head round the door, expecting to find Ryan in the same or similar mood that she'd left him but she soon realised you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.
"Ry? What's wrong. You look like you're really upset. Too much admin?" she didn't really expect it to be the admin but she couldn't imagine what else could have happened, she'd only been gone half an hour.
Ryan didn't look up from the blank screen on the computer in front of him. He let out a loud grumble. "Nope, admin's fine, will be when I get to it anyway"
Chelsea thought better of asking why he hadn't got to it yet, judging by the dark frown on his face which was one she remembered with sensible caution.
Ryan shot up out the chair. "Your desk not mine, I'll move" and he walked away to the replicator. He rested his head against the control panel above the replicator and blew out a deep breath. "Coffee black, extra strong" he spoke quietly as he lifted his head away and stood waiting for the drink to materialise.
"Ry, I don't need the desk and you don't need another coffee. You're exhausted. Take a few hours and start again on a new shift tomorrow.. or tonight... just rest in the meantime?" she suggested gently, hoping not to have to get worried about him again so soon.
Ryan shook his head as he picked up the mug. "I'm not exhausted Chels I'm damned angry, I just had a visit from someone that I wish never walked in here" he told her as he turned to look at her finally.
"Anyone I know?" she asked carefully, still wary about what might have upset him.
"Legate Hydel Turvan ring any bells?" he asked as he raised the mug to his lips.
"Oh. I don't really think I know him but I've heard of his name. Is he something sinister along the Epsidian lines? Or am I making that up?" she looked upwards, searching her memory to try to think where she had heard that name and why.
"Yeah probably" Ryan nodded. "Started talking about how HIS government are undergoing a reclamation for all the lost sons and daughters of Cardassia" a scowl was firm over his brow and eyes as he spoke those words.
"Oh. That doesn't sound good." Chelsea shook her head, dreading what was coming next.
"No" he shook his head. "Obviously I was my usual sarcastic self, I started telling him how I don't consider Cardassia my home, to cut a long story short he got angry I got angry, he threatened me before he left that if we ever crossed paths etc etc" he explained.
"Oh Ryan, i'm sorry. It never seems to get any easier does it? You can't do right by any of these Cardassians, can you!" I was a rhetorical question and didn't need an answer. "I'm sure there must be others like you though. Ones who have had Cardassian genes thrust upon them unwanted but yet who are nice people and who want to do the right things." She wondered if this was too *blue sky and fluffy clouds* to be true but surely there had to be a white side to counter all these dark ones who Ryan had met so far?
"There are nice Cardassians...and yes I'm sure some would go back and help rebuild their world...sorry didn't mention that..." he apologised quickly and carried on. "That however is something I won't do he said I deserved to stay here and be surrounded by the fragile beings who have 'cultured' me all my life"
"Fragile? Typically unseeing of him not to realise that simply not having bones on the outside of your neck doesn't mean you're spineless." she retorted, angered by the dismissive nature of that barb which had been aimed at Ryan but which had caught at her as well.
Ryan nodded and smiled then placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Nevermind just one of those things I have to forget, sorry if I snapped" he removed his hand.
"You didn't" she replied, shrugging as he seemed to have coped with it and feeling relieved that it hadn't upset him as deeply as it might have done in the past. "This was very important progress Ry" she commented gently.
Ryan began to chuckle and he shook his head adamantly. "No, it's not. Wanna know why?" he asked as he lowered himself down onto the sofa.
"Yes" she said honestly as she walked to the replicator and got a drink for herself too.
"So... why then?" she smiled back at him, liking that he was a lot more balanced and serene. It truly *was* remarkable progress from the troubled man who had left.
"I said I felt as if something was missing and if it was Cardassia..." he bit his lip before carrying on. "That I would think about it, before it got heated but I said it that's what's bothering me, I'm not sure whether it's a step forward or a major step back"
"I'm wondering if it WERE a step back of any kind then you mightn't be so calm about it. But then again, if Cardassia is what is leaving you feeling incomplete then perhaps you DO need to take another visit and just see how it feels this time without the spectre of your father hovering over you and darkening the experience?" Chelsea offered.
"Nah" he smiled, deciding in that moment. "I'm not leaving again and besides" he began to grin. "I'm not going to let IT define me, I'm going to define IT, if that makes any sense?" he smiled at her.
"Total sense." She replied with a smile. "I'm loving that you're so much more in control of your destiny again now. It makes all the difference." she sat in the chair opposite his and sipped her tea. "So... that rest you need?" she persisted with a sheepish smile. She knew he wouldn't like the idea but she also knew he had been here half the night doing all that cleaning and with his recent arrival and journey, she HAD to be right about his need to rest.
A smirk crept across his lips. "I suppose maybe that you're right as usual"
Chelsea burst out laughing. "WOH! That's something I never heard you say before..... who are you and what have you done with the REAL Ryan Milarno?" she changed her tone to accusatory and peered at him as if she were trying to see through some imagined disguise.
"Oh he's here, just having a bit of a lapse hence being reasonable" he grinned.
"Lapse indeed if you're trying out reasonable for a new hat!" she teased with a grin, putting down her tea in apprehension of a re-run of the cushion scenario.
The comment was unfair, it was true. Ryan had as much of a reasonable, patient, kind and understanding side as anyone... perhaps more than many if the truth were known, and of course it WAS known to Chelsea of all people but it was more fun to make out he wasn't reasonable because it made him laugh. Laughter was good medicine, that was a given so, this was a medical prescription.
~nice try!~ she told herself in answer to that justification.
Ryan just sat looking at her and he couldn't help but smile."I really have missed you" his tone was warm. "Missed this" he said as he looked around but also meaning the fun, the teasing and the laughter they could always share.
"Of course you have. It's where you were the real you before you started to doubt because you had other genetics and possible histories thrust on you.
It's true that your history wasn't how you thought it was. It's also true you found the new concepts bewildering, shocking and understandably the earthquakes that all created in your universe shook loose your foundations and set you adrift but when you boil it all back down again, no matter what you didn't know about your hidden roots isn't something that can change who you've always been.
So you're now several races instead of one. So you're now someone whose early history you're barely just finding out about but for 90% of your life you were Ryan Milarno and today that' still who you are. You're still a damn good doctor. You're still my good friend. You're still Ed's good friend, and Tasha's.... and you're still a great dancer and a formidable opponent at Paris' squares and the man who developed the only vaccine that could have saved all those Bajorans from their genetic vulnerability to that P4c Virus..... There is SO much that you STILL are and so little, proportionally, that has changed.
You are Doctor Ryan Milarno, a Lieutenant in Starfleet and a good man. No-one can take any of that away from you unless you let them." Chelsea drew in a breath and stood with her hands on her hips, challenging him to deny this.
"I won't let them" he told her as he too stood up. "Thankyou, you help me a lot now, and then, it means everything" he cleared his throat. "So enough soppiness from me...any new places to try out around here?"
"The Box of Delights!" she answered without hesitation. "There's a Bokkai owner who keeps the best place around. There are Dabo tables, holosuites, every type of drink soft or hard-stuff, entertainment... also soft or ... um.... more adult.... It's on the Promenade, unmissable. Tell Yolanthe you're a friend of mine, she'll give you a good table." she smiled broadly.
"Oh, I'm impressed" he nodded. "I'll give it a try see what kind of mischief I can get up to there" he chuckled.
"Go for it." she encouraged, watching him go off with a spring in his step. It was magic to watch.
OFF
A JP Between:
Lieutenant Ryan Milarno
ACMO
and
Cmdr Chelsea Dunham
CMO & 2XO