Judgement – A moment like this
by (G) Arrain - Lieutenant Arrienye t'Merek
Post Details
::ON::
The 'date' with Lash, or rather, his reaction to it's conclusion, disturbed Kaelin to no end. Why had such a small gesture gotten to him on such a deep level? It had only been a kiss, and a rather chaste one at that. But when it happened, Kaelin felt such a rush of negativity and animosity towards the person who'd initiated it, he was in shock.
So, Kaelin found himself in front of Ai'lani's door, pressing the chime.
"One moment!" he heard over the intercom. Straightening out his shirt, he smiled when Ai'lani opened the door. The journalist smiled brightly at him, honestly happy to see him. "Hey you!" he greeted, walking over to pull Kaelin into a hug before pulling him inside. Once in Ai'lani's living room, the man took a step away from Kaelin and looked him up and down. He was still dressed in the clothes he'd gone out in. Upon his examination, Ai'lani nodded appreciatively. "Wow...you look incredible," he complemented and Kaelin grinned.
"Thank you. I thought you might want some company tonight," he said, walking up to him. Ai'lani looked up, meeting Kaelin's eyes. Something in them, something he immediately noticed was distress registered inside Ai'lani's mind. Something was wrong but the almost pleading look on Kaelin's face stopped him from asking any further questions. His friend would tell him if he needed to know.
Instead, Ai'lani smiled, nodding slightly. "Yeah I would. I can't remember the last time I spent an evening without Dominic. The place feels so...empty and bare," he admitted and Kaelin reached out, putting his hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Ai'lani reached up, resting his hand on the other man's forearm. They stood like that for a few moments, each comforting each other for unmentioned reasons before Ai'lani's eyes fell on a container Kaelin was holding, noticing it for the first time. "What's that?" he asked, motioning to it.
Kaelin smiled, holding it up to him. "Brought you your favorite," he announced. Ai'lani laughed, taking the container and opening it. Seeing the contents, he looked up at Kaelin, an eyebrow raised. "Kaelin, this is your favorite."
"Yeah, I know. But you like my favorite and I don't like yours so I thought you could pretend," Kaelin said, wondering just how lame that sounded. But, to his relief, Ai'lani laughed that sweet laugh he loved. ~Wait, what? No! Get your head out of there,~ he internally scolded himself. This was the last thing he needed after what had happened. Ai'lani walked over to the kitchen, getting them a couple of spoons before sitting down on the couch.
He patted the cushion next to him for Kaelin to take a seat, which he gladly did. Ai'lani set the opened container of flavored frozen yogurt between them and turned on the viewscreen in front of them to watch the news on FNS. They watched it in a comfortable silence, occasionally broken by a comment from one of them. As the anchor said his goodbyes, Kaelin turned to watch Ai'lani for a moment, examining his profile. Feeling his eyes on him, the journalist turned his head to meet Kaelin's eyes. He smiled, a question in his expression.
"I'm glad you're back," Kaelin told him. Ai'lani's grin turned teasing.
"What? You're glad I lost what would probably have been one of the greatest journalism opportunities I'll ever get?" he asked, though his tone was less than serious. Kaelin grinned in return and Ai'lani felt happy that it looked genuine.
"Yes," he admitted, making Ai'lani laugh out loud. "You are a very selfish man," he admitted, looking serious as he shook his head.
"Yes," Kaelin nodded, "But you like me anyway." Ai'lani turned to meet his eyes once more. "Yeah. I do," he nodded, speaking softly. Kaelin felt his heart race and fearing he might just jump Ai'lani there and then, turned his head and looked away, scooping up another mouthful of frozen yogurt. Ai'lani smiled at his friend's blush, leaning back against the couch and continuing to watch another news cast.
Another silence fell over them, the two Deltans simply enjoying the others presence. As their hands bumped accidentally above the container, Kaelin looked up at Ai'lani to catch him looking at him. The journalist smiled, dropping the spoon and taking his friend's hand. "Thank you for coming here tonight," he told him softly, taking his hand to his face and giving the inside of Kaelin's wrist a soft kiss before resting his head on the doctor's shoulder.
Kaelin smiled. "I wanted to," he just replied, resting his head back against Ai'lani's. He felt the other man sigh in contentment under him and couldn't help the feeling of how right this felt from going through him. He closed his eyes, relishing the closeness. He could feel Ai'lani's comfort through the skin contact they shared and returned it, relaxing them both. In that moment, Kaelin actually felt regret for having joined the Fleet. In moments like this, where he felt completely at ease with himself that he truly saw what he was missing by separating himself from other Deltans. All day he felt so self conscious and alone. Of course, he held no hard feeling towards any of his fellow crew members - he enjoyed their company but there was always a part of him that felt empty and struggling for that special connection with others that he could only get from other Deltans. That ease with which he could communicate his feelings and thoughts in moments where words fell short.
He'd tried letting himself go occasionally with people he felt could understand. Like with Phillip two years ago. But it hadn't ended well. Instead of Phillip actually focusing on the fact that Kaelin wanted to tell him that he really appreciated his company and friendship, all Phillip got from the experience was that Kaelin was too close and invading his mind with all these feelings. Since then, Phillip hadn't felt comfortable, despite Kaelin's efforts in keeping his distance and going so far as to subdue any chemical communication.
Since then, he wasn't even comfortable with the thought of letting himself go, even a little. But that just made him feel worse but there was no way out. No occasion where he could just get some relief, which left him frustrated and angry with himself. Tonight seemed to be his crowning 'achievement' in self-repression. He panicked over a kiss! It was horrifying.
"What are you thinking about?" Ai'lani suddenly asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. He shifted, moving his head off his shoulder to look up at him. Their eyes met, and Kaelin sighed before answering.
"My date kissed me," he told him. Ai'lani raised an eyebrow. "Really? Did you want him to?"
"No," Kaelin replied, shaking his head and looking down at his lap, where their entwined hands rested. Ai'lani didn't need to ask anything as Kaelin continued.
"I panicked and ran away. I was really upset," he admitted, not looking up at his friend. "Why?" Ai'lani asked gently.
Kaelin shook his head and shrugged his shoulder. Ai'lani nodded, looking down at their hands. "He shouldn't have kissed you against your will. It was wrong," he said.
"It was just a kiss," the younger Deltan pointed out. "But, my reaction was so....human. It...it worried me," he admitted, both to himself and to Ai'lani as the words left his mouth. "I think that's why I panicked," he said, then sighed in frustration, standing up suddenly. He needed a little space, and that feeling just caused another sense of dread to flow through him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes tighly in frustration as he tried to get a hold of himself.
Ai'lani watched him quietly before standing up and walking over to him, but didn't move to touch him. It felt odd, and he didn't know what to really do with his hands so he crossed his arms over his chest. But, then, the action and his stance seemed so foreign, he let them fall to his sides again.
Kaelin looked up at his friend's awkwardness and it did nothing to make him feel better. Instead, he reached out with his hand and Ai'lani took it, glad to be able to at least provide something. He was sure that, if anyone had asked for his reaction in this type of scenario, he would've said that he would be thrilled to be proven right about Deltans' reacting badly to Starfleet regulations. But in that moment, seeing and feeling Kaelin's distress, he didn't have the heart to do anything of the sort. To do it felt so cruel and wrong, he couldn't believe he would consider such a thing.
"Maybe you were right. Maybe I am changing," Kaelin said softly and Ai'lani frowned, going over to him. He stood in front of him and with his free hand reached up and tilted his head up to look at him.
"Don't listen to me," he told him. "I'm not the smart one, remember?" he said with a half smile. It got a small upward twitch from the corner of Kaelin's lips and Ai'lani figured that was about as much as he would get. Ai'lani sighed. "You're not changing. It just feels like you're changing because you've been around others for so long."
"I am changing," Kaelin argued gently. "I panicked over a kiss, Ai'lani. A kiss," he stated in disbelief at his own state. "It was just a peck, really."
"Well, maybe you didn't panic over the kiss. Maybe it's because of who did it. Who was it?" Ai'lani asked, knowing Kaelin would see he wasn't asking for the actual person.
"Half Risian, half Vulcan."
"Seriously? How'd that happen? Actually, never mind," Ai'lani caught himself. Those questions were irrelevant. "Don't take it seriously," he assured him. "You're just tense over your Oath. And that's perfectly fine. I mean, I could get all self-righteous, and say 'I told you so', but I'd be a complete idiot to do that. You love Starfleet, I know that. And, as much as I don't, I know that it's where you belong. You're great at what you do, and I really admire your self control. I'd never be able to do it," Ai'lani admitted as Kaelin listened and watched him carefully. "I know it's difficult for you. But, I'm here, for whatever you need," he said, offering him a supportive smile. "You're not awkward around me," he pointed out.
Kaelin stood there, thinking over everything Ai'lani had told him. He was right, he wasn't awkward around him. In fact, Ai'lani was the only person he didn't feel awkward around. He really didn't know what to say. He wasn't completely at ease, but Ai'lani's words helped. At least a little. He returned his friend's smile with a small one of his own before leaning over and wrapping his arms around Ai'lani's shoulders. He felt the other man react instantly, wrapping his own arms around Kaelin's waist and pulling him closer into a tight hug. They stayed like that for a few moments before the both pulled away a little, their arms still around each other and with small, matching smiles on their faces.
Kaelin tilted his head to the side a bit, examining Ai'lani's face for a few moments, his eyes tracing his features quietly. Ai'lani simply returned his gaze, not feeling awkward in the least, and simply let Kaelin continue as his hands caressed his friend's side idly. He saw Kaelin's gaze settle on his lips for a moment before looking back into his eyes. Understanding his intention, Ai'lani leaned in at the same time as Kaelin did.
Their lips met in the middle and Kaelin closed his eyes. The rest of the room seemed to fade as their lips pressed together and Kaelin let out a shaky sigh he wasn't even aware he'd been holding. Although it felt like an eternity before the separated, the kiss only lasted a few seconds and when they pulled away, their faces remained close, with their eyes meeting once more.
"Panicking yet?" Ai'lani asked playfully, his tone loud enough only for Kaelin to hear. The other Deltan smiled honestly for the first time that night and shook his head. Ai'lani returned the smile and they kissed again, with more confidence on Kaelin's part this time. They didn't move much, both losing themselves in the kiss and that amazing, familiar warmth that only a kiss can bring spreading in their chests. Then Kaelin felt Ai'lani's hand leave his side and gently caress his cheek before pulling away again.
"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" he asked him with a smile. Kaelin nodded. "Yeah," he agreed and and Ai'lani finally pulled away from him, causing a small shiver to go through Kaelin at the sudden lack of body heat against him.
"I'll replicate you something to wear to bed. You take a shower first while I clean up," he told him, picking up the half empty contained of dessert that was left and putting it away. Kaelin nodded and half an hour later, he stepped out of the shower to find some soft, cotton trousers set out for him. He hadn't noticed Ai'lani coming in during his shower, but his mind had been so full of thought, an earthquake would've gone unnoticed. He put them on and went into the bedroom where Ai'lani was sitting on his bed, looking through some padds. He looked up and smiled at the sight of Kaelin.
"I knew red was your color," he told him, motioning to the bottoms he'd replicated for him. Kaelin smiled and went to sit next to him, looking over at the padd his friend was holding. He was scrolling through some images. "Did you take those?" he asked.
"Yeah, I have to send them to my publisher tomorrow morning. Thought I'd double check to see if I'd sorted them right. I'm not a morning person, so I'll be useless then," he said, chuckling a bit. Kaelin smiled. Ai'lani put the padd down onto the nightstand and looked at Kaelin.
"Come on. It's been a long day," he told him, pulling the covers down and letting Kaelin slip into bed before doing so himself. He pulled the covers back over them before turning off the light.
Kaelin turned on his side, nuzzling the pillow to get comfortable. After a moment, he felt Ai'lani shift behind him before pressing himself up against his friend and wrapping his arm around his waist. Kaelin smiled, resting his hand over Ai'lani's and entwining their fingers again. "Goodnight," Ai'lani told him, giving the back of Kaelin's neck a small kiss before resting his head on the pillow.
"Goodnight."
::OFF::
Post by
Ai'lani Elley
Freelance Photojournalist
&
Ensign Kaelin Niers
Clinical pathology resident
Written by Maja
by (G) Arrain - Lieutenant Arrienye t'Merek
Post Details
| Title | A moment like this | |
| Mission | Judgement | |
| Author(s) | (G) Arrain - Lieutenant Arrienye t'Merek | |
| Posted | Sun Apr 17, 2011 @ 12:52pm | |
| Location | DS5 - Ai'lani's quarters | |
| Timeline | SD36 - 22:00 |
The 'date' with Lash, or rather, his reaction to it's conclusion, disturbed Kaelin to no end. Why had such a small gesture gotten to him on such a deep level? It had only been a kiss, and a rather chaste one at that. But when it happened, Kaelin felt such a rush of negativity and animosity towards the person who'd initiated it, he was in shock.
So, Kaelin found himself in front of Ai'lani's door, pressing the chime.
"One moment!" he heard over the intercom. Straightening out his shirt, he smiled when Ai'lani opened the door. The journalist smiled brightly at him, honestly happy to see him. "Hey you!" he greeted, walking over to pull Kaelin into a hug before pulling him inside. Once in Ai'lani's living room, the man took a step away from Kaelin and looked him up and down. He was still dressed in the clothes he'd gone out in. Upon his examination, Ai'lani nodded appreciatively. "Wow...you look incredible," he complemented and Kaelin grinned.
"Thank you. I thought you might want some company tonight," he said, walking up to him. Ai'lani looked up, meeting Kaelin's eyes. Something in them, something he immediately noticed was distress registered inside Ai'lani's mind. Something was wrong but the almost pleading look on Kaelin's face stopped him from asking any further questions. His friend would tell him if he needed to know.
Instead, Ai'lani smiled, nodding slightly. "Yeah I would. I can't remember the last time I spent an evening without Dominic. The place feels so...empty and bare," he admitted and Kaelin reached out, putting his hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Ai'lani reached up, resting his hand on the other man's forearm. They stood like that for a few moments, each comforting each other for unmentioned reasons before Ai'lani's eyes fell on a container Kaelin was holding, noticing it for the first time. "What's that?" he asked, motioning to it.
Kaelin smiled, holding it up to him. "Brought you your favorite," he announced. Ai'lani laughed, taking the container and opening it. Seeing the contents, he looked up at Kaelin, an eyebrow raised. "Kaelin, this is your favorite."
"Yeah, I know. But you like my favorite and I don't like yours so I thought you could pretend," Kaelin said, wondering just how lame that sounded. But, to his relief, Ai'lani laughed that sweet laugh he loved. ~Wait, what? No! Get your head out of there,~ he internally scolded himself. This was the last thing he needed after what had happened. Ai'lani walked over to the kitchen, getting them a couple of spoons before sitting down on the couch.
He patted the cushion next to him for Kaelin to take a seat, which he gladly did. Ai'lani set the opened container of flavored frozen yogurt between them and turned on the viewscreen in front of them to watch the news on FNS. They watched it in a comfortable silence, occasionally broken by a comment from one of them. As the anchor said his goodbyes, Kaelin turned to watch Ai'lani for a moment, examining his profile. Feeling his eyes on him, the journalist turned his head to meet Kaelin's eyes. He smiled, a question in his expression.
"I'm glad you're back," Kaelin told him. Ai'lani's grin turned teasing.
"What? You're glad I lost what would probably have been one of the greatest journalism opportunities I'll ever get?" he asked, though his tone was less than serious. Kaelin grinned in return and Ai'lani felt happy that it looked genuine.
"Yes," he admitted, making Ai'lani laugh out loud. "You are a very selfish man," he admitted, looking serious as he shook his head.
"Yes," Kaelin nodded, "But you like me anyway." Ai'lani turned to meet his eyes once more. "Yeah. I do," he nodded, speaking softly. Kaelin felt his heart race and fearing he might just jump Ai'lani there and then, turned his head and looked away, scooping up another mouthful of frozen yogurt. Ai'lani smiled at his friend's blush, leaning back against the couch and continuing to watch another news cast.
Another silence fell over them, the two Deltans simply enjoying the others presence. As their hands bumped accidentally above the container, Kaelin looked up at Ai'lani to catch him looking at him. The journalist smiled, dropping the spoon and taking his friend's hand. "Thank you for coming here tonight," he told him softly, taking his hand to his face and giving the inside of Kaelin's wrist a soft kiss before resting his head on the doctor's shoulder.
Kaelin smiled. "I wanted to," he just replied, resting his head back against Ai'lani's. He felt the other man sigh in contentment under him and couldn't help the feeling of how right this felt from going through him. He closed his eyes, relishing the closeness. He could feel Ai'lani's comfort through the skin contact they shared and returned it, relaxing them both. In that moment, Kaelin actually felt regret for having joined the Fleet. In moments like this, where he felt completely at ease with himself that he truly saw what he was missing by separating himself from other Deltans. All day he felt so self conscious and alone. Of course, he held no hard feeling towards any of his fellow crew members - he enjoyed their company but there was always a part of him that felt empty and struggling for that special connection with others that he could only get from other Deltans. That ease with which he could communicate his feelings and thoughts in moments where words fell short.
He'd tried letting himself go occasionally with people he felt could understand. Like with Phillip two years ago. But it hadn't ended well. Instead of Phillip actually focusing on the fact that Kaelin wanted to tell him that he really appreciated his company and friendship, all Phillip got from the experience was that Kaelin was too close and invading his mind with all these feelings. Since then, Phillip hadn't felt comfortable, despite Kaelin's efforts in keeping his distance and going so far as to subdue any chemical communication.
Since then, he wasn't even comfortable with the thought of letting himself go, even a little. But that just made him feel worse but there was no way out. No occasion where he could just get some relief, which left him frustrated and angry with himself. Tonight seemed to be his crowning 'achievement' in self-repression. He panicked over a kiss! It was horrifying.
"What are you thinking about?" Ai'lani suddenly asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. He shifted, moving his head off his shoulder to look up at him. Their eyes met, and Kaelin sighed before answering.
"My date kissed me," he told him. Ai'lani raised an eyebrow. "Really? Did you want him to?"
"No," Kaelin replied, shaking his head and looking down at his lap, where their entwined hands rested. Ai'lani didn't need to ask anything as Kaelin continued.
"I panicked and ran away. I was really upset," he admitted, not looking up at his friend. "Why?" Ai'lani asked gently.
Kaelin shook his head and shrugged his shoulder. Ai'lani nodded, looking down at their hands. "He shouldn't have kissed you against your will. It was wrong," he said.
"It was just a kiss," the younger Deltan pointed out. "But, my reaction was so....human. It...it worried me," he admitted, both to himself and to Ai'lani as the words left his mouth. "I think that's why I panicked," he said, then sighed in frustration, standing up suddenly. He needed a little space, and that feeling just caused another sense of dread to flow through him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes tighly in frustration as he tried to get a hold of himself.
Ai'lani watched him quietly before standing up and walking over to him, but didn't move to touch him. It felt odd, and he didn't know what to really do with his hands so he crossed his arms over his chest. But, then, the action and his stance seemed so foreign, he let them fall to his sides again.
Kaelin looked up at his friend's awkwardness and it did nothing to make him feel better. Instead, he reached out with his hand and Ai'lani took it, glad to be able to at least provide something. He was sure that, if anyone had asked for his reaction in this type of scenario, he would've said that he would be thrilled to be proven right about Deltans' reacting badly to Starfleet regulations. But in that moment, seeing and feeling Kaelin's distress, he didn't have the heart to do anything of the sort. To do it felt so cruel and wrong, he couldn't believe he would consider such a thing.
"Maybe you were right. Maybe I am changing," Kaelin said softly and Ai'lani frowned, going over to him. He stood in front of him and with his free hand reached up and tilted his head up to look at him.
"Don't listen to me," he told him. "I'm not the smart one, remember?" he said with a half smile. It got a small upward twitch from the corner of Kaelin's lips and Ai'lani figured that was about as much as he would get. Ai'lani sighed. "You're not changing. It just feels like you're changing because you've been around others for so long."
"I am changing," Kaelin argued gently. "I panicked over a kiss, Ai'lani. A kiss," he stated in disbelief at his own state. "It was just a peck, really."
"Well, maybe you didn't panic over the kiss. Maybe it's because of who did it. Who was it?" Ai'lani asked, knowing Kaelin would see he wasn't asking for the actual person.
"Half Risian, half Vulcan."
"Seriously? How'd that happen? Actually, never mind," Ai'lani caught himself. Those questions were irrelevant. "Don't take it seriously," he assured him. "You're just tense over your Oath. And that's perfectly fine. I mean, I could get all self-righteous, and say 'I told you so', but I'd be a complete idiot to do that. You love Starfleet, I know that. And, as much as I don't, I know that it's where you belong. You're great at what you do, and I really admire your self control. I'd never be able to do it," Ai'lani admitted as Kaelin listened and watched him carefully. "I know it's difficult for you. But, I'm here, for whatever you need," he said, offering him a supportive smile. "You're not awkward around me," he pointed out.
Kaelin stood there, thinking over everything Ai'lani had told him. He was right, he wasn't awkward around him. In fact, Ai'lani was the only person he didn't feel awkward around. He really didn't know what to say. He wasn't completely at ease, but Ai'lani's words helped. At least a little. He returned his friend's smile with a small one of his own before leaning over and wrapping his arms around Ai'lani's shoulders. He felt the other man react instantly, wrapping his own arms around Kaelin's waist and pulling him closer into a tight hug. They stayed like that for a few moments before the both pulled away a little, their arms still around each other and with small, matching smiles on their faces.
Kaelin tilted his head to the side a bit, examining Ai'lani's face for a few moments, his eyes tracing his features quietly. Ai'lani simply returned his gaze, not feeling awkward in the least, and simply let Kaelin continue as his hands caressed his friend's side idly. He saw Kaelin's gaze settle on his lips for a moment before looking back into his eyes. Understanding his intention, Ai'lani leaned in at the same time as Kaelin did.
Their lips met in the middle and Kaelin closed his eyes. The rest of the room seemed to fade as their lips pressed together and Kaelin let out a shaky sigh he wasn't even aware he'd been holding. Although it felt like an eternity before the separated, the kiss only lasted a few seconds and when they pulled away, their faces remained close, with their eyes meeting once more.
"Panicking yet?" Ai'lani asked playfully, his tone loud enough only for Kaelin to hear. The other Deltan smiled honestly for the first time that night and shook his head. Ai'lani returned the smile and they kissed again, with more confidence on Kaelin's part this time. They didn't move much, both losing themselves in the kiss and that amazing, familiar warmth that only a kiss can bring spreading in their chests. Then Kaelin felt Ai'lani's hand leave his side and gently caress his cheek before pulling away again.
"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" he asked him with a smile. Kaelin nodded. "Yeah," he agreed and and Ai'lani finally pulled away from him, causing a small shiver to go through Kaelin at the sudden lack of body heat against him.
"I'll replicate you something to wear to bed. You take a shower first while I clean up," he told him, picking up the half empty contained of dessert that was left and putting it away. Kaelin nodded and half an hour later, he stepped out of the shower to find some soft, cotton trousers set out for him. He hadn't noticed Ai'lani coming in during his shower, but his mind had been so full of thought, an earthquake would've gone unnoticed. He put them on and went into the bedroom where Ai'lani was sitting on his bed, looking through some padds. He looked up and smiled at the sight of Kaelin.
"I knew red was your color," he told him, motioning to the bottoms he'd replicated for him. Kaelin smiled and went to sit next to him, looking over at the padd his friend was holding. He was scrolling through some images. "Did you take those?" he asked.
"Yeah, I have to send them to my publisher tomorrow morning. Thought I'd double check to see if I'd sorted them right. I'm not a morning person, so I'll be useless then," he said, chuckling a bit. Kaelin smiled. Ai'lani put the padd down onto the nightstand and looked at Kaelin.
"Come on. It's been a long day," he told him, pulling the covers down and letting Kaelin slip into bed before doing so himself. He pulled the covers back over them before turning off the light.
Kaelin turned on his side, nuzzling the pillow to get comfortable. After a moment, he felt Ai'lani shift behind him before pressing himself up against his friend and wrapping his arm around his waist. Kaelin smiled, resting his hand over Ai'lani's and entwining their fingers again. "Goodnight," Ai'lani told him, giving the back of Kaelin's neck a small kiss before resting his head on the pillow.
"Goodnight."
::OFF::
Post by
Ai'lani Elley
Freelance Photojournalist
&
Ensign Kaelin Niers
Clinical pathology resident
Written by Maja