Judgement – A Few Hours Later
by Commander Isha t'Vaurek & (G) erie'Riov - Sub Commander Rianni Monteros-t'Khellian
Post Details
She jolted, as though the power of a warp drive had pulsed through her body. Her heart rate was fast, almost deafening in the silence and the darkness.
It was a moment or two before Isha realised that she had woken up, and that her eyes were still closed. “Lights,” she said regretting her attempt to rise, “Eisn’s fiery cu ... “ she exclaimed as she fell back on the bed. She felt as she had been hit by a house.
It really had happened, she realised. It was not a house but only R’Vek who had beaten her, and that was more than enough to do damage. He may have been under orders, he may have mended her, and held her close, but it went further than the surface and weighed upon physical and mental fractures that had been years in the making.
Where am I? Isha wondered, as she fell back against the pillows and closed her eyes, and how did I get here?
The problem was, Isha did not really recall much after the sedative took hold; she had talked, a lot, and not all of it was meaningless blabber. Some of it she had consciously decided to get out while she could claim in the future that she recalled saying no such thing ... but then everything had become blurry.
She tried again, it was not just her shoulders, but the impact throughout her body but she put the ache aside and sat on the edge of the bed her gaze caught by what she wore; a man's shirt several sizes too large for her. Beneath it, she realised she was naked, but she had no recollection of undressing, or of coming to bed.
She rolled the hem of the shirt, just over her knee between her fingertips as her gaze scanned the unfamiliar surroundings. It was a bland room.
Isha knew that she had been extremely lucky. The constellation of events put her own seemingly immense power in perspective.
R'Vek was an Admiral of the Galae and 'secondarily' a General of the Tal'Shiar. Unless she chose to apply the authority delegated to her by the Senate or by the Continuing Committee the only power she had over him was that which he granted her, a factor she had lost sight of.
Isha knew that R'Vek had been hoping all along that she would crack under the pressure and give him something that would allow him to justify throwing his orders away, equally Isha had been betting on the certainty that he would find himself unable to carry them out.
In the instant R'Vek grabbed her arm and forced her to her feet Isha knew that he was committed to his duty, and the realisation that he would hurt her if required had crushed her.
That knowledge twisted the complex bonds between them into something brittle, and if they were shattered there was nothing that could be done to repair it. Isha could not face the emptiness that banishing her cousin from her life and House would bring.
R'Vek hit her, and Isha broke.
With that somewhat moribund thought on her mind Isha got to her feet and padded across the carpet to the door.
R'Vek was sitting in the parlor alone, the lights turned off and his fifth glass of ale in his hand, his guilt immense.
Had he not had Eleni and the children to look after he might have shot himself at that moment just to be away from it all, to somehow make it all up to Isha. He had done what was considered previously impossible, he had broken Isha, but with her cries for mercy and screams of agony she had in turn broken him.
~If the Praetor fires me, I'll thank him.~ He thought back upon his words to Girard, realizing they were only a half truth, it was much more serious than that, ~No, if the Praetor fires me, I won't just thank him. I might kiss the son of a bitch.~
He turned as he heard the door open, his mood briefly lightening as he saw Isha at his door, "How are you feeling?" He asked, though he knew the answer, ~She's hurt and afraid and probably hates me, that's how.~
The light that spilled from the room behind her offered enough illumination for her to see him as Isha paused in the doorway.
"Do you often spend your evenings sitting in the dark attempting to find the bottom of a bottle?" Isha asked not answering his question. Her bare feet made no sound on the carpet as she entered the room. Isha stopped a short distance away. "May I sit?" she asked.
"Of course you may." R'Vek replied, putting his glass down, "As for this, not usually. You know I don't drink much anymore, not for the past thirty years." ~But today put me right back into it like I'd only put it down thirty seconds ago.~
"Thank you, Sir," Isha muttered as she sat on a beige armchair and curled her legs up beneath her, "and no, I don't know. I no longer know what I know," she added as she reached for a lamp and switched it on. He looked a mess, she saw in a glance.
"How are you feeling?" she asked throwing his earlier question back at him, though as she asked it she looked beyond him rather than at him.
There was really only one question that she wanted answered, and in her heart Isha already knew what the answer was; she just needed to hear it from him, but she would wait to ask it. It was an answer that she would not like.
"If you must know, I'm considering retirement." R'Vek answered honestly, "I don't like what I'm becoming since they dragged me out of obscurity." With that thought he finished his drink and poured himself another, turning to offer Isha the bottle, "Care for some?"
Isha rose and fetched herself a glass. She had no intention of drinking more than a sip, but she wanted to do something to make him feel less alone.
"Thank you," Isha said as she returned to where he was sitting.
After he had poured Isha placed her glass aside. Rather than go back to the chair she had occupied she also took his glass from between his fingers and set it on the side table next to the bottle. Then she took his hands in hers and knelt on the floor between his knees where she could look up at him.
"I don't blame you," she said sincerely as she rested back on her heels.
Seeing Isha before him like this, more like a forgiving lover than a recently beaten cousin, made R'Vek feel slightly better, but only for a second, "Thank you." He replied, "But it doesn't change anything I've done. It doesn't change the monster I've let myself become since I came back out of retirement."
"Trapped in this place, crushed in with so many aliens, no promise of a breeze or of sunlight, and the only thing to look forward to each day one's responsibilties? Who could fail to become a little twisted," she said touching his hands to her lips. "Do you wish to talk to me about it?" Isha asked.
"You know I do." R'Vek replied, his hands not yet removed from her lips, pulling away from Isha was almost impossible for him, always had been, "But I haven't got a clue what to say, save for telling you that before I will allow myself to be forced into a situation like that again I'll eat my damned disruptor."
Isha lowered his hands and let them go, allowing her own to drop into her lap. "There's one thing that I cannot get straight in my head," Isha admitted, she had thought it over again and again and again since she had entered the room and it just did not fit. "I would have understood if t'Merek had exercised her right to report me, I can't say that I would have liked it, but I would have understood."
"Yes, and had it been t'Merek I would've found a way to handle this without putting you through all of this." R'Vek replied sadly, "Had it been t'Merek I could've spoken to her and made this right without the need for higher authority to intervene. That damn Deletham, he went right over my head."
"What I do not see what Deletham stood to gain by this, he and t'Merek are not friends, as far as I know they have never spoken so I see no motive. And if I have suddenly taken it into my head to being harsh with my staff then surely reporting me would make him a target. It doesn't make sense, R'Vek," she said.
"I know it doesn't." He said, he'd spent as much time on this as she had, more in fact, since he had known before she did, "Deletham has no friends, only contacts, and no reservations, only ambitions. I think he was hoping this would be dropped in someone else's lap and you would be killed, clearing the path to your office for him."
That did not feel right either, Isha thought as she rested her head against his knee. "I don't think so," she replied, "he's Rh'vaurek's creature." Isha paused and tilted her head up again. "Do you remember that Proconsul tr'Vainlli came to Rianni's adoption?" she asked, "He never explicitly said why he had come to DS5 but he intimated that someone in my embassy had provided information to him that appeared to discredit me," she told him without going into the details of the non-conversation she and the tr'Vainlli had had.
"I remember him there, yes." R'Vek nodded, it wasn't a secret that tr'Vainlli wasn't the Tal Shiar's biggest fan in the Empire so the fact that he had never spoken to R'Vek was no cause for alarm, "Do you think it might have been Raedheol's doing? Or has Deletham been at this the entire time? And don't discount Deletham just yet, Isha. Many a dog has turned on it's master."
"I don't know. When I went back to ch'Rihan and Rh'vaurek temporarily took my place here he was somewhat reluctant to give me back my office when I returned, but I assumed that was just one of his games. If Rh'vaurek really wanted me out of the way he wouldn't hesitate to remove me," she said, knowing it to be true.
"Another reason I've never liked you being around him, Isha." R'Vek said, a statement of a known fact between them, "I know you think he loves you, but he doesn't, he can't. Rh'vaurek Raedheol only cares about furthering himself and doesn't give a damn who he has to hurt to attain his goals, you mean no more to him than I do or Rianni does." Yes, R'Vek knew all about Raedheol's 'mentoring' of Rianni, and he saw right through it.
"You're wrong about that," Isha said, she did not want this to develop into an argument just when she'd managed to get R'Vek thinking about something other than having hurt her, "he loves me in the only way he knows how, and if he can avoid me being harmed, then he will," she said. "Whatever Deletham's motivation is, its his own," she said, drawing the subject away from Rh'vaurek.
"I don't truly give a damn about his motivations." R'Vek sighed, staring up at the ceiling of his living room, "I only care about making him pay for this now."
Isha tensed slightly at the anger in his tone, "I care about his motivations. If someone is deliberately trying to discredit me, and cause me harm then I want to know why."
"Then let me have him for a few hours." R'Vek offered, retrieving and draining his drink in one motion, "He'll tell me what I want to know."
"You don't require my permission to speak with him, R'Vek," Isha replied wondering if that would be enough to ease his conscience.
"Then we'll talk in the morning." R'Vek nodded, fully planning to ruin Deletham's day, "And I'll break him by lunch time." ~If the Praetor fires me, I'll thank him.~
"May I ask you something?" Isha said.
"Of course." R'Vek answered, having a damned creeping feeling what she was going to ask.
"Had you received an order that required you to strike Rianni's mother, would you even have attempted to carry it out?" Isha knew what the answer was, and if did not give her the honest answer then Isha would probably never fully trust him again.
R'Vek couldn't believe she had actually asked him that, though he had half expected it. The question wasn't really would he have hit Eleni, the question was actually a choice; Isha wanted him to choose her or Eleni. He wanted to give her a definite answer, but he had no idea how, so he simply told the truth as he saw it, "I don't know, Isha. I don't know myself anymore, let alone what I would do in one situation or another."
He quickly poured himself another drink, which he drained just as quickly, "I don't even know who the Hell I am right now."
It was not the reply that Isha had expected.
She stared up at R'Vek for several minutes, "You mean that, don't you. You really don't know what you would do?" she said eventually. She took his hand again, the one that wasn't wrapped around the glass, and held it on his knee between hers. "You're who you always were, R'Vek," she told him gazing into his eyes.
"Really? Are you so damned sure of that?" He asked solemnly, "The man I was would never have done what I did today, my orders be damned."
Isha could not disagree with him, but she kept that thought to herself; now was not the time. "Listen to me, R'Vek, we've both been manipulated into taking actions that we would never normally countenance," she told him, "sir, if I can forgive you, then surely you can forgive yourself," she said.
"Will you please quit calling me 'Sir' Isha?" R'Vek asked, even though he figured she was probably doing it to twist the knife on him, "My name is R'Vek bloody tr'Khellian, and you are my family, and I love you dearly. I'm not your superior, nor am I with you here as the Tal Shiar, and if I had the damned thing to do over again I'd have told that Tal Shiar man who recruited me to stick it where even Vulcan's twin suns couldn't shine. So, for the love of God, stop calling me 'Sir', please!"
"I'm sorry," Isha said drawing back. Having been on the receiving end of justice a few hours earlier Isha was still wary of him. "I know who you are R'Vek, even if you do not. I will promise not to ever address you with any term of respect in the future if it pleases you," she said dryly.
"You know that's not what I meant, Isha." R'Vek sighed, she was indeed enjoying watching him suffer. He lifted the entire bottle of Ale and drained the remaining contents, "I can't stand for you to be afraid of me....." Without even really intending to he had drawn his weapon and had it in his hand, pointing downward at the floor as he reached for another bottle of any damned thing, "I know Eleni keeps some of that Greek stuff here somewhere....."
Isha blinked up at him. She was not enjoying this, the sight of her cousin's torment gave her no pleasure, she just wanted to keep him in that chair until they had worked it out, now that he had produced his disruptor, that intention strengthened.
"R'Vek, if you wish me to find you another bottle I will," she said, that was preferable to him rising to find it for himself.
"I can find it, please, sit, you're my guest." R'Vek said, trying to rise from his seat. He was drunk, damn drunk, for the first time in a very long time and could barely stand, let alone walk, but by Eisn he was going to try!
Isha got up from her knees and pressed him gently back into the chair. "I will find it for you," she insisted. There were several bottles on a table near the door. Isha grabbed the nearest, unopened and full of clear liquid, then she returned to him.
She wanted to tell him that he had had enough, but knew that he would drink it anyway, so she had to stay, and control it at least until he fell asleep. This time she did not kneel.
"Budge up, R'Vek," she said, asking for a little room on the armchair he occupied.
"Oh, of course." R'Vek agreed, moving over to allow her to sit with him, "Wow, it really has been a long time since I was in such a state. The room is actually spinning....."
"I can't believe what has happened here today." He began, his head spinning at Warp 34 or better, as he began to fumble with the disruptor in his free hand, "Maybe I should just do us all a favor and put this in my mouth......."
Isha shook her head as she opened the bottle she had brought from the other side of the room and placed it on the side table; if he wanted it, it was there for him.
She did not try to disarm him. Even in this state, he could best her and probably shoot them both by accident. Isha really did not want the end of her life to be written up as having been found dead in her cousin's lap wearing only his shirt.
"R'Vek," she said stroking his cheek, "Sometimes good men are called upon to do things they find abhorrent, and you are a good man. I need you to do what the Empire will not. "
"What is it you wish of me?" He asked, momentarily sobered by her request, "Give the word and it will be done."
For all her power Isha did not know how to. If she told R'Vek to hunt down Getal then she could not call him back and she set him about doing something that her Government had forbidden her to do.
"Not this evening, R'Vek" Isha said softly, "But I will give the word when I am ready," she said, her cheek pressed against his.
"Very well then." R'Vek replied, the booze really starting to kick in, he knew he would be out soon.
"Talk to me, R'Vek," she said, feeling the tension in him.
"Yes, we should talk." R'Vek nodded, he was very drunk and it was starting to hit him hard. He began to stroke Isha's hair with the hand his disruptor had just been in, letting the weapon fall harmlessly to the floor, "We don't talk as much as we used to. Too many secrets....."
"Too much distance. We should talk more, R'Vek," Isha said extending one slender leg and kicking the weapon far away from him as she shifted. "What do you want?" she asked raising her gaze to meet his.
"To never have to harm you, or anyone else, again." R'Vek answered, it was all he wanted, he simply didn't have it in him anymore to do these things.
"I'd hoped that you would ask something that I can grant you," she said, quite sincerely if a little vague about the implications.
He didn't answer, he didn't even blink, he didn't have a clue what to say. He just leaned forward and kissed her, not in an affectionate cousin way, but in a way that many had spoken of in hushed tones, even though they didn't know if there was any truth to any of it or just assumption.
Isha did not pull back, R'Vek had to be kept in play, and he had given her a way. Isha returned the kiss with as much ferocity as his and shifted in his lap until she straddled him.
This was wrong, and he knew it, or would have had he not been so damned drunk. They'd been here before, he and Isha, and there had been Hell for it.....
"Should I leave, R'Vek?" Isha asked, holding his face between her palms.
R'Vek really didn't know how to answer that, he was married, married to the love of his life, a woman who would be returning soon, but he didn't want Isha to leave, "Stay as long as you're comfortable." He finally said.
If he had said to her right then, let's take my ship and not stop until there's a quadrant between us and the Empire she would have gone with him, but he had not said that. He had hardly given her an answer at all.
Isha wanted to scream at him to grow a pair and get himself out from under the thumb of that damned havam concubine, she was the one making him doubt himself and his calling, but Isha did not say it. Instead she rested her hands on his shoulders and got to her feet.
"I'm going, R'vek," Isha told him then she headed in the direction of the room she had woken up in to see if she could find her own clothes, or something a little more substantial than a shirt to wear to walk home in.
"I would prefer you didn't." R'Vek said, being this close with Isha again made him desperately want her to stay, to not go away, "But, I understand."
He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. How could he? He had no idea what Isha felt like. All she wanted to do was feel safe, and for just a moment she had done that and all that was left of it was the residual burn of second hand liquer on her lips.
"I understand how angry you are at me." R'Vek continued, he truly did, even if she couldn't see that he was a hundred times more angry with himself. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, knowing it was wrong, knowing this was how it got started the first time and how much they had almost lost then, knowing that it was moments like this when he was weakest to her, "But I don't want you to go."
"I am not angry with you. I did a terrible wrong to t'Merek, but having her beaten was not it," Isha reminded him as he embraced her, making her turn back.
Isha extended her hands, she did not want to leave him there in that dishevelled state. "Come on, you'll be more comfortable," she said encouragingly. He had put her to bed and she could do the same for him. At least he'd not be discovered comatose in a chair when it came back.
"Yes, I suppose you're right." R'Vek nodded, in his drunken state he could barely stand, let alone argue, so laying down before he fell down was a pretty good idea all things considered. He obediently laid down on his bed, kicking his boots off onto the floor, "Eleni will be home soon. She's redecorating, it keeps her mind off of Rianni and Ashara's being away. I know you don't like her, but she does love Ashara, treats her no different than Rianni....."
Isha half sat, half lay on the edge of the bed supporting herself on one elbow. With her free hand she smoothed back his hair, "Whether I like her is neither here nor there, if you choose to take a human as a lover that is your business," Isha told him. She had never made a it a secret that she shared the view of the rest of the House beyond his own nuclear family and considered R'Vek's 'marriage' to be invalid, "but she has got it into her head that she is your equal. Do you really want to become a laughing stock?" she asked.
"I don't feel that I am." R'Vek said, his voice showing the drain the alcohol was having on him, "Eleni is a wonderful woman, any man would be lucky to have her. You and she have much in common......"
"People don't always say what they are really thinking," she reminded him, "and in the Empire, an alien will never be afforded rights. Oh, I'm sure those who serve under you are most understanding in your presence, but get them alone and ..." Isha really did not want to argue with him. Instead she dropped the matter and kissed his forehead in a rather more cousinly manner than the way he had kissed her.
"Things are changing, Isha." R'Vek replied, "They have to change....they have to change or the Empire....or the Empire......" He wouldn't get to finish this sentence, as he drifted off into a nice drunken sleep right in the middle, leaving Isha there alone in consciousness.
"You stupid, stupid man," she muttered resting her hand on his brow. She kissed his forehead again before she slid off the edge of the bed.
"It is not that simple and you know it," she said before she leaned down and shifted him so that if he did vomit, he would do it over the edge of the bed rather than choke himself on it.
"Sleep well, R'Vek," Isha muttered as she left the bedroom.
I should leave it, just like this, she thought which would leave him with a lot of explaining to do, something he'd probably have to do anyway to explain his comatose state. Isha sighed then snatched the bottles, one empty and one full between her fingers. She added R'Vek's empty glass and stooped for the full one she had left, before depositing them all in the replicator.
Once gone she asked for one thing, a floor length velvet coat to her own dimensions. Isha pulled it on, then she walked back to the chair and stooped to retrieve R'Vek's disruptor; that she shoved beneath her coat as she left just in case he woke up with any more ideas about how he might blot out his memory. He could have it back when he was back in control of himself.
by Commander Isha t'Vaurek & (G) erie'Riov - Sub Commander Rianni Monteros-t'Khellian
Post Details
| Title | A Few Hours Later | |
| Mission | Judgement | |
| Author(s) | Commander Isha t'Vaurek & (G) erie'Riov - Sub Commander Rianni Monteros-t'Khellian | |
| Posted | Sun Feb 13, 2011 @ 8:01pm | |
| Location | R'Vek's Quarters | |
| Timeline | SD36: 15:00 |
It was a moment or two before Isha realised that she had woken up, and that her eyes were still closed. “Lights,” she said regretting her attempt to rise, “Eisn’s fiery cu ... “ she exclaimed as she fell back on the bed. She felt as she had been hit by a house.
It really had happened, she realised. It was not a house but only R’Vek who had beaten her, and that was more than enough to do damage. He may have been under orders, he may have mended her, and held her close, but it went further than the surface and weighed upon physical and mental fractures that had been years in the making.
Where am I? Isha wondered, as she fell back against the pillows and closed her eyes, and how did I get here?
The problem was, Isha did not really recall much after the sedative took hold; she had talked, a lot, and not all of it was meaningless blabber. Some of it she had consciously decided to get out while she could claim in the future that she recalled saying no such thing ... but then everything had become blurry.
She tried again, it was not just her shoulders, but the impact throughout her body but she put the ache aside and sat on the edge of the bed her gaze caught by what she wore; a man's shirt several sizes too large for her. Beneath it, she realised she was naked, but she had no recollection of undressing, or of coming to bed.
She rolled the hem of the shirt, just over her knee between her fingertips as her gaze scanned the unfamiliar surroundings. It was a bland room.
Isha knew that she had been extremely lucky. The constellation of events put her own seemingly immense power in perspective.
R'Vek was an Admiral of the Galae and 'secondarily' a General of the Tal'Shiar. Unless she chose to apply the authority delegated to her by the Senate or by the Continuing Committee the only power she had over him was that which he granted her, a factor she had lost sight of.
Isha knew that R'Vek had been hoping all along that she would crack under the pressure and give him something that would allow him to justify throwing his orders away, equally Isha had been betting on the certainty that he would find himself unable to carry them out.
In the instant R'Vek grabbed her arm and forced her to her feet Isha knew that he was committed to his duty, and the realisation that he would hurt her if required had crushed her.
That knowledge twisted the complex bonds between them into something brittle, and if they were shattered there was nothing that could be done to repair it. Isha could not face the emptiness that banishing her cousin from her life and House would bring.
R'Vek hit her, and Isha broke.
With that somewhat moribund thought on her mind Isha got to her feet and padded across the carpet to the door.
R'Vek was sitting in the parlor alone, the lights turned off and his fifth glass of ale in his hand, his guilt immense.
Had he not had Eleni and the children to look after he might have shot himself at that moment just to be away from it all, to somehow make it all up to Isha. He had done what was considered previously impossible, he had broken Isha, but with her cries for mercy and screams of agony she had in turn broken him.
~If the Praetor fires me, I'll thank him.~ He thought back upon his words to Girard, realizing they were only a half truth, it was much more serious than that, ~No, if the Praetor fires me, I won't just thank him. I might kiss the son of a bitch.~
He turned as he heard the door open, his mood briefly lightening as he saw Isha at his door, "How are you feeling?" He asked, though he knew the answer, ~She's hurt and afraid and probably hates me, that's how.~
The light that spilled from the room behind her offered enough illumination for her to see him as Isha paused in the doorway.
"Do you often spend your evenings sitting in the dark attempting to find the bottom of a bottle?" Isha asked not answering his question. Her bare feet made no sound on the carpet as she entered the room. Isha stopped a short distance away. "May I sit?" she asked.
"Of course you may." R'Vek replied, putting his glass down, "As for this, not usually. You know I don't drink much anymore, not for the past thirty years." ~But today put me right back into it like I'd only put it down thirty seconds ago.~
"Thank you, Sir," Isha muttered as she sat on a beige armchair and curled her legs up beneath her, "and no, I don't know. I no longer know what I know," she added as she reached for a lamp and switched it on. He looked a mess, she saw in a glance.
"How are you feeling?" she asked throwing his earlier question back at him, though as she asked it she looked beyond him rather than at him.
There was really only one question that she wanted answered, and in her heart Isha already knew what the answer was; she just needed to hear it from him, but she would wait to ask it. It was an answer that she would not like.
"If you must know, I'm considering retirement." R'Vek answered honestly, "I don't like what I'm becoming since they dragged me out of obscurity." With that thought he finished his drink and poured himself another, turning to offer Isha the bottle, "Care for some?"
Isha rose and fetched herself a glass. She had no intention of drinking more than a sip, but she wanted to do something to make him feel less alone.
"Thank you," Isha said as she returned to where he was sitting.
After he had poured Isha placed her glass aside. Rather than go back to the chair she had occupied she also took his glass from between his fingers and set it on the side table next to the bottle. Then she took his hands in hers and knelt on the floor between his knees where she could look up at him.
"I don't blame you," she said sincerely as she rested back on her heels.
Seeing Isha before him like this, more like a forgiving lover than a recently beaten cousin, made R'Vek feel slightly better, but only for a second, "Thank you." He replied, "But it doesn't change anything I've done. It doesn't change the monster I've let myself become since I came back out of retirement."
"Trapped in this place, crushed in with so many aliens, no promise of a breeze or of sunlight, and the only thing to look forward to each day one's responsibilties? Who could fail to become a little twisted," she said touching his hands to her lips. "Do you wish to talk to me about it?" Isha asked.
"You know I do." R'Vek replied, his hands not yet removed from her lips, pulling away from Isha was almost impossible for him, always had been, "But I haven't got a clue what to say, save for telling you that before I will allow myself to be forced into a situation like that again I'll eat my damned disruptor."
Isha lowered his hands and let them go, allowing her own to drop into her lap. "There's one thing that I cannot get straight in my head," Isha admitted, she had thought it over again and again and again since she had entered the room and it just did not fit. "I would have understood if t'Merek had exercised her right to report me, I can't say that I would have liked it, but I would have understood."
"Yes, and had it been t'Merek I would've found a way to handle this without putting you through all of this." R'Vek replied sadly, "Had it been t'Merek I could've spoken to her and made this right without the need for higher authority to intervene. That damn Deletham, he went right over my head."
"What I do not see what Deletham stood to gain by this, he and t'Merek are not friends, as far as I know they have never spoken so I see no motive. And if I have suddenly taken it into my head to being harsh with my staff then surely reporting me would make him a target. It doesn't make sense, R'Vek," she said.
"I know it doesn't." He said, he'd spent as much time on this as she had, more in fact, since he had known before she did, "Deletham has no friends, only contacts, and no reservations, only ambitions. I think he was hoping this would be dropped in someone else's lap and you would be killed, clearing the path to your office for him."
That did not feel right either, Isha thought as she rested her head against his knee. "I don't think so," she replied, "he's Rh'vaurek's creature." Isha paused and tilted her head up again. "Do you remember that Proconsul tr'Vainlli came to Rianni's adoption?" she asked, "He never explicitly said why he had come to DS5 but he intimated that someone in my embassy had provided information to him that appeared to discredit me," she told him without going into the details of the non-conversation she and the tr'Vainlli had had.
"I remember him there, yes." R'Vek nodded, it wasn't a secret that tr'Vainlli wasn't the Tal Shiar's biggest fan in the Empire so the fact that he had never spoken to R'Vek was no cause for alarm, "Do you think it might have been Raedheol's doing? Or has Deletham been at this the entire time? And don't discount Deletham just yet, Isha. Many a dog has turned on it's master."
"I don't know. When I went back to ch'Rihan and Rh'vaurek temporarily took my place here he was somewhat reluctant to give me back my office when I returned, but I assumed that was just one of his games. If Rh'vaurek really wanted me out of the way he wouldn't hesitate to remove me," she said, knowing it to be true.
"Another reason I've never liked you being around him, Isha." R'Vek said, a statement of a known fact between them, "I know you think he loves you, but he doesn't, he can't. Rh'vaurek Raedheol only cares about furthering himself and doesn't give a damn who he has to hurt to attain his goals, you mean no more to him than I do or Rianni does." Yes, R'Vek knew all about Raedheol's 'mentoring' of Rianni, and he saw right through it.
"You're wrong about that," Isha said, she did not want this to develop into an argument just when she'd managed to get R'Vek thinking about something other than having hurt her, "he loves me in the only way he knows how, and if he can avoid me being harmed, then he will," she said. "Whatever Deletham's motivation is, its his own," she said, drawing the subject away from Rh'vaurek.
"I don't truly give a damn about his motivations." R'Vek sighed, staring up at the ceiling of his living room, "I only care about making him pay for this now."
Isha tensed slightly at the anger in his tone, "I care about his motivations. If someone is deliberately trying to discredit me, and cause me harm then I want to know why."
"Then let me have him for a few hours." R'Vek offered, retrieving and draining his drink in one motion, "He'll tell me what I want to know."
"You don't require my permission to speak with him, R'Vek," Isha replied wondering if that would be enough to ease his conscience.
"Then we'll talk in the morning." R'Vek nodded, fully planning to ruin Deletham's day, "And I'll break him by lunch time." ~If the Praetor fires me, I'll thank him.~
"May I ask you something?" Isha said.
"Of course." R'Vek answered, having a damned creeping feeling what she was going to ask.
"Had you received an order that required you to strike Rianni's mother, would you even have attempted to carry it out?" Isha knew what the answer was, and if did not give her the honest answer then Isha would probably never fully trust him again.
R'Vek couldn't believe she had actually asked him that, though he had half expected it. The question wasn't really would he have hit Eleni, the question was actually a choice; Isha wanted him to choose her or Eleni. He wanted to give her a definite answer, but he had no idea how, so he simply told the truth as he saw it, "I don't know, Isha. I don't know myself anymore, let alone what I would do in one situation or another."
He quickly poured himself another drink, which he drained just as quickly, "I don't even know who the Hell I am right now."
It was not the reply that Isha had expected.
She stared up at R'Vek for several minutes, "You mean that, don't you. You really don't know what you would do?" she said eventually. She took his hand again, the one that wasn't wrapped around the glass, and held it on his knee between hers. "You're who you always were, R'Vek," she told him gazing into his eyes.
"Really? Are you so damned sure of that?" He asked solemnly, "The man I was would never have done what I did today, my orders be damned."
Isha could not disagree with him, but she kept that thought to herself; now was not the time. "Listen to me, R'Vek, we've both been manipulated into taking actions that we would never normally countenance," she told him, "sir, if I can forgive you, then surely you can forgive yourself," she said.
"Will you please quit calling me 'Sir' Isha?" R'Vek asked, even though he figured she was probably doing it to twist the knife on him, "My name is R'Vek bloody tr'Khellian, and you are my family, and I love you dearly. I'm not your superior, nor am I with you here as the Tal Shiar, and if I had the damned thing to do over again I'd have told that Tal Shiar man who recruited me to stick it where even Vulcan's twin suns couldn't shine. So, for the love of God, stop calling me 'Sir', please!"
"I'm sorry," Isha said drawing back. Having been on the receiving end of justice a few hours earlier Isha was still wary of him. "I know who you are R'Vek, even if you do not. I will promise not to ever address you with any term of respect in the future if it pleases you," she said dryly.
"You know that's not what I meant, Isha." R'Vek sighed, she was indeed enjoying watching him suffer. He lifted the entire bottle of Ale and drained the remaining contents, "I can't stand for you to be afraid of me....." Without even really intending to he had drawn his weapon and had it in his hand, pointing downward at the floor as he reached for another bottle of any damned thing, "I know Eleni keeps some of that Greek stuff here somewhere....."
Isha blinked up at him. She was not enjoying this, the sight of her cousin's torment gave her no pleasure, she just wanted to keep him in that chair until they had worked it out, now that he had produced his disruptor, that intention strengthened.
"R'Vek, if you wish me to find you another bottle I will," she said, that was preferable to him rising to find it for himself.
"I can find it, please, sit, you're my guest." R'Vek said, trying to rise from his seat. He was drunk, damn drunk, for the first time in a very long time and could barely stand, let alone walk, but by Eisn he was going to try!
Isha got up from her knees and pressed him gently back into the chair. "I will find it for you," she insisted. There were several bottles on a table near the door. Isha grabbed the nearest, unopened and full of clear liquid, then she returned to him.
She wanted to tell him that he had had enough, but knew that he would drink it anyway, so she had to stay, and control it at least until he fell asleep. This time she did not kneel.
"Budge up, R'Vek," she said, asking for a little room on the armchair he occupied.
"Oh, of course." R'Vek agreed, moving over to allow her to sit with him, "Wow, it really has been a long time since I was in such a state. The room is actually spinning....."
"I can't believe what has happened here today." He began, his head spinning at Warp 34 or better, as he began to fumble with the disruptor in his free hand, "Maybe I should just do us all a favor and put this in my mouth......."
Isha shook her head as she opened the bottle she had brought from the other side of the room and placed it on the side table; if he wanted it, it was there for him.
She did not try to disarm him. Even in this state, he could best her and probably shoot them both by accident. Isha really did not want the end of her life to be written up as having been found dead in her cousin's lap wearing only his shirt.
"R'Vek," she said stroking his cheek, "Sometimes good men are called upon to do things they find abhorrent, and you are a good man. I need you to do what the Empire will not. "
"What is it you wish of me?" He asked, momentarily sobered by her request, "Give the word and it will be done."
For all her power Isha did not know how to. If she told R'Vek to hunt down Getal then she could not call him back and she set him about doing something that her Government had forbidden her to do.
"Not this evening, R'Vek" Isha said softly, "But I will give the word when I am ready," she said, her cheek pressed against his.
"Very well then." R'Vek replied, the booze really starting to kick in, he knew he would be out soon.
"Talk to me, R'Vek," she said, feeling the tension in him.
"Yes, we should talk." R'Vek nodded, he was very drunk and it was starting to hit him hard. He began to stroke Isha's hair with the hand his disruptor had just been in, letting the weapon fall harmlessly to the floor, "We don't talk as much as we used to. Too many secrets....."
"Too much distance. We should talk more, R'Vek," Isha said extending one slender leg and kicking the weapon far away from him as she shifted. "What do you want?" she asked raising her gaze to meet his.
"To never have to harm you, or anyone else, again." R'Vek answered, it was all he wanted, he simply didn't have it in him anymore to do these things.
"I'd hoped that you would ask something that I can grant you," she said, quite sincerely if a little vague about the implications.
He didn't answer, he didn't even blink, he didn't have a clue what to say. He just leaned forward and kissed her, not in an affectionate cousin way, but in a way that many had spoken of in hushed tones, even though they didn't know if there was any truth to any of it or just assumption.
Isha did not pull back, R'Vek had to be kept in play, and he had given her a way. Isha returned the kiss with as much ferocity as his and shifted in his lap until she straddled him.
This was wrong, and he knew it, or would have had he not been so damned drunk. They'd been here before, he and Isha, and there had been Hell for it.....
"Should I leave, R'Vek?" Isha asked, holding his face between her palms.
R'Vek really didn't know how to answer that, he was married, married to the love of his life, a woman who would be returning soon, but he didn't want Isha to leave, "Stay as long as you're comfortable." He finally said.
If he had said to her right then, let's take my ship and not stop until there's a quadrant between us and the Empire she would have gone with him, but he had not said that. He had hardly given her an answer at all.
Isha wanted to scream at him to grow a pair and get himself out from under the thumb of that damned havam concubine, she was the one making him doubt himself and his calling, but Isha did not say it. Instead she rested her hands on his shoulders and got to her feet.
"I'm going, R'vek," Isha told him then she headed in the direction of the room she had woken up in to see if she could find her own clothes, or something a little more substantial than a shirt to wear to walk home in.
"I would prefer you didn't." R'Vek said, being this close with Isha again made him desperately want her to stay, to not go away, "But, I understand."
He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. How could he? He had no idea what Isha felt like. All she wanted to do was feel safe, and for just a moment she had done that and all that was left of it was the residual burn of second hand liquer on her lips.
"I understand how angry you are at me." R'Vek continued, he truly did, even if she couldn't see that he was a hundred times more angry with himself. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, knowing it was wrong, knowing this was how it got started the first time and how much they had almost lost then, knowing that it was moments like this when he was weakest to her, "But I don't want you to go."
"I am not angry with you. I did a terrible wrong to t'Merek, but having her beaten was not it," Isha reminded him as he embraced her, making her turn back.
Isha extended her hands, she did not want to leave him there in that dishevelled state. "Come on, you'll be more comfortable," she said encouragingly. He had put her to bed and she could do the same for him. At least he'd not be discovered comatose in a chair when it came back.
"Yes, I suppose you're right." R'Vek nodded, in his drunken state he could barely stand, let alone argue, so laying down before he fell down was a pretty good idea all things considered. He obediently laid down on his bed, kicking his boots off onto the floor, "Eleni will be home soon. She's redecorating, it keeps her mind off of Rianni and Ashara's being away. I know you don't like her, but she does love Ashara, treats her no different than Rianni....."
Isha half sat, half lay on the edge of the bed supporting herself on one elbow. With her free hand she smoothed back his hair, "Whether I like her is neither here nor there, if you choose to take a human as a lover that is your business," Isha told him. She had never made a it a secret that she shared the view of the rest of the House beyond his own nuclear family and considered R'Vek's 'marriage' to be invalid, "but she has got it into her head that she is your equal. Do you really want to become a laughing stock?" she asked.
"I don't feel that I am." R'Vek said, his voice showing the drain the alcohol was having on him, "Eleni is a wonderful woman, any man would be lucky to have her. You and she have much in common......"
"People don't always say what they are really thinking," she reminded him, "and in the Empire, an alien will never be afforded rights. Oh, I'm sure those who serve under you are most understanding in your presence, but get them alone and ..." Isha really did not want to argue with him. Instead she dropped the matter and kissed his forehead in a rather more cousinly manner than the way he had kissed her.
"Things are changing, Isha." R'Vek replied, "They have to change....they have to change or the Empire....or the Empire......" He wouldn't get to finish this sentence, as he drifted off into a nice drunken sleep right in the middle, leaving Isha there alone in consciousness.
"You stupid, stupid man," she muttered resting her hand on his brow. She kissed his forehead again before she slid off the edge of the bed.
"It is not that simple and you know it," she said before she leaned down and shifted him so that if he did vomit, he would do it over the edge of the bed rather than choke himself on it.
"Sleep well, R'Vek," Isha muttered as she left the bedroom.
I should leave it, just like this, she thought which would leave him with a lot of explaining to do, something he'd probably have to do anyway to explain his comatose state. Isha sighed then snatched the bottles, one empty and one full between her fingers. She added R'Vek's empty glass and stooped for the full one she had left, before depositing them all in the replicator.
Once gone she asked for one thing, a floor length velvet coat to her own dimensions. Isha pulled it on, then she walked back to the chair and stooped to retrieve R'Vek's disruptor; that she shoved beneath her coat as she left just in case he woke up with any more ideas about how he might blot out his memory. He could have it back when he was back in control of himself.