Unity – Correspondance (pt 2)
by Lieutenant JG Petro
Post Details
OLD:
"It's not easy when you're busy." Petro said, her voice holding the forlorn feelings she felt. "So much has happened and I've no one to talk to. The new Executive Officer thinks I'm weird and, well, Gabriel’s on another hunt for guilty people." She brightened up a little at her next thought. "Oh, and I worked Tactical during the Romulan attack." She looked down at her hands again. "Dorian said I should have thought twice about it because I'm not competent."
NEW:
"Humph," Rakka grunted. "He is hardly a good judge of competence, as we both know. I hope you aren't listening to him... because you should never have to. You are one of the most competent people I know. And besides--I'm sure you think at least twice before doing anything."
Petro had to smile at that. Most times she thought more than twice about everything. "I know." She said. "You should have seen his face when I told him that he's one to talk. I don't think he's used to people standing up to him." Petro cocked her head as though listening to something. "So, do you still have that jug I got for you?" She asked, knowing how difficult it was for Rakka to drink out of normal glasses.
Rakka reached over to the other side of her desk to pick up the pitcher, which she had drank hot chocolate out of earlier today. She showed Petro. "I don't go anywhere without it."
The J'Naii smiled. "Do you remember the look on the servers face when I asked for one?" She said, recalling that dinner with a happy sigh. "Have you made any new friends?"
Rakka nodded slowly. "Well... none like you," she admitted. "Different sort of... friends. There are those who... saved my life. They are... important to me, but... like I said... they don't really understand me like you do. And then there is....” She trailed off, and was silent for several moments, thinking about Socha and wondering whether to tell Petro. She felt awkward, thinking somehow that it wouldn't be appropriate. She wasn't sure what Petro would think. But at least, she knew she could count on Petro's honesty, and Petro should be able to count on hers.
"There is also Socha," she continued shyly. "She is... well, we are... sort of... 'seeing each other'. I mean... it's sort of... an experiment, I guess. I never really knew that... two women could....” She trailed off again and shrugged, looking off screen as she had a hard time making eye contact right now.
"Oh." Petro said, not quite sure how to react to the news. She could feel herself fluster a little and there was a part of her that was disappointed but she didn't exactly know why. "That's, well, How's that going?" She asked, curious and nervous.
Rakka shrugged. "Good, I guess. She's... a little strange. But she's nice. And she thinks I'm interesting. We have to... compromise a lot... since we're pretty different... but it's nice. She's one-quarter Klingon--just enough, I think. The other day I learned... cuddling."
"Cuddling?" Petro asked, not familiar with the term. She shuddered a little at the sound of it. "Sounds awful. What it is?"
Rakka hugged her knees to her chest and considered how to answer the question. "Well... it's sort of like... hugging... but sitting down. And for an extended period of time. Socha likes touching... I don't, really. But again.... we compromise. It's nice for a little bit."
"Oh." Petro said. She looked away from the screen, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable about the conversation. She couldn't imagine Rakka cuddling with anyone. She couldn't really imagine herself cuddling with anyone. "How long?" Petro asked. She knew Rakka liked to be on the move and rarely stayed in one place for very long.
Rakka fidgeted. "Well... we only did for a few minutes. I couldn't take a lot of it." She paused, noticing her friend's increasing discomfort. "Are you... upset?" she asked softly. "Do you think... I shouldn't be with her? Because... You're still my best friend. And I care what you think."
Petro looked up. "I don't know." She said softly. "I want you to be happy." She tried to smile but the success of it was greatly lacking. "I suppose it's just a shock, I guess. To, well, I'm not sure how to say it." The truth was she didn't know what it was she wanted to say. She touched the screen as if to touch Rakka for just a moment. "I miss you." She said, a tear forming at the corner of her eye.
"I miss you too," Rakka whispered, reaching out to meet Petro's fingers on the screen. "I remember you... in that red dress. So beautiful."
Petro cocked her head to one side, the tear that had formed falling with the movement. She remembered the red dress too and the havoc that followed on the day she wore it. "I'm not beautiful." She whispered. "But thank you." She turned her head, not wanting to think about that day and the deaths that occurred.
"Isha's gone too. And Tahir." Petro said after a moment of silence. "I'm alone again." She said, her voice cracking and the tears coming more freely. "Things have gone so wrong."
Rakka's shoulders sank. She hated to see her friend upset. "I wish I could be there with you," she said softly. "I wish I could do something... to make you happy."
Petro looked up and tried to smile. "Just be happy." She whispered. "You be happy and I'll be fine."
"That's not good enough!" Rakka exclaimed. "I don't know if I'm happy--I'm not even sure I know how it feels! You can't depend on me like that. You need to be okay... on your own terms. Otherwise... how will I be okay?"
Petro smiled at her thought. "I'll be okay because you'll be okay because I'll be okay." She said. The small J'Naii couldn't understand the feelings that she was experiencing or how to express them. "I guess I've just got to sort things out, I suppose. Promise to let me know how things with you and Socha progress?"
Rakka nodded slowly, somehow disappointed with Petro's response. For some reason, she wanted to see her friend angry. "And I want to know... how you are. Always. Petro... you are so much stronger, and more capable, than you think. And I'm not saying that because you're my friend--you're my friend because those things are true. And you ARE beautiful. Don't ever suggest I would lie to you."
"You wouldn't lie." Petro said. "Not to me." She sat up straight in her chair, building confidence at Rakka's encouragement. "And you tell Socha that if she does anything to hurt you, I'll, I'll break her in three." She said, making as mean a face as she could muster. She couldn't hold it for very long before she started laughing.
Rakka felt her heart swell, and she wished she knew what it was like to laugh. "You need to work on your angry face," she teased. "But I'll be sure to pass along the message. In three."
Petro nodded. "And maybe, you know, you can come back sometime." She said. "You know, if things don't work out. I'd really like that. For you to come back."
Rakka looked at her, and then looked down. She shook her head slowly. "I couldn't go back. You were right when you said things had gone so wrong. There were many reasons for me to leave DS5. And I'm... established here now. My duty comes first." She glanced back up. "But you... you could always... request a transfer. I mean... you're clearly not happy there."
"I couldn't." Petro said. "I have a place here. A purpose. Besides, you have," She turned her head and tried not to grit her teeth but the tension in her neck showed. "Socha. It wouldn't be the same anymore." She looked back at Rakka; the hurt that she felt covered her eyes. "I was happy with you." She said. ~And you left me~ she thought. Mixed tears of anger and sadness fell from her eyes. "Now you be happy."
Rakka huffed. She was tired of this now--being told to be 'happy', when obviously Petro was refusing to say what was on her mind. "Look!" she growled, her anger coming through harshly in her tone despite Petro's tears. "I can see you're hurt, even if you can't bring yourself to tell me. I'm sorry things have changed--I'm sorry we're not together! Neither of us is happy about this now, but it's not within my power to do anything about it! I didn't want to leave you, Petro. But my foster parents are dead--murdered! Do you understand that? If I hadn't left you, it would have been your bloated corpse washing up on the beach. Would that have made you happy, Petro? For me to walk into the morgue and see you lying there dead, and have to tell the coroner, 'yes that was my friend'?"
Rakka crossed her arms. Her tone lowered. "I do have Socha now. She is not my best friend--YOU are. But at least Socha tells me how she feels. And if you would just tell me the truth when I ask you to, maybe we both wouldn't have to be miserable!" Her emotions welling up, Rakka snapped the computer console shut, cutting off the transmission.
Petro sat staring at the blank monitor. Rakka was right. She was too afraid to tell her that she didn't like the idea of Rakka being with someone else, but what could she do? What could she say? Rakka had a life of her own and she wasn't the type of person to try and make her change her mind. What she did was for the safety of Petro's life. How could she deny her that?
Perhaps, someday, she'll be able to tell her how she really feels, if she figures it out herself.
OFF:
Lt. Rakka
Chief Tactical/Security Officer
USS Pioneer
Ensign Petro
Quartermaster DS5
by Lieutenant JG Petro
Post Details
| Title | Correspondance (pt 2) | |
| Mission | Unity | |
| Author(s) | Lieutenant JG Petro | |
| Posted | Fri Jan 01, 2010 @ 9:56pm | |
| Location | Petro's Quarters | |
| Timeline | SD16 2100 |
"It's not easy when you're busy." Petro said, her voice holding the forlorn feelings she felt. "So much has happened and I've no one to talk to. The new Executive Officer thinks I'm weird and, well, Gabriel’s on another hunt for guilty people." She brightened up a little at her next thought. "Oh, and I worked Tactical during the Romulan attack." She looked down at her hands again. "Dorian said I should have thought twice about it because I'm not competent."
NEW:
"Humph," Rakka grunted. "He is hardly a good judge of competence, as we both know. I hope you aren't listening to him... because you should never have to. You are one of the most competent people I know. And besides--I'm sure you think at least twice before doing anything."
Petro had to smile at that. Most times she thought more than twice about everything. "I know." She said. "You should have seen his face when I told him that he's one to talk. I don't think he's used to people standing up to him." Petro cocked her head as though listening to something. "So, do you still have that jug I got for you?" She asked, knowing how difficult it was for Rakka to drink out of normal glasses.
Rakka reached over to the other side of her desk to pick up the pitcher, which she had drank hot chocolate out of earlier today. She showed Petro. "I don't go anywhere without it."
The J'Naii smiled. "Do you remember the look on the servers face when I asked for one?" She said, recalling that dinner with a happy sigh. "Have you made any new friends?"
Rakka nodded slowly. "Well... none like you," she admitted. "Different sort of... friends. There are those who... saved my life. They are... important to me, but... like I said... they don't really understand me like you do. And then there is....” She trailed off, and was silent for several moments, thinking about Socha and wondering whether to tell Petro. She felt awkward, thinking somehow that it wouldn't be appropriate. She wasn't sure what Petro would think. But at least, she knew she could count on Petro's honesty, and Petro should be able to count on hers.
"There is also Socha," she continued shyly. "She is... well, we are... sort of... 'seeing each other'. I mean... it's sort of... an experiment, I guess. I never really knew that... two women could....” She trailed off again and shrugged, looking off screen as she had a hard time making eye contact right now.
"Oh." Petro said, not quite sure how to react to the news. She could feel herself fluster a little and there was a part of her that was disappointed but she didn't exactly know why. "That's, well, How's that going?" She asked, curious and nervous.
Rakka shrugged. "Good, I guess. She's... a little strange. But she's nice. And she thinks I'm interesting. We have to... compromise a lot... since we're pretty different... but it's nice. She's one-quarter Klingon--just enough, I think. The other day I learned... cuddling."
"Cuddling?" Petro asked, not familiar with the term. She shuddered a little at the sound of it. "Sounds awful. What it is?"
Rakka hugged her knees to her chest and considered how to answer the question. "Well... it's sort of like... hugging... but sitting down. And for an extended period of time. Socha likes touching... I don't, really. But again.... we compromise. It's nice for a little bit."
"Oh." Petro said. She looked away from the screen, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable about the conversation. She couldn't imagine Rakka cuddling with anyone. She couldn't really imagine herself cuddling with anyone. "How long?" Petro asked. She knew Rakka liked to be on the move and rarely stayed in one place for very long.
Rakka fidgeted. "Well... we only did for a few minutes. I couldn't take a lot of it." She paused, noticing her friend's increasing discomfort. "Are you... upset?" she asked softly. "Do you think... I shouldn't be with her? Because... You're still my best friend. And I care what you think."
Petro looked up. "I don't know." She said softly. "I want you to be happy." She tried to smile but the success of it was greatly lacking. "I suppose it's just a shock, I guess. To, well, I'm not sure how to say it." The truth was she didn't know what it was she wanted to say. She touched the screen as if to touch Rakka for just a moment. "I miss you." She said, a tear forming at the corner of her eye.
"I miss you too," Rakka whispered, reaching out to meet Petro's fingers on the screen. "I remember you... in that red dress. So beautiful."
Petro cocked her head to one side, the tear that had formed falling with the movement. She remembered the red dress too and the havoc that followed on the day she wore it. "I'm not beautiful." She whispered. "But thank you." She turned her head, not wanting to think about that day and the deaths that occurred.
"Isha's gone too. And Tahir." Petro said after a moment of silence. "I'm alone again." She said, her voice cracking and the tears coming more freely. "Things have gone so wrong."
Rakka's shoulders sank. She hated to see her friend upset. "I wish I could be there with you," she said softly. "I wish I could do something... to make you happy."
Petro looked up and tried to smile. "Just be happy." She whispered. "You be happy and I'll be fine."
"That's not good enough!" Rakka exclaimed. "I don't know if I'm happy--I'm not even sure I know how it feels! You can't depend on me like that. You need to be okay... on your own terms. Otherwise... how will I be okay?"
Petro smiled at her thought. "I'll be okay because you'll be okay because I'll be okay." She said. The small J'Naii couldn't understand the feelings that she was experiencing or how to express them. "I guess I've just got to sort things out, I suppose. Promise to let me know how things with you and Socha progress?"
Rakka nodded slowly, somehow disappointed with Petro's response. For some reason, she wanted to see her friend angry. "And I want to know... how you are. Always. Petro... you are so much stronger, and more capable, than you think. And I'm not saying that because you're my friend--you're my friend because those things are true. And you ARE beautiful. Don't ever suggest I would lie to you."
"You wouldn't lie." Petro said. "Not to me." She sat up straight in her chair, building confidence at Rakka's encouragement. "And you tell Socha that if she does anything to hurt you, I'll, I'll break her in three." She said, making as mean a face as she could muster. She couldn't hold it for very long before she started laughing.
Rakka felt her heart swell, and she wished she knew what it was like to laugh. "You need to work on your angry face," she teased. "But I'll be sure to pass along the message. In three."
Petro nodded. "And maybe, you know, you can come back sometime." She said. "You know, if things don't work out. I'd really like that. For you to come back."
Rakka looked at her, and then looked down. She shook her head slowly. "I couldn't go back. You were right when you said things had gone so wrong. There were many reasons for me to leave DS5. And I'm... established here now. My duty comes first." She glanced back up. "But you... you could always... request a transfer. I mean... you're clearly not happy there."
"I couldn't." Petro said. "I have a place here. A purpose. Besides, you have," She turned her head and tried not to grit her teeth but the tension in her neck showed. "Socha. It wouldn't be the same anymore." She looked back at Rakka; the hurt that she felt covered her eyes. "I was happy with you." She said. ~And you left me~ she thought. Mixed tears of anger and sadness fell from her eyes. "Now you be happy."
Rakka huffed. She was tired of this now--being told to be 'happy', when obviously Petro was refusing to say what was on her mind. "Look!" she growled, her anger coming through harshly in her tone despite Petro's tears. "I can see you're hurt, even if you can't bring yourself to tell me. I'm sorry things have changed--I'm sorry we're not together! Neither of us is happy about this now, but it's not within my power to do anything about it! I didn't want to leave you, Petro. But my foster parents are dead--murdered! Do you understand that? If I hadn't left you, it would have been your bloated corpse washing up on the beach. Would that have made you happy, Petro? For me to walk into the morgue and see you lying there dead, and have to tell the coroner, 'yes that was my friend'?"
Rakka crossed her arms. Her tone lowered. "I do have Socha now. She is not my best friend--YOU are. But at least Socha tells me how she feels. And if you would just tell me the truth when I ask you to, maybe we both wouldn't have to be miserable!" Her emotions welling up, Rakka snapped the computer console shut, cutting off the transmission.
Petro sat staring at the blank monitor. Rakka was right. She was too afraid to tell her that she didn't like the idea of Rakka being with someone else, but what could she do? What could she say? Rakka had a life of her own and she wasn't the type of person to try and make her change her mind. What she did was for the safety of Petro's life. How could she deny her that?
Perhaps, someday, she'll be able to tell her how she really feels, if she figures it out herself.
OFF:
Lt. Rakka
Chief Tactical/Security Officer
USS Pioneer
Ensign Petro
Quartermaster DS5