Judgement – Broken friends and prodigal sons
by (G) Arrain - Lieutenant Arrienye t'Merek & Lieutenant Bridget Stapleton
Post Details
::ON::
When Kaelin walked through the doors of the Infirmary that morning and shrugged on his white lab coat, he couldn't really find himself looking forward to his first meeting with Bridget. He was in a pretty good mood overall, having spent a nice night in Ai'lani's company, but his mind kept going back to his argument with Edward, knowing that Bridget would know all about it. He stepped out of the locker room and walked up to the replicator to order his usual coffee to start the day. He'd thought of coming in just as his shift would start instead of his usual time, but decided against it, not seeing the point of giving up the blissful 30 minutes he used in the morning to get relaxed in the surroundings of the Infirmary.
He smiled at Gwen as she rushed into the place shortly after him. Taking her scarf off, she walked up to him, returning his smile before kissing his cheek hello. "Hey you!" she greeted him, looking quite pretty, he noticed, in a knee-length periwinkle blue dress.
"Hey yourself," he said back, his smile doubling as her good mood seemed to rub off on him. "You seem very happy this morning," he observes.
"Do I?" she asked, the blush creeping up on her cheeks adding to her glow.
"You do. Any special reason?" Kaelin asked.
"No, not really," she said with a casual shrug. "I'm gonna go change," Gwendolyn added, pointing to the ladies' locker room.
"Go for it," he said with a nod. As she turned, he stopped her. "Hey, I was going to ask. Are you looking forward to going on vacation next week? Did you decide where you want to go?"
"Oh yeah!" she said, "Karros 7. It's mostly jungle, but the coastline is said to be absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. It'll be really fun," she gushed.
"I'm sure it'll be lovely. Hope you have a good time."
"Thanks...Well," she began, giving a small, playful pout. "It wouldn't be ALL fun...Phillip's coming with me," Gwen explained with a giggle before turning nearly floating into the locker room. Kaelin shook his head at the door she'd disappeared behind.
How such a bubbly, fun loving girl ended up with grouchy, pain in the ass Phillip, Kaelin would never know. Deciding that thinking of that mere fact might just drive him to an aneurysm, Kaelin took another side of his coffee as the doors opened once again.
Here we go, Bridget thought, seeing Kaelin as she entered. She forced a smile to her face, and bade him an airy good morning as she strode up to the replicator.
"Morning, Bridget," Kaelin said back, sipping his coffee tentatively as he watched her quietly. He felt unsure of what to say, trying to assess her mood, but failing in his own mess of emotions to decipher hers.
"So what's on your plate today?" She asked. What she had meant was a Human colloquialism for items on a schedule. But given the conversation she'd had with Ai'lani, she was embarrassed at her poor choice of words.
"What?" Kaelin asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion at her expression.
"Sorry, Human slang," she explained with a shrug. "I was asking what you have scheduled today."
"Nothing special. Have to drop in on Pathology to make sure everything is in order and test some tissue samples from the patients in chronic care, then I have about three patients in Pediatrics that I have to do an examination of before lunch. And then another seven before I'm done for the day. Then I have to check in on Pathology again, then I'm done," he explained, knowing his schedule by heart. "What about you?"
"Well," she said, drawing the word out, "I was hoping you and Ai'lani would like to have lunch with me." She watched his face to see what his reaction would be. She figured he would guess that she and Edward had talked about what happened the previous night. But she wasn't giving in to her frustration. At least, not yet.
"I don't think Ai'lani would like to come. He's not feeling very well. But I'd love to go. To tell you the truth, I feel a little guilty about yesterday. I lied about having lunch with Ai'lani. I'm really sorry, but I had to go and find someone for something," Kaelin explained, giving her an honestly apologetic look. "I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll buy lunch today," he offered.
I'd rather you promised to eat it, she thought. "Okay, sure... Let's do that." She'd deal with the lie and apology at lunch. Then she changed the subject. "What's wrong with Ai'lani?" He hadn't mentioned being sick when she saw him the previous day.
"He feels really bad about upsetting Edward yesterday, so he's still kind of depressed today," Kaelin explained, deciding that tiptoeing around the subject of yesterday would just make the tension last longer.
"Well, maybe we should talk about that at lunch," Bridget suggested. She didn't want to get into it right before work.
"I'll ask but I doubt he'll want to go. He's still embarrassed and ashamed. Anyway, I have to get to work. We'll meet for lunch. In the meantime, I'll send him a message and we'll see if he shows up, okay?" Kaelin asked, finishing up his coffee in one long gulp before throwing the cup into the recycler. "I'll see you a few hours. Don't work too hard," he said with a smile.
"Never do," she said, letting her voice trail off as she watched Kaelin walk away.
==Replimat - 13:00 hours==
"He said he'd be here, maybe he just got tied up," Kaelin suggested as he and Bridget sat across from one another at their usual table for lunch. "I say we just order and when he gets here, he'll get whatever he wants," he added, looking absentmindedly through the menu.
"Sure, you're probably right. How about we split a pizza?" Bridget suggested, hoping to entice him to eat something.
"I'm sorry, have we met?" Kaelin asked, letting out a small laugh at the odd suggestion. "I don't think so. Pizza's a little strong for me. Maybe a vegetarian one with like barely any cheese on it, but I don't think you'd like it," he suggested before looking back down at the menu.
She grinned. "No problem, I love spinach and artichoke pizza, with a little goat cheese crumbled on the top. How do you feel about that?"
"Sure, that sounds great," Kaelin agreed, typing in the order for them. "So, as I was saying earlier, I'm really sorry I lied yesterday. But I really didn't want to explain if..."
He was cut off by someone suddenly joining them at the table. A teenage boy of about fifteen flopped down onto the seat on Kaelin's left and promptly buried his head into his folded hands on the table.
Before either doctor could react, Ai'lani appeared behind Bridget. "Hey," he greeted his two friends as he sat down next to the teenager on the only remaining seat on Kaelin's left, right next to him.
Kaelin smiled, leaning over to give his friend a kiss hello. When he got close, he noticed something odd, but didn't comment.
Bridget, for her part, could immediately notice the lack of attraction she felt for Ai'lani, which was the reason for his sudden appearance. Usually she sensed him as soon as he walked into the same room.
"Hi, Bridget," Ai'lani told her, his usual confident playfulness missing. Subdued, more precisely. "So, did you guys order yet?" Neither of the two Deltans made any mention of the lanky teenager at the table.
Bridget leaned back against her chair, looking from one Deltan to the other. Then the boy. "Alright. What are you two up to?" Her voice carried the suspicion she felt. It had to be some sort of joke they were playing at her expense, she surmised. She wouldn't put it past Ai'lani to plan something and get Kaelin to go along. That being said, she didn't think the timing of their little joke was very good. They had some serious subjects to discuss, and now wasn't the time for fooling around.
Kaelin and Ai'lani raised an identical eyebrow. "Nothing. What would be up to?" Kaelin asked, honestly confused at her assumption. He glanced over the table to look at the boy. "You alright, Dominic?" The teenager just gave a mood moan that sounded a little like 'do i look like i am?', but it was hard to tell.
"What would we be up to?" Ai'lani asked, joining his friend in the confusion at Bridget's tone.
"Dominic," she repeated softly, glancing at the boy. Okay, one mystery solved. Hormonal human teenager: check. Introductions could be made shortly; his funk wasn't likely to improve if they interrupted the deep sighing in order to observe the niceties.
Now to the second mystery: Ai'lani. She looked at him and answered the twin questions they had asked her. "I thought you were playing a childish prank. Obviously you aren't. Or, at least I don't think so anymore," she explained with a flip of the wrist, her tone tentative as if she didn't quite believe her own words. "Smart people can be pretty adept and....." she trailed off distractedly, realizing she was getting off the point. "Anyway. Is there something -- are you sick?" she asked him, resisting the urge to reach a professional hand to his forehead and check for a fever.
"No," Ai'lani said, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. He looked uncomfortable as a whole, as if he was trying to measure every one of his moves and words. It was nothing like the way Ai'lani usually acted - carefree and playful.
"He took pheromone inhibitors," Kaelin answered just as Ai'lani did, giving his friend a look that seemed to tell Ai'lani something because he shifted in his seat again. "And we're not the pranking types," the Pathologist added.
"You did?" Bridget's tone was incredulous. Her eyebrows raised dramatically one second, and then plunged in confusion. She didn't know how to feel; glad that he'd finally decided to listen to reason, or sad that the spunk he normally displayed was now deflated. "I thought you were dead-set against it," she finally said.
"Well...maybe it's for the best," Ai'lani shrugged.
"He's doing it because of Edward's reaction last night," Kaelin told her, not one to beat around the bush about such things. "But I didn't come to lunch to argue."
Neither had she. Not really.
But this changed the game plan somewhat. She'd known about the argument of course; Edward had stomped into their quarters loud enough to wake the dead. When she awoke, she found him standing in the dark in the living room, a glass of something-or-other and a bottle in his hand, and he'd bristled at her touch. They'd argued. Nothing had been resolved. And Ai'lani was once again a source of contention between them.
"Okay," she replied. "Let's eat then."
"I'm not hungry," Kaelin decided and Dominic seemed to perk up as the smell of food hit his nostrils. He looked up at Bridget, as if seeing her for the first time. Ai'lani looked over at him. "Dommy, this is Dr. Stapleton," he introduced them. "Bridget, this is my son Dominic."
"I've been dragged here at this blissful time of the morning," Dominic explained, holding out a hand to Bridget. "It's nice to meet you."
She shook his hand and was about to speak when Ai'lani addressed his son.
"It's passed noon," his father told him.
"Not on Syrell III," Dominic replied quickly.
"Here, Dommy, you can have my half, I've lost my appetite," Kaelin told him with a smile, pushing the pizza plate closer so it was between Dominic and Bridget.
"Thanks, Kay," the teenager smiled, reaching up to rub his eyes.
"Hope you don't mind goat cheese," she said to Dom, but her eyes were on Ai'lani, trying to catch his gaze about Kaelin's refusal to eat, without alerting him that they were exchanging glances.
"Nah, I'm good. Kaelin's been over at our place occasionally so I'm used to this healthy crap," Dominic assured her.
"That healthy crap is good for you," Kaelin told him as Bridget chuckled, and the two exchanged some banter. Ai'lani looked up to meet Bridget's gaze, matching her worried look. He glanced back at Kaelin.
"Come on, Kaelin, you have to eat something. Aren't you always talking about three meals a day and all that," he reminded him, for once a little happy that his pheromones were inhibited and Kaelin couldn't sense anything behind his words. The doctor rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll have a veggie sandwich. What about you?" He looked up at Ai'lani.
"I'll have a pizza with extra mushroom and pepperoni. And cheese," the other Deltan said. Kaelin rolled his eyes at the order and typed it in.
"You eat like a rabbit," Dominic told the Pathologist, already half-way through his part of the pizza.
"I do not," Kaelin argued.
"Yeah, you do. I'm surprised you're not skinnier," the boy said. Kaelin looked down at himself, obviously unamused by the comment.
Bridget saw an opening and seized upon it. "Dominic's right, Kaelin. You don't look like you're consuming enough calories. I think your color's a bit off." She didn't look at Ai'lani, but silently willed him to chime in.
"No, it isn't," Kaelin told her confidently before Ai'lani had a chance to say anything. "And my weight is perfect. I weigh 72 kilograms. That's a perfect weight for my height and build and I'm in great physical shape. So, back down, because, frankly, my calorie consumption is no one's business but mine," the Deltan told them all as the waitress brought his and Ai'lani's order.
Kaelin immediately cut his sandwich into four parts, digging the utensils in with a little more force than necessary. Ai'lani watched him carefully; he was obviously upset with them because of the sore subject. He glanced over at Dominic, who was still happily munching on his pizza and then looked at Bridget. This wasn't the time or place to push this discussion and he gave her a slight shake of his head, hoping it would discourage her from continuing this line of questioning.
She caught his head shake and frowned back at him. Lifting a piece of the veggie pizza to her mouth, she took a bite, thinking. In the silence, she considered Ai'lani's decision. Perhaps he was thinking of Dominic's presence at the table. Maybe it wouldn't be appropriate to get into a discussion like this in front of his son. If that was the reason why he was backing down, well, it did make sense. Resignedly, she put on a smile and spoke to the young man.
"So Dominic, did you have a good trip with Mister Monteros? Find any hidden treasure?" She caught Ai'lani's eye and gave a slight smile, reassuring him that she wasn't going to pursue Kaelin's eating habits today.
Dominic looked over at her, a little surprised at the question. "No. The Vulcans got there before us, so they pretty much swarmed the place. There was nothing to do, so we just came back. That's why I'm here so early," the boy explained.
"That's too bad," Kaelin said, biting into his sandwich. Beside him, Ai'lani seemed to relax at the change in subject.
"It's okay. I met Melody Harper on the trip back. She'd been visiting her mom, so we're gone meet later and go for dessert," Dominic explained, finishing his pizza and sitting back.
"That's great," Ai'lani said with a smile, giving Dominic's arm a small approving squeeze.
"Yeah, she's gorgeous. And she plays piano. And for some reason, she likes me. I really don't want to screw it up like I did with Lea. So, any advice?" the boy asked eagerly of the three adults.
"Don't look at me, that's not my field of expertise," Kaelin immediately told him.
Bridget chuckled at the irony. "Don't listen to him, Dominic. He's the handsome one of the bunch with girls hanging on his every word," she said, teasing.
Ai'lani and Dominic both let out a laugh.
Kaelin shook his head at them. "Exactly," he said, after swallowing another mouthful of his sandwich. "Unfortunately for them, I'm not interested," he said.
"Kaelin is gender exclusive to males," Ai'lani told Bridget before starting his own lunch.
She cocked her head, not remembering if Kaelin had told her such before. And then she wondered how common gender-exclusivity was among Deltans. From what she'd remembered, Deltans weren't usually gender-exclusive in their relationships. Hmmm, she thought. Food for later discussion.
Going back to Dominic's question, she asked, "So what kind of advice do you want?"
"Well, what do we talk about? Should I hold her hand? Should I kiss her? More than that?" Dominic asked.
"Not more than that," Ai'lani warned him.
"And if you do, use protection. Humans get pregnant very easily," Kaelin added. Obviously, they weren't experts on dating humans. Dominic seemed to pick up on this and turned to Bridget.
She stifled a laugh behind her napkin. "Probably best to just talk on the first date, unless you get really clear signals that she wants to kiss you. And even then..." she tilted her head with a self-deprecating smile, "Girls like guys who play hard to get. It's weird and it doesn't make sense. But a guy who holds himself back sexually somehow is more attractive to women. They'll attribute it to chivalry and respect, whatever the real motive the guy has. It'll either make her more comfortable around you knowing there isn't sexual pressure, or... if she's aggressive then it will make her hunt you. Either way, you win."
"Wow, you are one odd culture. Good luck, Dominic," Kaelin told the teenager, finishing up his lunch. Ai'lani chuckled.
"Yeah, thanks. Thank you, Bridget," Dominic told the older woman with a smile. "Well, I think I'll go take a nap before going out. I'll see you guys later then," the teenager to them, getting up. "It was really nice meeting you," he told Bridget before leaning down and giving her cheek a kiss.
Touched, Bridget smiled. "Aww, thank you sweetie."
"Bye," Ai'lani told him when Dominic kissed his father's cheek goodbye as well and gave Kaelin a small wave, which the Deltan returned.
"I'm going to go wash my hands. You guys order us some drinks," Kaelin said before wiping his hands on the napkin and going towards the restroom, leaving Ai'lani and Bridget alone.
"He's a good kid," she said, watching Dominic make his way to the exit.
"Yeah," Ai'lani nodded with a fond smile. He glanced over at the door Kaelin disappeared through. "So, did you get to speak with your boss about Kaelin?" he asked.
"I did," she said, as she raised a hand toward a nearby cocktail waitress. "Things are set up - I talked with Ben and Pia, and they said they would be glad to talk with Kaelin whenever he's ready. They also said they were available for us, too. It was something I'd asked for. You aren't obligated, of course - but I know once the proverbial puck hits the ice, I'm gonna wanna debrief with someone. I hate straining a friendship, and if Kaelin's response at lunch today is any indication, he's gonna be a real pain in the ass over this."
"Right. So, when do we speak to him?" Ai'lani asked, feeling a little anxious.
She looked him in the eye, finally. "Whenever you're ready."
The waitress took their drink orders, and when she left, Bridget added another thought. "Are you going to be in the right.... frame of mind to do this? Given the inhibitor and all, if this is your first rodeo with that chemical cocktail, you might not be in the best shape to deal with Kaelin."
"I'll be fine," Ai'lani assured her. "Besides, this is for the best, I think." He gave a small shrug. Before Bridget could say anything, Kaelin was walking back to the table. He sat down and took a sip of his drink. Glancing up between the two of them, he said: "And what are you two so glum about?"
"Kaelin, we want to talk with you about your eating habits. You only ate a quarter of your sandwich today, and that's the most I've ever seen you eat."
Kaelin nearly choked on his drink and hit his chest a few times to make sure he could breathe. "Excuse me?" he asked, unable to believe she'd just said that.
"Something is going on with you, and we're concerned about it." She glanced at Ai'lani as if to say, 'Well, don't just sit there. Say something.' She looked back at Kaelin. "We just care about you and want the best for you."
"We noticed that you haven't really been eating much. And when we make plans, you kind of have a tendency to bail on us for some reason. Yesterday you lied to Bridget and said you were with me, and you weren't, so that kind of got us thinking," Ai'lani explained, looking at his friend.
"And what genius explanation have you two come up with?" Kaelin asked, his voice tight and Ai'lani swallowed as he felt the slow burn of anger inside his friend.
"We think you might be anorexic. We just want to make sure you're okay."
"And this is how you do it? By cornering me in a restaurant," Kaelin said flatly before looking over at Bridget. "This was your idea, wasn't it?" he asked her.
"We aren't cornering you at all, Kaelin," she said. "But you have to admit, the evidence is right in front of you," she gestured at his barely-touched sandwich.
"I'm not hungry. Is that a crime now? So what if I don't eat as much as you do? I'm perfectly healthy."
"It's not a crime and you don't have to eat as much as I do. But you don't even eat half as much as I do. Or as Ai'lani does. Or as any healthy adult does."
"So, you two think I'm anorexic," Kaelin said calmly, but looked incredibly pissed and his voice was tight, only a bit of his anger seeping into it.
"Yes..." Ai'lani nodded. "Or, you're getting there fast, Kaelin," the other Deltan told him. "We just want to help you."
"And how are you going to help me?"
"By following a new eating plan, one that gets monitored at the infirmary. And by talking with a counsellor. And by not turning away from friends who love you," she added pointedly.
"And Bridget already spoke to someone, so you're all set," Ai'lani added, a little wary at how calm Kaelin seemed to be. Then, his friend's expression changed.
"Excuse me? You spoke to someone?" he asked, his voice suddenly angry.
"Yes, I did. I spoke to Ben and Pia," she admitted, wishing this piece of information hadn't come out right at the present moment. "I wanted to make sure it wasn't my imagination, and that I wasn't overreacting by being concerned about you. I also wanted to have a team set up for you, so that all you would have to do was step into the treatment plan."
"You spoke to Ben?! As in My boss? Are you two out of your minds?!" Kaelin asked them, looking incredibly distraught now. "What is wrong with you? You went to speak with my boss and told him about this before speaking to me about it?" His breathing was getting erratic. He couldn't believe this was happening. He glanced over at Ai'lani and the other Deltan leaned back, meeting Kaelin's hurt gaze. "How could you do this to me?" he asked him.
Bridget came to Ai'lani's defense, saying, "We aren't doing anything to you, Kaelin. We wanted to do this for you, as people who love you and want you to be as healthy as possible, in mind and body."
"Yeah, well, you're doing a terrible job," Kaelin told them, still obviously upset. "Because, yes, congratulations, you're right. I am anorexic," he admitted to them. "I've been anorexic for six years, and I've been in treatment for three," he explained, reaching into his pocket to pull out an information slip and put it on the table. It had an unfamiliar logo with some Deltan writing on the bottom. "I'm better now. I'm not great, but I'm not slowly killing myself like I was. The reason nobody knows is because, unlike the two of you, I actually prefer to keep my private life private, so I go to a private counselor on the base instead of a Fleet one. But thanks to you two putting your noses into other people's business, it's bound to be all over Sickbay within a week, so thanks a lot for that, really," Kaelin told them, his breathing still a bit labored, only this time he looked more hurt than angry.
"I can't believe you call yourselves my friends. We're not that close for you to just assume things and take action without talking to me. No, you two had to act self-righteous and try to 'save me' without knowing what the hell you're talking about. Don't touch me, Lani," Kaelin suddenly told his friend, who was looking incredibly shocked as he looked down at the information slip. Ai'lani took his hand back, feel very ashamed of himself all of a sudden.
"So, again, congratulations to both of you. I've never felt so humiliated in my entire life," Kaelin said, his voice breaking slightly as he tried to fight back the tears that were trying to break to the surface. He quickly typed a few numbers into the credit panel to pay for them before pushing himself up.
"And since you no doubt had the incredibly bright idea to corner me in the middle of a restaurant during the middle of my shift," the Pathologist told Bridget. "I'm leaving it up to you to tell Ben why I won't be in until tomorrow. After all, talking behind my back to him seems to be just what you're good at." Wiping away a stray tear that made its way down his cheek, Kaelin gathered up his uniform jacket and left the table, keeping up a hurried pace to the exit.
Ai'lani slumped back against his seat, burying his face in his hand.
A slow shake of her head was all Bridget could do. She had expected no less dramatic and volcanic a response from Kaelin. He had made assumption that Ben or Pia would violate the confidence in which she had spoken to them and had already projected humiliation at the hands of his coworkers. Of course neither of them would do such a thing. But in his anger, Kaelin's imagination had veered into paranoia.
She thought about what he'd said, admitting his condition and claiming to already be in a treatment plan. Given that he'd lied before, could this also be a lie, in order to throw them off the trail? Possibly, she frowned. But she didn't know whether she would follow up on it or not. There would be time to think about it when her head was clear.
Mutely she placed a compassionate hand on Ai'lani's shoulder. She hadn't forgotten his argument with Edward and the subsequent self-medication with inhibitors. Only the slightest tingling met the physical touch, and in a way it saddened her further. But now was not the time to go into that. Now was time to support him as best she could, only having the vaguest idea of what he must be feeling, but sharing the sense of rejection.
"He's telling the truth," he said quietly, sniffing lightly as he played with the information slip. "This logo is from a clinic on Delta IV, I did an article on it a few years ago," he explained. "It probably has Kaelin's information and treatment on it. Here," he said, handing her the slip, knowing she would probably have her doubts. "And I couldn't feel him lying. Only the hurt." Reaching up, Ai'lani wiped away the few tears he was shedding.
She took the slip and looked at the runes, curiously incomprehensible to her. She handed it back. "I believe you," she said. She trusted that he was telling the truth, both about the clinic, and moreso about his ability to sense whether Kaelin was being honest with them or not.
"You know him better than I do," she began, finding words to voice a persistently nagging thought. "Would he do anything drastic because of this conversation? In his hurt and anger, would he harm himself or someone else?"
"Not someone else, Kaelin wouldn't hurt a fly," Ai'lani said immediately, his voice confident in what he was saying. "And I don't think he's the type to hurt himself. He's too stubborn," he assured her. "We should leave him alone for now. I just want to crawl into a hole right now and die," he added, biting back a small sob that was slowly working its way to the surface. "You couldn't feel how angry he was. How hurt he was from what we did."
The deep sadness in his voice and the tears he shed touched her deeply. She wanted to pull his head to her chest and cradle his shoulders, as if he were a child. But she pushed the maternal instinct aside, given their very public location. "Come on, let's go," she urged, standing. Let's talk about this somewhere else." She thought of her quarters, but Edward likely wouldn't be happy about that at all. The arboretum, then.
"I don't know," Ai'lani said, standing up with her. "I don't think Edward wants me around you," he told her, adjusting his jacket as if trying to physically pull himself together, not meeting her eyes.
"He's not happy about it, no," she admitted. The fact was, he'd all but forbade her to see Ai'lani again. But she wasn't going to tell him that. Things were different, now that he was taking inhibitors. 'For the best,' he'd said. She wondered at that. It made her nearly itch to get inside his head and find out how he came to the decision to take the medication.
Blinking that aside, she said, "I have to get back to work, but would you like to have dinner? I get off my shift around 7." She didn't like leaving him in the state he was in, but that was just maternal instinct talking again.
"I can't. It's Dominic's first night back, so I think we're going to have dinner together. Just the two of us," Ai'lani explained.
"Okay," she said with a nod as they made their way toward the exit. "I still have a few minutes. Walk with me back toward Sickbay?"
"Sure..." Ai'lani nodded, walking with her quietly. "Ugh..." he groaned, rubbing his temple with his fingers. "My head hurts," he complained.
"I imagine it does. Between the emotions you're feeling - yours and Kaelin's - and the inhibitor, I bet you feel like crap." After she said it, she wished she hadn't. It wasn't a very helpful statement. Amending it, she added, "I mean, you're going through a lot right now."
"Yeah, and these damn drugs aren't helping either. Now I know why Kaelin can get so moody from time to time," he explained. "I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll get used to it," he assured her with a smile that didn't really reach his eyes, which was strange coming from Ai'lani who always seemed to have all his feeling written on his face and in his gestures.
She gave him a curious sideways glance as they walked along the crowded promenade. "I don't know. I don't recall Kaelin saying that he had problems adjusting to it, but that doesn't mean you won't," she said reasonably. But she was thinking out possible ripples of effect and thinking back to the conversation with Ben and Pia earlier that morning.
Not the least of those ripples was his relationship with Kaelin. "Do you think you two will be able to make amends after today's confrontation? You'd said that eventually Deltans always work things out. But in your relationship, he was feeding off your pheromones. Now that you won't be supplying them..." she faltered, looking for the right words. Finally she let a shrug finish the sentence for her.
"I don't know. Our relationship was odd as it was. Now I just feel like I'm not even myself anymore. I don't feel as close to Kaelin as I was. We hadn't been as close as we could've been what with him on inhibitors. Now I just feel like we're complete strangers," Ai'lani explained regrettably. "And Kaelin isn't feeding off of my pheromones. The way you put it just makes it sound like he was a parasite. And I know all you got was my explanation, but it's not something you can explain to someone who doesn't understand what it's like," he told her. "I feel like there's this enormous brick wall between us, I can't even see him anymore."
She nodded, trying to grasp what he was saying. "You're right, I did make it sound like he was a parasite, and I didn't mean it that way," she apologized. "Like you said, it's difficult to explain your relationship." She was doing her best to try to see it through his eyes, but failing miserably.
"I wish I could make it better - for both of you," she said. It made her feel impotent, being unable to comfort her friend.
"It's okay. Don't trouble yourself. I'll try to speak with Kaelin when I feel he's calmed down a little. At least I don't have to see him first thing in the morning," he added, giving her a apologetic look.
She gave him a rueful smile. "You're right about that." She wasn't looking forward to the tension Kaelin would be radiating. After a pause she said, "I'm going to talk to Ben when I get back in there. Kaelin did basically ask me to tell Ben he'd be taking the rest of the day off. I know it sounds wierd, but I owe him that. I'm probably going to go meet with Pia, too. I could use the counsel, I think." Given what was happening with Kaelin and Edward, she wondered why she hadn't thought of it before.
"Trust me, honey, we all could. It's just a matter of admitting it," Ai'lani said with a small wink. "Good luck," he told her, for once not touching her at all. In fact, he'd kept a good deal of distance between them the whole time. "And tell Edward I'm sorry about yesterday," he added.
Uh-oh, she thought. She hadn't really wanted to talk about this and had avoided the subject. It felt awkward, like she was in the middle of a tug-of-war. She gave a small sigh. "I will tell him. And I'll tell him you've started taking the inhibitor. I think that will go a long way."
They were approaching the last turn in the passageway, which would bring them to the medical unit. People were walking in both directions, and she stepped aside near a bulkhead, out of the flow of traffic. "I gotta go. But I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate the depth of effort you are making, in deciding to take the inhibitor. It means a lot to me personally."
Not having to endure the sexual arousal that he had always incited in her was quite a relief. It allowed her to experience their friendship with a clearer head, even in spite of what happened at the restaurant. That being said, she refused to consciously acknowledge the quiet but persistent thought in the back of her mind, which told her Ai'lani wasn't nearly as exotic and exciting without the sexual tension between them.
Ai'lani nodded. "Well, at least someone thinks it's a good thing," he just commented. "I'll see you," he said with a smile. "Bye."
::OFF::
A joint post by
Ensign Bridget Stapleton
Doctor (General practitioner)
Main Sickbay, DS5
and
Ensign Kaelin Niers
Pathology Resident
Main Sickbay, DS5
with
Ai'lani Elley
Freelance photojournalist
DS5
by (G) Arrain - Lieutenant Arrienye t'Merek & Lieutenant Bridget Stapleton
Post Details
| Title | Broken friends and prodigal sons | |
| Mission | Judgement | |
| Author(s) | (G) Arrain - Lieutenant Arrienye t'Merek & Lieutenant Bridget Stapleton | |
| Posted | Sun Sep 25, 2011 @ 6:35pm | |
| Location | Infirmary | |
| Timeline | SD39 - 07:20 ; 13:00hrs |
When Kaelin walked through the doors of the Infirmary that morning and shrugged on his white lab coat, he couldn't really find himself looking forward to his first meeting with Bridget. He was in a pretty good mood overall, having spent a nice night in Ai'lani's company, but his mind kept going back to his argument with Edward, knowing that Bridget would know all about it. He stepped out of the locker room and walked up to the replicator to order his usual coffee to start the day. He'd thought of coming in just as his shift would start instead of his usual time, but decided against it, not seeing the point of giving up the blissful 30 minutes he used in the morning to get relaxed in the surroundings of the Infirmary.
He smiled at Gwen as she rushed into the place shortly after him. Taking her scarf off, she walked up to him, returning his smile before kissing his cheek hello. "Hey you!" she greeted him, looking quite pretty, he noticed, in a knee-length periwinkle blue dress.
"Hey yourself," he said back, his smile doubling as her good mood seemed to rub off on him. "You seem very happy this morning," he observes.
"Do I?" she asked, the blush creeping up on her cheeks adding to her glow.
"You do. Any special reason?" Kaelin asked.
"No, not really," she said with a casual shrug. "I'm gonna go change," Gwendolyn added, pointing to the ladies' locker room.
"Go for it," he said with a nod. As she turned, he stopped her. "Hey, I was going to ask. Are you looking forward to going on vacation next week? Did you decide where you want to go?"
"Oh yeah!" she said, "Karros 7. It's mostly jungle, but the coastline is said to be absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. It'll be really fun," she gushed.
"I'm sure it'll be lovely. Hope you have a good time."
"Thanks...Well," she began, giving a small, playful pout. "It wouldn't be ALL fun...Phillip's coming with me," Gwen explained with a giggle before turning nearly floating into the locker room. Kaelin shook his head at the door she'd disappeared behind.
How such a bubbly, fun loving girl ended up with grouchy, pain in the ass Phillip, Kaelin would never know. Deciding that thinking of that mere fact might just drive him to an aneurysm, Kaelin took another side of his coffee as the doors opened once again.
Here we go, Bridget thought, seeing Kaelin as she entered. She forced a smile to her face, and bade him an airy good morning as she strode up to the replicator.
"Morning, Bridget," Kaelin said back, sipping his coffee tentatively as he watched her quietly. He felt unsure of what to say, trying to assess her mood, but failing in his own mess of emotions to decipher hers.
"So what's on your plate today?" She asked. What she had meant was a Human colloquialism for items on a schedule. But given the conversation she'd had with Ai'lani, she was embarrassed at her poor choice of words.
"What?" Kaelin asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion at her expression.
"Sorry, Human slang," she explained with a shrug. "I was asking what you have scheduled today."
"Nothing special. Have to drop in on Pathology to make sure everything is in order and test some tissue samples from the patients in chronic care, then I have about three patients in Pediatrics that I have to do an examination of before lunch. And then another seven before I'm done for the day. Then I have to check in on Pathology again, then I'm done," he explained, knowing his schedule by heart. "What about you?"
"Well," she said, drawing the word out, "I was hoping you and Ai'lani would like to have lunch with me." She watched his face to see what his reaction would be. She figured he would guess that she and Edward had talked about what happened the previous night. But she wasn't giving in to her frustration. At least, not yet.
"I don't think Ai'lani would like to come. He's not feeling very well. But I'd love to go. To tell you the truth, I feel a little guilty about yesterday. I lied about having lunch with Ai'lani. I'm really sorry, but I had to go and find someone for something," Kaelin explained, giving her an honestly apologetic look. "I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll buy lunch today," he offered.
I'd rather you promised to eat it, she thought. "Okay, sure... Let's do that." She'd deal with the lie and apology at lunch. Then she changed the subject. "What's wrong with Ai'lani?" He hadn't mentioned being sick when she saw him the previous day.
"He feels really bad about upsetting Edward yesterday, so he's still kind of depressed today," Kaelin explained, deciding that tiptoeing around the subject of yesterday would just make the tension last longer.
"Well, maybe we should talk about that at lunch," Bridget suggested. She didn't want to get into it right before work.
"I'll ask but I doubt he'll want to go. He's still embarrassed and ashamed. Anyway, I have to get to work. We'll meet for lunch. In the meantime, I'll send him a message and we'll see if he shows up, okay?" Kaelin asked, finishing up his coffee in one long gulp before throwing the cup into the recycler. "I'll see you a few hours. Don't work too hard," he said with a smile.
"Never do," she said, letting her voice trail off as she watched Kaelin walk away.
==Replimat - 13:00 hours==
"He said he'd be here, maybe he just got tied up," Kaelin suggested as he and Bridget sat across from one another at their usual table for lunch. "I say we just order and when he gets here, he'll get whatever he wants," he added, looking absentmindedly through the menu.
"Sure, you're probably right. How about we split a pizza?" Bridget suggested, hoping to entice him to eat something.
"I'm sorry, have we met?" Kaelin asked, letting out a small laugh at the odd suggestion. "I don't think so. Pizza's a little strong for me. Maybe a vegetarian one with like barely any cheese on it, but I don't think you'd like it," he suggested before looking back down at the menu.
She grinned. "No problem, I love spinach and artichoke pizza, with a little goat cheese crumbled on the top. How do you feel about that?"
"Sure, that sounds great," Kaelin agreed, typing in the order for them. "So, as I was saying earlier, I'm really sorry I lied yesterday. But I really didn't want to explain if..."
He was cut off by someone suddenly joining them at the table. A teenage boy of about fifteen flopped down onto the seat on Kaelin's left and promptly buried his head into his folded hands on the table.
Before either doctor could react, Ai'lani appeared behind Bridget. "Hey," he greeted his two friends as he sat down next to the teenager on the only remaining seat on Kaelin's left, right next to him.
Kaelin smiled, leaning over to give his friend a kiss hello. When he got close, he noticed something odd, but didn't comment.
Bridget, for her part, could immediately notice the lack of attraction she felt for Ai'lani, which was the reason for his sudden appearance. Usually she sensed him as soon as he walked into the same room.
"Hi, Bridget," Ai'lani told her, his usual confident playfulness missing. Subdued, more precisely. "So, did you guys order yet?" Neither of the two Deltans made any mention of the lanky teenager at the table.
Bridget leaned back against her chair, looking from one Deltan to the other. Then the boy. "Alright. What are you two up to?" Her voice carried the suspicion she felt. It had to be some sort of joke they were playing at her expense, she surmised. She wouldn't put it past Ai'lani to plan something and get Kaelin to go along. That being said, she didn't think the timing of their little joke was very good. They had some serious subjects to discuss, and now wasn't the time for fooling around.
Kaelin and Ai'lani raised an identical eyebrow. "Nothing. What would be up to?" Kaelin asked, honestly confused at her assumption. He glanced over the table to look at the boy. "You alright, Dominic?" The teenager just gave a mood moan that sounded a little like 'do i look like i am?', but it was hard to tell.
"What would we be up to?" Ai'lani asked, joining his friend in the confusion at Bridget's tone.
"Dominic," she repeated softly, glancing at the boy. Okay, one mystery solved. Hormonal human teenager: check. Introductions could be made shortly; his funk wasn't likely to improve if they interrupted the deep sighing in order to observe the niceties.
Now to the second mystery: Ai'lani. She looked at him and answered the twin questions they had asked her. "I thought you were playing a childish prank. Obviously you aren't. Or, at least I don't think so anymore," she explained with a flip of the wrist, her tone tentative as if she didn't quite believe her own words. "Smart people can be pretty adept and....." she trailed off distractedly, realizing she was getting off the point. "Anyway. Is there something -- are you sick?" she asked him, resisting the urge to reach a professional hand to his forehead and check for a fever.
"No," Ai'lani said, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. He looked uncomfortable as a whole, as if he was trying to measure every one of his moves and words. It was nothing like the way Ai'lani usually acted - carefree and playful.
"He took pheromone inhibitors," Kaelin answered just as Ai'lani did, giving his friend a look that seemed to tell Ai'lani something because he shifted in his seat again. "And we're not the pranking types," the Pathologist added.
"You did?" Bridget's tone was incredulous. Her eyebrows raised dramatically one second, and then plunged in confusion. She didn't know how to feel; glad that he'd finally decided to listen to reason, or sad that the spunk he normally displayed was now deflated. "I thought you were dead-set against it," she finally said.
"Well...maybe it's for the best," Ai'lani shrugged.
"He's doing it because of Edward's reaction last night," Kaelin told her, not one to beat around the bush about such things. "But I didn't come to lunch to argue."
Neither had she. Not really.
But this changed the game plan somewhat. She'd known about the argument of course; Edward had stomped into their quarters loud enough to wake the dead. When she awoke, she found him standing in the dark in the living room, a glass of something-or-other and a bottle in his hand, and he'd bristled at her touch. They'd argued. Nothing had been resolved. And Ai'lani was once again a source of contention between them.
"Okay," she replied. "Let's eat then."
"I'm not hungry," Kaelin decided and Dominic seemed to perk up as the smell of food hit his nostrils. He looked up at Bridget, as if seeing her for the first time. Ai'lani looked over at him. "Dommy, this is Dr. Stapleton," he introduced them. "Bridget, this is my son Dominic."
"I've been dragged here at this blissful time of the morning," Dominic explained, holding out a hand to Bridget. "It's nice to meet you."
She shook his hand and was about to speak when Ai'lani addressed his son.
"It's passed noon," his father told him.
"Not on Syrell III," Dominic replied quickly.
"Here, Dommy, you can have my half, I've lost my appetite," Kaelin told him with a smile, pushing the pizza plate closer so it was between Dominic and Bridget.
"Thanks, Kay," the teenager smiled, reaching up to rub his eyes.
"Hope you don't mind goat cheese," she said to Dom, but her eyes were on Ai'lani, trying to catch his gaze about Kaelin's refusal to eat, without alerting him that they were exchanging glances.
"Nah, I'm good. Kaelin's been over at our place occasionally so I'm used to this healthy crap," Dominic assured her.
"That healthy crap is good for you," Kaelin told him as Bridget chuckled, and the two exchanged some banter. Ai'lani looked up to meet Bridget's gaze, matching her worried look. He glanced back at Kaelin.
"Come on, Kaelin, you have to eat something. Aren't you always talking about three meals a day and all that," he reminded him, for once a little happy that his pheromones were inhibited and Kaelin couldn't sense anything behind his words. The doctor rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll have a veggie sandwich. What about you?" He looked up at Ai'lani.
"I'll have a pizza with extra mushroom and pepperoni. And cheese," the other Deltan said. Kaelin rolled his eyes at the order and typed it in.
"You eat like a rabbit," Dominic told the Pathologist, already half-way through his part of the pizza.
"I do not," Kaelin argued.
"Yeah, you do. I'm surprised you're not skinnier," the boy said. Kaelin looked down at himself, obviously unamused by the comment.
Bridget saw an opening and seized upon it. "Dominic's right, Kaelin. You don't look like you're consuming enough calories. I think your color's a bit off." She didn't look at Ai'lani, but silently willed him to chime in.
"No, it isn't," Kaelin told her confidently before Ai'lani had a chance to say anything. "And my weight is perfect. I weigh 72 kilograms. That's a perfect weight for my height and build and I'm in great physical shape. So, back down, because, frankly, my calorie consumption is no one's business but mine," the Deltan told them all as the waitress brought his and Ai'lani's order.
Kaelin immediately cut his sandwich into four parts, digging the utensils in with a little more force than necessary. Ai'lani watched him carefully; he was obviously upset with them because of the sore subject. He glanced over at Dominic, who was still happily munching on his pizza and then looked at Bridget. This wasn't the time or place to push this discussion and he gave her a slight shake of his head, hoping it would discourage her from continuing this line of questioning.
She caught his head shake and frowned back at him. Lifting a piece of the veggie pizza to her mouth, she took a bite, thinking. In the silence, she considered Ai'lani's decision. Perhaps he was thinking of Dominic's presence at the table. Maybe it wouldn't be appropriate to get into a discussion like this in front of his son. If that was the reason why he was backing down, well, it did make sense. Resignedly, she put on a smile and spoke to the young man.
"So Dominic, did you have a good trip with Mister Monteros? Find any hidden treasure?" She caught Ai'lani's eye and gave a slight smile, reassuring him that she wasn't going to pursue Kaelin's eating habits today.
Dominic looked over at her, a little surprised at the question. "No. The Vulcans got there before us, so they pretty much swarmed the place. There was nothing to do, so we just came back. That's why I'm here so early," the boy explained.
"That's too bad," Kaelin said, biting into his sandwich. Beside him, Ai'lani seemed to relax at the change in subject.
"It's okay. I met Melody Harper on the trip back. She'd been visiting her mom, so we're gone meet later and go for dessert," Dominic explained, finishing his pizza and sitting back.
"That's great," Ai'lani said with a smile, giving Dominic's arm a small approving squeeze.
"Yeah, she's gorgeous. And she plays piano. And for some reason, she likes me. I really don't want to screw it up like I did with Lea. So, any advice?" the boy asked eagerly of the three adults.
"Don't look at me, that's not my field of expertise," Kaelin immediately told him.
Bridget chuckled at the irony. "Don't listen to him, Dominic. He's the handsome one of the bunch with girls hanging on his every word," she said, teasing.
Ai'lani and Dominic both let out a laugh.
Kaelin shook his head at them. "Exactly," he said, after swallowing another mouthful of his sandwich. "Unfortunately for them, I'm not interested," he said.
"Kaelin is gender exclusive to males," Ai'lani told Bridget before starting his own lunch.
She cocked her head, not remembering if Kaelin had told her such before. And then she wondered how common gender-exclusivity was among Deltans. From what she'd remembered, Deltans weren't usually gender-exclusive in their relationships. Hmmm, she thought. Food for later discussion.
Going back to Dominic's question, she asked, "So what kind of advice do you want?"
"Well, what do we talk about? Should I hold her hand? Should I kiss her? More than that?" Dominic asked.
"Not more than that," Ai'lani warned him.
"And if you do, use protection. Humans get pregnant very easily," Kaelin added. Obviously, they weren't experts on dating humans. Dominic seemed to pick up on this and turned to Bridget.
She stifled a laugh behind her napkin. "Probably best to just talk on the first date, unless you get really clear signals that she wants to kiss you. And even then..." she tilted her head with a self-deprecating smile, "Girls like guys who play hard to get. It's weird and it doesn't make sense. But a guy who holds himself back sexually somehow is more attractive to women. They'll attribute it to chivalry and respect, whatever the real motive the guy has. It'll either make her more comfortable around you knowing there isn't sexual pressure, or... if she's aggressive then it will make her hunt you. Either way, you win."
"Wow, you are one odd culture. Good luck, Dominic," Kaelin told the teenager, finishing up his lunch. Ai'lani chuckled.
"Yeah, thanks. Thank you, Bridget," Dominic told the older woman with a smile. "Well, I think I'll go take a nap before going out. I'll see you guys later then," the teenager to them, getting up. "It was really nice meeting you," he told Bridget before leaning down and giving her cheek a kiss.
Touched, Bridget smiled. "Aww, thank you sweetie."
"Bye," Ai'lani told him when Dominic kissed his father's cheek goodbye as well and gave Kaelin a small wave, which the Deltan returned.
"I'm going to go wash my hands. You guys order us some drinks," Kaelin said before wiping his hands on the napkin and going towards the restroom, leaving Ai'lani and Bridget alone.
"He's a good kid," she said, watching Dominic make his way to the exit.
"Yeah," Ai'lani nodded with a fond smile. He glanced over at the door Kaelin disappeared through. "So, did you get to speak with your boss about Kaelin?" he asked.
"I did," she said, as she raised a hand toward a nearby cocktail waitress. "Things are set up - I talked with Ben and Pia, and they said they would be glad to talk with Kaelin whenever he's ready. They also said they were available for us, too. It was something I'd asked for. You aren't obligated, of course - but I know once the proverbial puck hits the ice, I'm gonna wanna debrief with someone. I hate straining a friendship, and if Kaelin's response at lunch today is any indication, he's gonna be a real pain in the ass over this."
"Right. So, when do we speak to him?" Ai'lani asked, feeling a little anxious.
She looked him in the eye, finally. "Whenever you're ready."
The waitress took their drink orders, and when she left, Bridget added another thought. "Are you going to be in the right.... frame of mind to do this? Given the inhibitor and all, if this is your first rodeo with that chemical cocktail, you might not be in the best shape to deal with Kaelin."
"I'll be fine," Ai'lani assured her. "Besides, this is for the best, I think." He gave a small shrug. Before Bridget could say anything, Kaelin was walking back to the table. He sat down and took a sip of his drink. Glancing up between the two of them, he said: "And what are you two so glum about?"
"Kaelin, we want to talk with you about your eating habits. You only ate a quarter of your sandwich today, and that's the most I've ever seen you eat."
Kaelin nearly choked on his drink and hit his chest a few times to make sure he could breathe. "Excuse me?" he asked, unable to believe she'd just said that.
"Something is going on with you, and we're concerned about it." She glanced at Ai'lani as if to say, 'Well, don't just sit there. Say something.' She looked back at Kaelin. "We just care about you and want the best for you."
"We noticed that you haven't really been eating much. And when we make plans, you kind of have a tendency to bail on us for some reason. Yesterday you lied to Bridget and said you were with me, and you weren't, so that kind of got us thinking," Ai'lani explained, looking at his friend.
"And what genius explanation have you two come up with?" Kaelin asked, his voice tight and Ai'lani swallowed as he felt the slow burn of anger inside his friend.
"We think you might be anorexic. We just want to make sure you're okay."
"And this is how you do it? By cornering me in a restaurant," Kaelin said flatly before looking over at Bridget. "This was your idea, wasn't it?" he asked her.
"We aren't cornering you at all, Kaelin," she said. "But you have to admit, the evidence is right in front of you," she gestured at his barely-touched sandwich.
"I'm not hungry. Is that a crime now? So what if I don't eat as much as you do? I'm perfectly healthy."
"It's not a crime and you don't have to eat as much as I do. But you don't even eat half as much as I do. Or as Ai'lani does. Or as any healthy adult does."
"So, you two think I'm anorexic," Kaelin said calmly, but looked incredibly pissed and his voice was tight, only a bit of his anger seeping into it.
"Yes..." Ai'lani nodded. "Or, you're getting there fast, Kaelin," the other Deltan told him. "We just want to help you."
"And how are you going to help me?"
"By following a new eating plan, one that gets monitored at the infirmary. And by talking with a counsellor. And by not turning away from friends who love you," she added pointedly.
"And Bridget already spoke to someone, so you're all set," Ai'lani added, a little wary at how calm Kaelin seemed to be. Then, his friend's expression changed.
"Excuse me? You spoke to someone?" he asked, his voice suddenly angry.
"Yes, I did. I spoke to Ben and Pia," she admitted, wishing this piece of information hadn't come out right at the present moment. "I wanted to make sure it wasn't my imagination, and that I wasn't overreacting by being concerned about you. I also wanted to have a team set up for you, so that all you would have to do was step into the treatment plan."
"You spoke to Ben?! As in My boss? Are you two out of your minds?!" Kaelin asked them, looking incredibly distraught now. "What is wrong with you? You went to speak with my boss and told him about this before speaking to me about it?" His breathing was getting erratic. He couldn't believe this was happening. He glanced over at Ai'lani and the other Deltan leaned back, meeting Kaelin's hurt gaze. "How could you do this to me?" he asked him.
Bridget came to Ai'lani's defense, saying, "We aren't doing anything to you, Kaelin. We wanted to do this for you, as people who love you and want you to be as healthy as possible, in mind and body."
"Yeah, well, you're doing a terrible job," Kaelin told them, still obviously upset. "Because, yes, congratulations, you're right. I am anorexic," he admitted to them. "I've been anorexic for six years, and I've been in treatment for three," he explained, reaching into his pocket to pull out an information slip and put it on the table. It had an unfamiliar logo with some Deltan writing on the bottom. "I'm better now. I'm not great, but I'm not slowly killing myself like I was. The reason nobody knows is because, unlike the two of you, I actually prefer to keep my private life private, so I go to a private counselor on the base instead of a Fleet one. But thanks to you two putting your noses into other people's business, it's bound to be all over Sickbay within a week, so thanks a lot for that, really," Kaelin told them, his breathing still a bit labored, only this time he looked more hurt than angry.
"I can't believe you call yourselves my friends. We're not that close for you to just assume things and take action without talking to me. No, you two had to act self-righteous and try to 'save me' without knowing what the hell you're talking about. Don't touch me, Lani," Kaelin suddenly told his friend, who was looking incredibly shocked as he looked down at the information slip. Ai'lani took his hand back, feel very ashamed of himself all of a sudden.
"So, again, congratulations to both of you. I've never felt so humiliated in my entire life," Kaelin said, his voice breaking slightly as he tried to fight back the tears that were trying to break to the surface. He quickly typed a few numbers into the credit panel to pay for them before pushing himself up.
"And since you no doubt had the incredibly bright idea to corner me in the middle of a restaurant during the middle of my shift," the Pathologist told Bridget. "I'm leaving it up to you to tell Ben why I won't be in until tomorrow. After all, talking behind my back to him seems to be just what you're good at." Wiping away a stray tear that made its way down his cheek, Kaelin gathered up his uniform jacket and left the table, keeping up a hurried pace to the exit.
Ai'lani slumped back against his seat, burying his face in his hand.
A slow shake of her head was all Bridget could do. She had expected no less dramatic and volcanic a response from Kaelin. He had made assumption that Ben or Pia would violate the confidence in which she had spoken to them and had already projected humiliation at the hands of his coworkers. Of course neither of them would do such a thing. But in his anger, Kaelin's imagination had veered into paranoia.
She thought about what he'd said, admitting his condition and claiming to already be in a treatment plan. Given that he'd lied before, could this also be a lie, in order to throw them off the trail? Possibly, she frowned. But she didn't know whether she would follow up on it or not. There would be time to think about it when her head was clear.
Mutely she placed a compassionate hand on Ai'lani's shoulder. She hadn't forgotten his argument with Edward and the subsequent self-medication with inhibitors. Only the slightest tingling met the physical touch, and in a way it saddened her further. But now was not the time to go into that. Now was time to support him as best she could, only having the vaguest idea of what he must be feeling, but sharing the sense of rejection.
"He's telling the truth," he said quietly, sniffing lightly as he played with the information slip. "This logo is from a clinic on Delta IV, I did an article on it a few years ago," he explained. "It probably has Kaelin's information and treatment on it. Here," he said, handing her the slip, knowing she would probably have her doubts. "And I couldn't feel him lying. Only the hurt." Reaching up, Ai'lani wiped away the few tears he was shedding.
She took the slip and looked at the runes, curiously incomprehensible to her. She handed it back. "I believe you," she said. She trusted that he was telling the truth, both about the clinic, and moreso about his ability to sense whether Kaelin was being honest with them or not.
"You know him better than I do," she began, finding words to voice a persistently nagging thought. "Would he do anything drastic because of this conversation? In his hurt and anger, would he harm himself or someone else?"
"Not someone else, Kaelin wouldn't hurt a fly," Ai'lani said immediately, his voice confident in what he was saying. "And I don't think he's the type to hurt himself. He's too stubborn," he assured her. "We should leave him alone for now. I just want to crawl into a hole right now and die," he added, biting back a small sob that was slowly working its way to the surface. "You couldn't feel how angry he was. How hurt he was from what we did."
The deep sadness in his voice and the tears he shed touched her deeply. She wanted to pull his head to her chest and cradle his shoulders, as if he were a child. But she pushed the maternal instinct aside, given their very public location. "Come on, let's go," she urged, standing. Let's talk about this somewhere else." She thought of her quarters, but Edward likely wouldn't be happy about that at all. The arboretum, then.
"I don't know," Ai'lani said, standing up with her. "I don't think Edward wants me around you," he told her, adjusting his jacket as if trying to physically pull himself together, not meeting her eyes.
"He's not happy about it, no," she admitted. The fact was, he'd all but forbade her to see Ai'lani again. But she wasn't going to tell him that. Things were different, now that he was taking inhibitors. 'For the best,' he'd said. She wondered at that. It made her nearly itch to get inside his head and find out how he came to the decision to take the medication.
Blinking that aside, she said, "I have to get back to work, but would you like to have dinner? I get off my shift around 7." She didn't like leaving him in the state he was in, but that was just maternal instinct talking again.
"I can't. It's Dominic's first night back, so I think we're going to have dinner together. Just the two of us," Ai'lani explained.
"Okay," she said with a nod as they made their way toward the exit. "I still have a few minutes. Walk with me back toward Sickbay?"
"Sure..." Ai'lani nodded, walking with her quietly. "Ugh..." he groaned, rubbing his temple with his fingers. "My head hurts," he complained.
"I imagine it does. Between the emotions you're feeling - yours and Kaelin's - and the inhibitor, I bet you feel like crap." After she said it, she wished she hadn't. It wasn't a very helpful statement. Amending it, she added, "I mean, you're going through a lot right now."
"Yeah, and these damn drugs aren't helping either. Now I know why Kaelin can get so moody from time to time," he explained. "I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll get used to it," he assured her with a smile that didn't really reach his eyes, which was strange coming from Ai'lani who always seemed to have all his feeling written on his face and in his gestures.
She gave him a curious sideways glance as they walked along the crowded promenade. "I don't know. I don't recall Kaelin saying that he had problems adjusting to it, but that doesn't mean you won't," she said reasonably. But she was thinking out possible ripples of effect and thinking back to the conversation with Ben and Pia earlier that morning.
Not the least of those ripples was his relationship with Kaelin. "Do you think you two will be able to make amends after today's confrontation? You'd said that eventually Deltans always work things out. But in your relationship, he was feeding off your pheromones. Now that you won't be supplying them..." she faltered, looking for the right words. Finally she let a shrug finish the sentence for her.
"I don't know. Our relationship was odd as it was. Now I just feel like I'm not even myself anymore. I don't feel as close to Kaelin as I was. We hadn't been as close as we could've been what with him on inhibitors. Now I just feel like we're complete strangers," Ai'lani explained regrettably. "And Kaelin isn't feeding off of my pheromones. The way you put it just makes it sound like he was a parasite. And I know all you got was my explanation, but it's not something you can explain to someone who doesn't understand what it's like," he told her. "I feel like there's this enormous brick wall between us, I can't even see him anymore."
She nodded, trying to grasp what he was saying. "You're right, I did make it sound like he was a parasite, and I didn't mean it that way," she apologized. "Like you said, it's difficult to explain your relationship." She was doing her best to try to see it through his eyes, but failing miserably.
"I wish I could make it better - for both of you," she said. It made her feel impotent, being unable to comfort her friend.
"It's okay. Don't trouble yourself. I'll try to speak with Kaelin when I feel he's calmed down a little. At least I don't have to see him first thing in the morning," he added, giving her a apologetic look.
She gave him a rueful smile. "You're right about that." She wasn't looking forward to the tension Kaelin would be radiating. After a pause she said, "I'm going to talk to Ben when I get back in there. Kaelin did basically ask me to tell Ben he'd be taking the rest of the day off. I know it sounds wierd, but I owe him that. I'm probably going to go meet with Pia, too. I could use the counsel, I think." Given what was happening with Kaelin and Edward, she wondered why she hadn't thought of it before.
"Trust me, honey, we all could. It's just a matter of admitting it," Ai'lani said with a small wink. "Good luck," he told her, for once not touching her at all. In fact, he'd kept a good deal of distance between them the whole time. "And tell Edward I'm sorry about yesterday," he added.
Uh-oh, she thought. She hadn't really wanted to talk about this and had avoided the subject. It felt awkward, like she was in the middle of a tug-of-war. She gave a small sigh. "I will tell him. And I'll tell him you've started taking the inhibitor. I think that will go a long way."
They were approaching the last turn in the passageway, which would bring them to the medical unit. People were walking in both directions, and she stepped aside near a bulkhead, out of the flow of traffic. "I gotta go. But I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate the depth of effort you are making, in deciding to take the inhibitor. It means a lot to me personally."
Not having to endure the sexual arousal that he had always incited in her was quite a relief. It allowed her to experience their friendship with a clearer head, even in spite of what happened at the restaurant. That being said, she refused to consciously acknowledge the quiet but persistent thought in the back of her mind, which told her Ai'lani wasn't nearly as exotic and exciting without the sexual tension between them.
Ai'lani nodded. "Well, at least someone thinks it's a good thing," he just commented. "I'll see you," he said with a smile. "Bye."
::OFF::
A joint post by
Ensign Bridget Stapleton
Doctor (General practitioner)
Main Sickbay, DS5
and
Ensign Kaelin Niers
Pathology Resident
Main Sickbay, DS5
with
Ai'lani Elley
Freelance photojournalist
DS5