Unity – Making Amends
by Lieutenant JG Petro
Post Details
ON:
Rakka sat in her quarters staring at her computer and feeling hollow. She had alienated everyone in her life in the course of a single day, but she was beginning to think there was one relationship worth salvaging. She couldn't go on any longer knowing her dear Petro was upset. Even if she was unable to maintain even a single friendship, she could still try to do what she could to make the little J'Naii feel better... if there was actually anything she could do.
Taking a deep breath, she opened a channel to Deep Space Five.
Petro sat in her quarters, exhausted from the days events. She was glad that she hadn't tried to intervene in some of the 'discussions' but that didn't keep her from having to run around doing inventories personally and making sure that everyone on the station had what they needed and, if she could provide it, what they wanted.
She sat up when her console beeped. A personal transmission was coming through for her on a secure channel. She was curious as to who might be calling her. She was sure that her insignificant existance didn't mean much to anyone. It certainly hadn't to Rakka, and she was her best friend. Was being the operative word. Now she had Sasha or Sarah or whatever her name was. Petro could feel the vile bitterness building inside of her. She accepted the call to be put through and sat back, half disinterested in whatever the call may be about. Probably a wrong number, she thought.
Rakka stared at the screen as Petro's face appeared, looking less happy to see her than she was accustomed.
"I'm... sorry," she said hoarsely, without greeting. "For everything that happened between us the other day. Whatever it was. I'm just... sorry. And I want you not to be upset."
Petro folder her arms across her chest. "Why shouldn't I be upset?" She asked. "I miss you but you made it feel like a crime. Then you go to this Satchel person and, well - " She huffed at the thought of it. "It hurt." She said, her voice cracking. "It hurt."
Rakka let out a small sigh and hung her head a little. "Well... I still don't know why me being close to someone should offend you, but... you got your way. Socha decided she didn't want to be with me anymore." She swallowed back a lump. "I'm a terrible friend, and apparently an even worse... more-than-friend. I'm alone again, and it seems that's the way it's meant to be. Does that make you feel better?"
Petro shook her head. "No." She said, upset now. "You're not a terrible friend and I wanted you to be happy. I did. I still do." She clarified. "I wasn't offended because you were close. I was," she stopped, looking for the right word. "Jealous."
Rakka blinked. "Jealous of... who?"
"I don't know." Petro replied, shaking her head. "Of you. Of Socha. You for having someone and Socha, I guess, because she was with you." She leaned forward, trying to find a middle ground between the anger she felt and the groaning that ached in her heart.
Rakka looked down, then shook her head slowly. "Well... there really is nothing to be... jealous of. She wasn't happy with me. And I just feel... worse... for having gone through the experience. It... hurts... more than I want it to."
"What do you mean?" Petro asked. "What happened?" She sat up and clenched her jaw. "What did she do to you?"
Rakka sniffed. "She was good to me. And she made me think I loved her. I feel so stupid. She let me down nicely, I guess. Said we... wanted different things, and... we weren't meant to last. She's happy now, and... laughing with her friends, like nothing ever happened... while I feel like I got my insides torn out. I think... I think she just... wanted someone pretty. And someone who could... kiss her. And she just didn't want to tell me the truth."
"Well, she could have had the guts to tell you that." Petro said. "I'm sorry it didn't work out." She sat back, more relaxed than she had been at the start. "Any idea when you might be coming by the station? It would be good to see you again. I haven't been swimming since you left."
"I don't know," Rakka replied distractedly, her head still hanging. "We're pretty... far afield... and just getting a new mission underway. I... I do miss you. I've never gone swimming with anyone else." She looked up at the screen. "I've practically ruined all the friendships I've made here. I don't really know how to be a friend. I mess things up a lot, and I'm not sure how much patience I have to even keep trying to fix them. People seem to have all these expectations and obligations in mind about friends, and they never make them clear because it's somehow assumed everyone already knows what a friend is supposed to be like. I just don't get it sometimes. But... that was never a problem with us, was it? Maybe we were always something a little... different... than friends."
Petro smiled. "We were different. Anyone would tell you that." The soberness in Rakka's words hit home. She wasn't sure what a friend was supposed to be either, at least according to the things she had seen in so many people who called themselves friends. "I think they're just superficial." She said after some thought. "You and I aren't very good at being that way."
"Well... we can hardly afford to be," Rakka sighed. "Neither of us really fits in anywhere. Except when we're... together."
"Which we're not anymore." Petro pointed out, biting her lip at the tone in her voice. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't blame you. I should blame your father. He better hope I don't meet him. I'd give him a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OUU-WA! And I'd kick him too."
The last thing Rakka wanted to think about was what would happen if her father and her little Petro were to meet. Still, she couldn't help but feel warmed at the sentiment. "Thanks for having my back," she whispered.
Petro remembered the first time she had heard that phrase. It was a couple of marines that were planning some sort of game on the beach. The one said to the other 'I got your back'. She watched them play and noticed that whenever one was out of position, the other would be there to take his place. They watched out for each other and Petro concluded that that was what the phrase meant.
"You'd have my back if things were the other way around." She said. "I know you would."
"Always..." Rakka replied. "And if you ever met someone... special... that you wanted to... be close with... I would want you to... not be lonely." Rakka cringed inwardly--she had wanted to express the sentiment, but hated how stupid it sounded coming out.
Petro nodded, not sure how she felt about it herself. "I suppose it would be a while before anything like that might happen. But thank you." She said.
"Thank you for calling back." Petro said. "I hated the way we left things."
Rakka nodded. "Me too. Quarrelling is... not for us. You mean too much to me."
"And you to me." Petro replied.
OFF:
Ensign Petro
Quartermaster
DS5
&
Lt. Rakka
Chief Sec/Tac
USS Pioneer
by Lieutenant JG Petro
Post Details
| Title | Making Amends | |
| Mission | Unity | |
| Author(s) | Lieutenant JG Petro | |
| Posted | Wed Jan 13, 2010 @ 1:18am | |
| Location | Petro's Quarters | |
| Timeline | Evening |
Rakka sat in her quarters staring at her computer and feeling hollow. She had alienated everyone in her life in the course of a single day, but she was beginning to think there was one relationship worth salvaging. She couldn't go on any longer knowing her dear Petro was upset. Even if she was unable to maintain even a single friendship, she could still try to do what she could to make the little J'Naii feel better... if there was actually anything she could do.
Taking a deep breath, she opened a channel to Deep Space Five.
Petro sat in her quarters, exhausted from the days events. She was glad that she hadn't tried to intervene in some of the 'discussions' but that didn't keep her from having to run around doing inventories personally and making sure that everyone on the station had what they needed and, if she could provide it, what they wanted.
She sat up when her console beeped. A personal transmission was coming through for her on a secure channel. She was curious as to who might be calling her. She was sure that her insignificant existance didn't mean much to anyone. It certainly hadn't to Rakka, and she was her best friend. Was being the operative word. Now she had Sasha or Sarah or whatever her name was. Petro could feel the vile bitterness building inside of her. She accepted the call to be put through and sat back, half disinterested in whatever the call may be about. Probably a wrong number, she thought.
Rakka stared at the screen as Petro's face appeared, looking less happy to see her than she was accustomed.
"I'm... sorry," she said hoarsely, without greeting. "For everything that happened between us the other day. Whatever it was. I'm just... sorry. And I want you not to be upset."
Petro folder her arms across her chest. "Why shouldn't I be upset?" She asked. "I miss you but you made it feel like a crime. Then you go to this Satchel person and, well - " She huffed at the thought of it. "It hurt." She said, her voice cracking. "It hurt."
Rakka let out a small sigh and hung her head a little. "Well... I still don't know why me being close to someone should offend you, but... you got your way. Socha decided she didn't want to be with me anymore." She swallowed back a lump. "I'm a terrible friend, and apparently an even worse... more-than-friend. I'm alone again, and it seems that's the way it's meant to be. Does that make you feel better?"
Petro shook her head. "No." She said, upset now. "You're not a terrible friend and I wanted you to be happy. I did. I still do." She clarified. "I wasn't offended because you were close. I was," she stopped, looking for the right word. "Jealous."
Rakka blinked. "Jealous of... who?"
"I don't know." Petro replied, shaking her head. "Of you. Of Socha. You for having someone and Socha, I guess, because she was with you." She leaned forward, trying to find a middle ground between the anger she felt and the groaning that ached in her heart.
Rakka looked down, then shook her head slowly. "Well... there really is nothing to be... jealous of. She wasn't happy with me. And I just feel... worse... for having gone through the experience. It... hurts... more than I want it to."
"What do you mean?" Petro asked. "What happened?" She sat up and clenched her jaw. "What did she do to you?"
Rakka sniffed. "She was good to me. And she made me think I loved her. I feel so stupid. She let me down nicely, I guess. Said we... wanted different things, and... we weren't meant to last. She's happy now, and... laughing with her friends, like nothing ever happened... while I feel like I got my insides torn out. I think... I think she just... wanted someone pretty. And someone who could... kiss her. And she just didn't want to tell me the truth."
"Well, she could have had the guts to tell you that." Petro said. "I'm sorry it didn't work out." She sat back, more relaxed than she had been at the start. "Any idea when you might be coming by the station? It would be good to see you again. I haven't been swimming since you left."
"I don't know," Rakka replied distractedly, her head still hanging. "We're pretty... far afield... and just getting a new mission underway. I... I do miss you. I've never gone swimming with anyone else." She looked up at the screen. "I've practically ruined all the friendships I've made here. I don't really know how to be a friend. I mess things up a lot, and I'm not sure how much patience I have to even keep trying to fix them. People seem to have all these expectations and obligations in mind about friends, and they never make them clear because it's somehow assumed everyone already knows what a friend is supposed to be like. I just don't get it sometimes. But... that was never a problem with us, was it? Maybe we were always something a little... different... than friends."
Petro smiled. "We were different. Anyone would tell you that." The soberness in Rakka's words hit home. She wasn't sure what a friend was supposed to be either, at least according to the things she had seen in so many people who called themselves friends. "I think they're just superficial." She said after some thought. "You and I aren't very good at being that way."
"Well... we can hardly afford to be," Rakka sighed. "Neither of us really fits in anywhere. Except when we're... together."
"Which we're not anymore." Petro pointed out, biting her lip at the tone in her voice. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't blame you. I should blame your father. He better hope I don't meet him. I'd give him a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OUU-WA! And I'd kick him too."
The last thing Rakka wanted to think about was what would happen if her father and her little Petro were to meet. Still, she couldn't help but feel warmed at the sentiment. "Thanks for having my back," she whispered.
Petro remembered the first time she had heard that phrase. It was a couple of marines that were planning some sort of game on the beach. The one said to the other 'I got your back'. She watched them play and noticed that whenever one was out of position, the other would be there to take his place. They watched out for each other and Petro concluded that that was what the phrase meant.
"You'd have my back if things were the other way around." She said. "I know you would."
"Always..." Rakka replied. "And if you ever met someone... special... that you wanted to... be close with... I would want you to... not be lonely." Rakka cringed inwardly--she had wanted to express the sentiment, but hated how stupid it sounded coming out.
Petro nodded, not sure how she felt about it herself. "I suppose it would be a while before anything like that might happen. But thank you." She said.
"Thank you for calling back." Petro said. "I hated the way we left things."
Rakka nodded. "Me too. Quarrelling is... not for us. You mean too much to me."
"And you to me." Petro replied.
OFF:
Ensign Petro
Quartermaster
DS5
&
Lt. Rakka
Chief Sec/Tac
USS Pioneer