Interlude – Sorrow
by Lieutenant Jana Kasikova & Commander Chelsea Dunham
Post Details
ON:
Jana sat at her desk completely dumbfounded. Her close friend...her best friend was gone. She stared at the screen for a long time, replaying the conversation she had had with Melanie's CO. Jana refused to let any of her friends in the department see her cry. She checked the computer to see where Ben was and left her department walking as fast as her legs would carry her without trying to look like she was rushing anywhere.
She rang the the chime at Ben's quarters and waited for him to answer. Once he opened the door she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him, finally allowing herself to cry.
Ben was taken aback but he just stepped back so the door closed behind her and allowed his arms to envelop her, holding her close until she stopped sobbing. He kissed her hair gently and swept it back from her forehead, kissing that too.
"Heyyyyyy" he murmoured gently. "What's the matter, baby? What happened? Did you tell me it's all over and i died of a broken heart?" he tried to lighten her with some humour as she seemed to become calmer. He put one finger softly beneath her chin and raised her face towards his, looking straight into her lovely, tear-filled eyes with compassion and love.
"My friend...she was kidnapped...and when she fought back they killed her...First it was Talar, her fiance, was killed here on the starbase...and now she is gone too." She hiccuped.
"That's terrible" he agreed, holding her tighter. "I'm so sorry honey. Is there anything I can do?"
Jana looked up at him, her cheeks red from the tears and her eyes glassy. "Never leave me like so many have...I couldn't bear to loose you too Ben...I couldn't." She said against his chest, shaking her head. ~I am already falling in love with you.~ She thought to herself.
"Hey! I have no intention of leaving, or losing, the one perfect thing that life has ever offered me." He titled her chin back up again and kissed her softly but with feeling. He was conscious of her grief and was careful not to make this seem like he was only interested in getting kisses out of her but then again he wanted her to understand he was genuine in what might sound like a chat up line if she didn't know he was being totally straight with her.
Holding her gently against him, Ben stroked Jana's hair and led her to the sofa to sit down. He sat back against the corner and put a cushion behind her, lying her head on his chest, allowing her to cry it out until she was completely quiet and still.
Still stroking her hair, he had been silently waiting until she was ready to talk. "You okay baby?" he asked, becoming painfully aware what a stupid question that was as it left his lips. ~how could you say such moronic things Kensington?~ he admonished himself internally.
Jana nodded but she still cripped his shirt, only silent tears fell down her cheeks. She no longer felt alone and she felt safe in his arms. "Melanie had been through so much. She lost Talar during the Romulan attack here and while she one on another mission a console blew up near her and she lost most of her memory of the past year or so. She reached out to me when she found out about Talar and her memory was gone..." Jana wasn't sure how to tell Ben about the rest and perhaps it wasn't the best time but she needed to talk to someone she trusted about it.
"Do you know of the betazoid-romulan embryo that is being kept safe in sickbay?" She asked quietly looking up at him.
"yeah, why? How do you know about it?" he asked gently.
"The embryo belonged to Melanie and Talar...Melanie left a personal log to be found if she had died. It was addressed to me...She wants me to raise her baby." Jana couldn't look at Ben, she knew that he would probably walk away now and she didn't blame him.
"And how do *you* feel about that?" Ben replied, still keeping his tone soft and his arms around Jana protectively.
"I don't know." She sighed. "I know I can't simply leave the last piece of them there like that frozen in time. It was her last wish. Would I even be able to carry the child? I'm human...they weren't." Jana wanted to raise the child, there would be a part of Melanie and Talar living on.
"What species were they?" Ben asked, his mind racing with the possibilities that what she was saying seemed to raise.
"I would assume they were Betazoid and Romulan since that is what I said the embryo is." She snapped and pulled away. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I didn't mean..shit." She shook her head, Jana hadn't meant to snap at Ben. "I had no right to snap at you...I'm sorry."
"It's alright" Ben looked worried and a little sad. "You're bearing a huge weight right now. Your grief for your friend and the weight of her legacy are a lot to deal with. You need to rest, it will all seem much clearer after a few hours' sleep. Would you like me to prescribe something for you to help you get off to sleep?"
"No...I just want to stay here with you." She snuggled back up to him and closed her eyes. "I don't want to be alone...even in sleep." She whispered, the emotional drain that she had been experiencing was already sending Jana to sleep.
Ben's instinct was to take her back to her own quarters. It seemed the right thing to do. He felt as if he were taking advantage of her vulnerability by letting her stay and become more dependent on him. He wrestled with the dilemma but by the time he had decided, she was asleep against him, looking so sweet and beautiful that he didn't have the heart to wake her. ~Tomorrow, I'll take her back and allow her some space.~ he promised his conscience.
OFF
A JP Between:
Lt. Ben Kensington
ACMO - DS5
and
Lt. Jana Kasikova
CSO - DS5
by Lieutenant Jana Kasikova & Commander Chelsea Dunham
Post Details
| Title | Sorrow | |
| Mission | Interlude | |
| Author(s) | Lieutenant Jana Kasikova & Commander Chelsea Dunham | |
| Posted | Tue Oct 19, 2010 @ 9:19pm | |
| Location | ACMO's Quarters | |
| Timeline | SD34 - pm |
Jana sat at her desk completely dumbfounded. Her close friend...her best friend was gone. She stared at the screen for a long time, replaying the conversation she had had with Melanie's CO. Jana refused to let any of her friends in the department see her cry. She checked the computer to see where Ben was and left her department walking as fast as her legs would carry her without trying to look like she was rushing anywhere.
She rang the the chime at Ben's quarters and waited for him to answer. Once he opened the door she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him, finally allowing herself to cry.
Ben was taken aback but he just stepped back so the door closed behind her and allowed his arms to envelop her, holding her close until she stopped sobbing. He kissed her hair gently and swept it back from her forehead, kissing that too.
"Heyyyyyy" he murmoured gently. "What's the matter, baby? What happened? Did you tell me it's all over and i died of a broken heart?" he tried to lighten her with some humour as she seemed to become calmer. He put one finger softly beneath her chin and raised her face towards his, looking straight into her lovely, tear-filled eyes with compassion and love.
"My friend...she was kidnapped...and when she fought back they killed her...First it was Talar, her fiance, was killed here on the starbase...and now she is gone too." She hiccuped.
"That's terrible" he agreed, holding her tighter. "I'm so sorry honey. Is there anything I can do?"
Jana looked up at him, her cheeks red from the tears and her eyes glassy. "Never leave me like so many have...I couldn't bear to loose you too Ben...I couldn't." She said against his chest, shaking her head. ~I am already falling in love with you.~ She thought to herself.
"Hey! I have no intention of leaving, or losing, the one perfect thing that life has ever offered me." He titled her chin back up again and kissed her softly but with feeling. He was conscious of her grief and was careful not to make this seem like he was only interested in getting kisses out of her but then again he wanted her to understand he was genuine in what might sound like a chat up line if she didn't know he was being totally straight with her.
Holding her gently against him, Ben stroked Jana's hair and led her to the sofa to sit down. He sat back against the corner and put a cushion behind her, lying her head on his chest, allowing her to cry it out until she was completely quiet and still.
Still stroking her hair, he had been silently waiting until she was ready to talk. "You okay baby?" he asked, becoming painfully aware what a stupid question that was as it left his lips. ~how could you say such moronic things Kensington?~ he admonished himself internally.
Jana nodded but she still cripped his shirt, only silent tears fell down her cheeks. She no longer felt alone and she felt safe in his arms. "Melanie had been through so much. She lost Talar during the Romulan attack here and while she one on another mission a console blew up near her and she lost most of her memory of the past year or so. She reached out to me when she found out about Talar and her memory was gone..." Jana wasn't sure how to tell Ben about the rest and perhaps it wasn't the best time but she needed to talk to someone she trusted about it.
"Do you know of the betazoid-romulan embryo that is being kept safe in sickbay?" She asked quietly looking up at him.
"yeah, why? How do you know about it?" he asked gently.
"The embryo belonged to Melanie and Talar...Melanie left a personal log to be found if she had died. It was addressed to me...She wants me to raise her baby." Jana couldn't look at Ben, she knew that he would probably walk away now and she didn't blame him.
"And how do *you* feel about that?" Ben replied, still keeping his tone soft and his arms around Jana protectively.
"I don't know." She sighed. "I know I can't simply leave the last piece of them there like that frozen in time. It was her last wish. Would I even be able to carry the child? I'm human...they weren't." Jana wanted to raise the child, there would be a part of Melanie and Talar living on.
"What species were they?" Ben asked, his mind racing with the possibilities that what she was saying seemed to raise.
"I would assume they were Betazoid and Romulan since that is what I said the embryo is." She snapped and pulled away. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I didn't mean..shit." She shook her head, Jana hadn't meant to snap at Ben. "I had no right to snap at you...I'm sorry."
"It's alright" Ben looked worried and a little sad. "You're bearing a huge weight right now. Your grief for your friend and the weight of her legacy are a lot to deal with. You need to rest, it will all seem much clearer after a few hours' sleep. Would you like me to prescribe something for you to help you get off to sleep?"
"No...I just want to stay here with you." She snuggled back up to him and closed her eyes. "I don't want to be alone...even in sleep." She whispered, the emotional drain that she had been experiencing was already sending Jana to sleep.
Ben's instinct was to take her back to her own quarters. It seemed the right thing to do. He felt as if he were taking advantage of her vulnerability by letting her stay and become more dependent on him. He wrestled with the dilemma but by the time he had decided, she was asleep against him, looking so sweet and beautiful that he didn't have the heart to wake her. ~Tomorrow, I'll take her back and allow her some space.~ he promised his conscience.
OFF
A JP Between:
Lt. Ben Kensington
ACMO - DS5
and
Lt. Jana Kasikova
CSO - DS5