Arrival Augustus Cyphadrus’s Personal Log - Stardate: 63465.31 - Bad Memories

Log Details

Title		Stardate: 63465.31 - Bad Memories
Author		Arrival Augustus Cyphadrus
Posted		Thu Nov 10, 2011 @ 4:30am

I can't remember the last time I've slept through the night without waking up, calling her name. Lieutenant Mackenzie thinks it's a classic case of survivors guilt. I honestly don't know what to think anymore. Only that I... that I wouldn't be in this situation if I got over it. I was never good at accepting the loss of a fellow officer, never mind an entire ship of close friends and the one person in my entire life I've gotten close enough to truly fall in love with. I don't think I'll ever get over her as long as the possibility exists that she is still alive. The notion that I would rather have known she had died disturbs me. Scenarios of what the Tremere have done to Selene haunts me in my dreams. My only hope is that someday soon we'll send a ship through the Eye of Cain again. I just wish that day comes soon enough.

I am beginning to understand why I've been put on medical leave indefinitely.