Beg, Steal or Borrow – "Breaking up is hard to do...."
by Commander Rakka
Post Details
Rakka stretched and groaned on her way down in the turbolift, needing to unwind after a loooong work day. Something nagged at the back of her mind--had she forgotten something in her office? No... couldn't think of anything.
She settled in her quarters, fed her pet snake, and shed her uniform in favour of a set of soft pyjamas. It was early for her to sleep, but she was glad to just be alone for a while, without any demands on her.
The chime sounded, to her surprise. Who would come here at such an hour? Then it occurred to her what she had forgotten.
"YInchu'..." she whispered, feeling awful. She hurried to open the door.
yInchu' stood there, holding a bowl in his hand. He stepped past her into her quarters, his jaw tight. The door slid shut behind him, and they were in darkness.
"I... forgot," Rakka said pitifully.
"I noticed," he muttered. He held up the bowl. "I made this for you, Rakka. I wanted to make you happy, even though you humiliated me today!"
"YInchu'... you humiliated yourself," she said firmly. "You behaved badly. You can't get jealous every time I share a conversation with a co-worker!"
"I don't think that's the problem, is it?" he returned. "I waited for hours for you, knowing you were busy, and thinking surely, if you said you would come, that you would keep your word!"
"I MEANT to!" she insisted. "Can I not be excused for forgetting once?"
"Of course," he replied. "But lapse after lapse becomes difficult to excuse! After all I give to you, I get so little in return! Am I so worthless to you?"
"yInchu'... don't be that way," Rakka sighed.
"Well, how do you WANT me to be?!" he roared, flinging the bowl against the wall, just above her head. Rakka jumped, startled. What might have been an irresistible chocolate dessert was now a mess on her wall.
"Gods know I don't ask you for much!" he continued, pacing agitatedly. "I just want to spend TIME with you, Rakka. Am I supposed to beg and grovel for your consideration? Am I a doormat, letting you treat me badly and walking away with a smile, just willing to give and give and get nothing in return? Is that how I should be?"
Rakka took a step back, jolted by the rush of accusations that seemed to be suddenly showering down upon her. "Wait... that's not fair," she said firmly. "You knew from the start--I was very clear--my work comes first, and I never had anything to offer you. I didn't ask you to do all this--you would not be stopped! You cannot say that I am lying."
yInchu' swallowed and calmed himself. "You say this like you suffered every moment of my presence. You enjoyed me... didn't you?"
"Yes," she admitted. "There have been so many... good things. But you have always wanted... too much of me."
He stepped forward and wrapped his strong arms around her, breathing in the smell of her hair and knowing he might not do so again. "Is it too much to ask for your good favour? Too much to ask for... truth? You are so... closed. So much goes on behind your eyes... and you won't share it. You won't let me in. Why?"
Rakka breathed slowly and leaned on his broad shoulder. She owed him this much... she never thought she could enjoy being held like this. It was like chocolate. "I trust you enough to be near me. I like this... why ruin it?"
"I'm not ruining anything. I want more. I want you not to push me away all the time. I want you not to be ashamed of me. I want all of you... everything."
Rakka stepped back from him. "You can't have everything. No one can."
"Do you mean that? Or is there someone else?"
"I mean it. Who else would there be, yInchu'? The whole world hates Nausicaans, and goodness knows we've never won any beauty contests! I like being with you because you can actually stand the sight of me!" Rakka swallowed quickly, as if to pull back some of her words. She had never planned to be so honest with him.
YInchu' looked stunned for a moment. "Is that really all there is? After all this... that's it?"
"I guess so," she said pathetically. "YInchu'... you know I never wanted a 'relationship'. I know you hoped you would grow on me. But I'm not any more hopeful about this than I was the first day."
"Rakka," he finally said, controlling his emotion. "Do you want to be with me, or don't you? That's all I want to know right now."
She closed her eyes for a few moments. "It's not as simple as that. I wasn't lying when I said I like what we have. But you want a mate... I think you always have. I can't be that for you. The way things are now is... all right with me. I'll try not to be so... unkind. And we'll just continue on. Okay?"
He shook his head. "That's not enough," he snapped, starting to sound genuinely annoyed. His anger grew as he spoke: "If you're going to be with me, we're going to start doing things my way! I have kept at arm's length from you this whole time--I've had ENOUGH!"
He lunged at her, knocking her to the floor. She knew she could beat him in a tussle with no problem, but she was shocked, and suddenly unreasonably scared.
"Get off!" she gasped.
He tore the fabric of her pyjamas, baring his teeth. She pushed at him, and he slammed her wrists down on the floor. "ChoSuvchugh 'oy'lIj Daghur neH!" he snarled.
"STOP IT!" she screamed, horrified at how predatory he had so quickly become. Her fear gave her a momentary burst of adrenaline, and she flipped him over, extricating herself for long enough to grab her phaser. She stumbled back into a corner and huddled there, point it at him.
"Don't touch me.... d-d-don't touch me," she breathed. "Ever... ever again!"
He regarded her with a confused expression. "What are you doing?" he snarled.
"I mean it!" she screamed, setting the phaser to heavy stun. She realized that what he had been doing hadn't necessarily been a deliberate attack... to a Klingon, this might well have been run-of-the-mill foreplay.
"Rakka!" he growled. "QI'yaH! Will you look at yourself? I thought you just needed a firm hand to get things going--and now you're wetting yourself like some tera'ngan infant!"
She held a tight grip on her phaser. "A firm hand... a firm hand?" she gasped, breaking into tears despite his embarrassing insults. "How could you know me so little?"
He shook his head in disgust, standing up straight and glaring down at her. "I was attracted to the strength in you, and now I see what a mistake I've made."
YInchu' turned and stalked toward the door, leaving without another word.
Rakka slowly lowered her phaser arm and blinked a few times to clear her vision. Had she just gotten dumped?
She leaned back against the wall, letting out her tears and clutching together the torn bit of her pyjama top.
***************
Rakka & yInchu'.... finished
by Commander Rakka
Post Details
| Title | "Breaking up is hard to do...." | |
| Mission | Beg, Steal or Borrow | |
| Author(s) | Commander Rakka | |
| Posted | Sat Feb 07, 2009 @ 7:54pm | |
| Location | Rakka's Quarters | |
| Timeline | SD8, 0100 hrs |
She settled in her quarters, fed her pet snake, and shed her uniform in favour of a set of soft pyjamas. It was early for her to sleep, but she was glad to just be alone for a while, without any demands on her.
The chime sounded, to her surprise. Who would come here at such an hour? Then it occurred to her what she had forgotten.
"YInchu'..." she whispered, feeling awful. She hurried to open the door.
yInchu' stood there, holding a bowl in his hand. He stepped past her into her quarters, his jaw tight. The door slid shut behind him, and they were in darkness.
"I... forgot," Rakka said pitifully.
"I noticed," he muttered. He held up the bowl. "I made this for you, Rakka. I wanted to make you happy, even though you humiliated me today!"
"YInchu'... you humiliated yourself," she said firmly. "You behaved badly. You can't get jealous every time I share a conversation with a co-worker!"
"I don't think that's the problem, is it?" he returned. "I waited for hours for you, knowing you were busy, and thinking surely, if you said you would come, that you would keep your word!"
"I MEANT to!" she insisted. "Can I not be excused for forgetting once?"
"Of course," he replied. "But lapse after lapse becomes difficult to excuse! After all I give to you, I get so little in return! Am I so worthless to you?"
"yInchu'... don't be that way," Rakka sighed.
"Well, how do you WANT me to be?!" he roared, flinging the bowl against the wall, just above her head. Rakka jumped, startled. What might have been an irresistible chocolate dessert was now a mess on her wall.
"Gods know I don't ask you for much!" he continued, pacing agitatedly. "I just want to spend TIME with you, Rakka. Am I supposed to beg and grovel for your consideration? Am I a doormat, letting you treat me badly and walking away with a smile, just willing to give and give and get nothing in return? Is that how I should be?"
Rakka took a step back, jolted by the rush of accusations that seemed to be suddenly showering down upon her. "Wait... that's not fair," she said firmly. "You knew from the start--I was very clear--my work comes first, and I never had anything to offer you. I didn't ask you to do all this--you would not be stopped! You cannot say that I am lying."
yInchu' swallowed and calmed himself. "You say this like you suffered every moment of my presence. You enjoyed me... didn't you?"
"Yes," she admitted. "There have been so many... good things. But you have always wanted... too much of me."
He stepped forward and wrapped his strong arms around her, breathing in the smell of her hair and knowing he might not do so again. "Is it too much to ask for your good favour? Too much to ask for... truth? You are so... closed. So much goes on behind your eyes... and you won't share it. You won't let me in. Why?"
Rakka breathed slowly and leaned on his broad shoulder. She owed him this much... she never thought she could enjoy being held like this. It was like chocolate. "I trust you enough to be near me. I like this... why ruin it?"
"I'm not ruining anything. I want more. I want you not to push me away all the time. I want you not to be ashamed of me. I want all of you... everything."
Rakka stepped back from him. "You can't have everything. No one can."
"Do you mean that? Or is there someone else?"
"I mean it. Who else would there be, yInchu'? The whole world hates Nausicaans, and goodness knows we've never won any beauty contests! I like being with you because you can actually stand the sight of me!" Rakka swallowed quickly, as if to pull back some of her words. She had never planned to be so honest with him.
YInchu' looked stunned for a moment. "Is that really all there is? After all this... that's it?"
"I guess so," she said pathetically. "YInchu'... you know I never wanted a 'relationship'. I know you hoped you would grow on me. But I'm not any more hopeful about this than I was the first day."
"Rakka," he finally said, controlling his emotion. "Do you want to be with me, or don't you? That's all I want to know right now."
She closed her eyes for a few moments. "It's not as simple as that. I wasn't lying when I said I like what we have. But you want a mate... I think you always have. I can't be that for you. The way things are now is... all right with me. I'll try not to be so... unkind. And we'll just continue on. Okay?"
He shook his head. "That's not enough," he snapped, starting to sound genuinely annoyed. His anger grew as he spoke: "If you're going to be with me, we're going to start doing things my way! I have kept at arm's length from you this whole time--I've had ENOUGH!"
He lunged at her, knocking her to the floor. She knew she could beat him in a tussle with no problem, but she was shocked, and suddenly unreasonably scared.
"Get off!" she gasped.
He tore the fabric of her pyjamas, baring his teeth. She pushed at him, and he slammed her wrists down on the floor. "ChoSuvchugh 'oy'lIj Daghur neH!" he snarled.
"STOP IT!" she screamed, horrified at how predatory he had so quickly become. Her fear gave her a momentary burst of adrenaline, and she flipped him over, extricating herself for long enough to grab her phaser. She stumbled back into a corner and huddled there, point it at him.
"Don't touch me.... d-d-don't touch me," she breathed. "Ever... ever again!"
He regarded her with a confused expression. "What are you doing?" he snarled.
"I mean it!" she screamed, setting the phaser to heavy stun. She realized that what he had been doing hadn't necessarily been a deliberate attack... to a Klingon, this might well have been run-of-the-mill foreplay.
"Rakka!" he growled. "QI'yaH! Will you look at yourself? I thought you just needed a firm hand to get things going--and now you're wetting yourself like some tera'ngan infant!"
She held a tight grip on her phaser. "A firm hand... a firm hand?" she gasped, breaking into tears despite his embarrassing insults. "How could you know me so little?"
He shook his head in disgust, standing up straight and glaring down at her. "I was attracted to the strength in you, and now I see what a mistake I've made."
YInchu' turned and stalked toward the door, leaving without another word.
Rakka slowly lowered her phaser arm and blinked a few times to clear her vision. Had she just gotten dumped?
She leaned back against the wall, letting out her tears and clutching together the torn bit of her pyjama top.
***************
Rakka & yInchu'.... finished